If you don’t see a answer to your question on here, please feel free to email me at: tapifer@grandecom.net
(New questions will appear on the top)
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Where do we stand as far as going back to the RE for IVF: as of right now we are on hold, still saving and always praying. Due to my recent job transition we don't look to go back to the RE for quite a while (whats quite a while? not sure...6 months?? I can't really answer that question)....we are still praying for a miracle in the mean time, we are still actively trying....I have one more cycle of 50mg clomid then we will go back to my regular OBGYN for follicle scans. (The clomid was brought back in the picture due to my very abnormal cycles, this was put in action to try to balance us out so that we could at least have the opportunity to try naturally...we will not go above 50mg, as this is more-less to help regulate me vs. getting me to ovulate, we do not want to take chances of hyper-stimulating my ovaries as well as the more the mg the higher the cost and we are trying to save money for IVF...
Where exactly do I work now and what do I do: I moved to a local jewelery store as the store manager. I seriously do everything from sale the jewelry to payroll. I love it so far as it's so different from anything I've ever done, not to mention it's more money as well. :-)
Where exactly do I work now and what do I do: I moved to a local jewelery store as the store manager. I seriously do everything from sale the jewelry to payroll. I love it so far as it's so different from anything I've ever done, not to mention it's more money as well. :-)
What religion are you (besides Christian)?
I was born and raised Baptist; Zach was born and raised Catholic… my Grandparents are members at the First United Methodist Church and we visited there a good few months before we joined. Being Methodist was the perfect mix for us, it’s just the right about of Baptist and the right amount of Catholic; we are really happy that we found a church home.
* Where does your strength come from and how do you stay so strong through this hard time?
My strength comes from God. Yes, my husband gives me strength, as well as my family and my wonderful friends…but ultimately it’s God…and God is also the one who keeps me strong through this journey. I lean on him a lot, trust in him and have faith in him that he has a plan for Zach and I.
* As far as your infertility, did you have things that happened before you started trying to conceive? When did you realize that something was wrong?
I’ve always had irregular cycles; when I was young my mom took me to the Dr. and they discussed birth control to help regulate me. Having irregular cycles could have been a sign, but nothing was ever mentioned about them; and that was the only thing that could have possibly been a sign. As far as when I realized something was wrong—our TTC story didn’t start like others, we were engaged with only a few short months until our wedding date. I went in for a regular pap and it came back abnormal; that’s when I had to undergo biopsies, scrapings and more intense testing’s to figure out why…they told me I had severe dysplasia—border line cancer cells. At that time I was more scared, TTC never entered my mind—that was until my Dr. took Zach and I in his office and told us if we planned on having children it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start now because with the looks of my cervix I possibly might have to have hysterectomy by the age of 30…that was about the time I knew something was really wrong….to read my whole story click here.
* If you could describe Zach in one word, You and in word (and Peanut-Ginger and Sasha since I know how much you love your fur kids!) what would it be?
First how sweet of you to add my fur-kidos into this, they def. are a HUGE part of our little family and I appreciate your thoughtfulness!
Zach-Adventurous
Me-Observant
Peanut- Messy
Ginger- Pre-Madonna
Sasha-Needy
* Where do you stand as far as IVF—will you be having this done anytime soon?
To be honest, where just taking one day at a time…it’s hard to pinpoint a day in which it will be done. We are still saving money and praying that a miracle happens in the mean time.
* Have you thought about adoption?
Adoption has been a big thought; as well as discussed between Zach and I a few times, if this is the journey God wants us to go down, we are prepared.
* Have you looked into IVF in another country due to the expense?
Actually, yes we have (I surprising also get this emailed to me the most out of all topics), This is something we are observant of, but not sure about as well… I am SO scared about scams and not sure what’s real and what isn’t (if anyone knows of somewhere that is proven to be real, please feel free to email me so I can look into it future).
* How long did it take you to accept infertility and be happy with your life?
Infertility is such a hard struggle in life. It’s one only those that walk these shoes understand…I was depressed off and on for about the first year…it wasn’t until I had a pure melt down that I realized it’s not worth it, why dwell on something you have no control over? I accepted infertility close to a year ½ after trying. I still have my moments as you can all see…but that’s part of being human!
* How did you start blogging? Did you think your blog would become so big?
I started blogging in order to keep my family updated with our Dr. appts and our lives in general; I figured it would be easier vs. calling and emailing each person; I never thought people would be interested in following our journey—I wouldn’t consider our blog ‘big’...
* Did you play any sports in highschool?
I was in track my freshman year, then went into drill team (dance class) and was in there until I graduated.
* If you could give any advice to an infertile couple, what would it be?
Take one day at a time, find peace with this journey and learn from it…if you let God guide you, it can make you and your spouse stronger. Have faith and don’t give up!
* Do you regret being open about your infertility?
No, how could I? It’s brought me so much closer to my family and friends…not to mention the wonderful people I have met along the way and all the prayers we are getting!! This by far isn’t a journey I would have chosen for myself,however I am thankful for it and I truly believe this was placed in our lives for a reason…although I still find it hard to believe “I” am an inspiration too them, it really brightens my days to hear that “MY” story has helped others.
* How do you handle insensitive comments even when you know they don't know what they are saying?
I have been hurt more than I can count by peoples comments, in the beginning it was hard because you wonder how people can be so insensitive and say these things…however as time goes by, you learn…these people are only trying to help. “Fertile” women have absolutely no clue what “Infertile” women go through, they don’t know what to say, so you learn to just take it with a grain of salt. I still get insensitive comments to this day, however instead of being sad about them, I just tell myself “these people love me and there only trying to help”.
* How did you and Zach meet?
We met at Wal-Mart, he worked in the Garden Center, and I was a Customer Service Manager, one day they had “mothers and grandmothers appreciation day” pretty much all the women there had flowers, it seemed all except for me, I was sad because I wanted a flower-ha! Well this complete stranger (Zach) walked up to get change from me, and said “what’s wrong” I jokingly complained that I had no flower, I came back to my “podium” where I worked from and there was a flower, I looked up as he walked off smiling. From then on out I would walk out to my car to find a flower on my windshield, or go back to my locker to find a flower in my locker…from there….the rest is history :)
* What's your favorite vacation spot?
Pennsylvania, where Zach’s family live-we absolutely love going there and visiting them…also Virginia Beach, we went there on our Honeymoon, but also last year when we went on vacation with his family, that is a place that Zach and I say we will visit as often as we can.
* Which 3 things would you bring if you were on a deserted island?
• A journal
• The Bible
• MY HUSBAND—I can’t make a baby without him :)
* I just always wonder if you (or just anyone TTC in general) get upset when you hear other people get pregnant or are pregnant without trying?
I used to be sad when women who weren’t trying or trying for such a short period of time found out they were pregnant, it’s very easily for infertility patients to feel that way. However after 3 years…over 20 friends being pregnant…2 of them having 2 children in the time I was trying to conceive, you kinda get used to it. I am past my “why not me” stage. Yes seeing mothers who hurt there children, or don’t want there children absolutely kills me to no means, however I’m not the one in control. And although at times I wonder why God blessed them so they could turn around and be so ungrateful, we just have to have faith he has his reasons.
* Do u go to baby showers? How do you decline a Baby Shower?
(I put both of these in one answer) I have been to some and denied others. There is nothing harder then going to function that revolves solely around babies; however if you suffer from infertility just let your friends know that you don’t think you will be able to attend. One of my test throughout this journey was planning my one of my best friends baby shower; I wanted nothing more than to make it perfect, but at the same time I had my share of tears. It was hard, there was a couple times I didn’t know if I could go through with it, I was open and talked to her about it, she knew my situation, her and her mom helped me with it, which helped tremendously. There are just times where you have to be completely honest and tell your friends the truth, if they are true friends they will understand. And for the women who have friends having a hard time conceiving, if they come to you and tell you they don’t think they will be able to make it just try your best to understand, it’s just a very hard situation.
* Has Zach EVER done ANYTHING that annoyed you?
Haha-funny question, if only you knew my husband :) He is so wonderful, but unfortunately God didn’t make anyone perfect, so even though at times I think he is perfect in my eyes, he is far from it,haha! I think guys in general are great at “annoying” :) Lets see…some of the things he does that just drives me bonkers are: Puts his dirty clothes on the floor sometimes and not the hamper…Sometimes leaves the toilet seat up…I have a hemi in my car and he finds the needs to accelerates big time ALL the time when he is driving, which just erks me b/c I baby my car and hate wasting gas…He will hit snooze a million times in the morning-oh how this flusters me! Haha!...When he is sick he is the BIGGEST baby…he scarf’s his food down every meal like he hasn’t ate in months…Those are just a few…I really could go on forever, hahaha…
* Why are you so faithful?
Why dwell on something you have no control over? If I am sad and cry all the time, and am angry at my situation and stay in a bad mood because God isn’t listening to ME…WHAT will that change? What will that do???? NOTHING, it will only cause me to be a negative person, which I vow NOT to be! I HAVE a life out of TTC, I have a husband who I am so very blessed to have and a family who is amazing, why dwell on the things God “hasn’t” blessed me with when I could be thankful for ALL the blessings I DO have in my life??? I had two choices when going through this journey…a)dwell on the fact I’m not a mommy…b) leave the worrying to God and live my life…I choose to live my life and leave this in God’s hands!!!!
* I hope this question doesn’t hurt your feelings, but have you ever been pregnant?
Sweetie, no that doesn’t hurt my feelings…I have not ever been pregnant, at least not to my knowledge. Sometimes it scares me because I fear that I am not able to conceive, sometimes I find myself thinking “if only I could just know it’s possible” BUT then I see my many friends who have lost there children through miscarriages and I know that God hasn’t let that happen to me for a reason, I think I am strong at times, however those ladies are 100 times stronger than I could ever be!
* What would you do if you have multiples, aren’t you scared of the thought?
I think about it from time to time, but as far as being scared…nope. I just take one day at a time, if God thinks that we can handle more than one at a time then I will lean on him to get me through that, as of now I am leaning on him to get me to a baby period…whether it’s one…two…three…four or more… ((BUT, if we were to have more than 3, then I will give ya’ll my address so ya’ll can send me diapers :) haha!!!!))
* What is your favorite thing to cook?
I love my chicken stuffed with cheese wrapped in bacon…ohhh sooo yummy!!! :) you just take chicken breast, stuff with any type of cheese, then wrap with bacon, put toothpicks in it to keep it wrapped up, then bake it at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes or until the chicken is fully cooked…(I like crunchy bacon, soI brown my bacon a little bit on the stove top first, then wrap it up :))
* Do you collect anything?
I LOVE Willowtree figurines, I have 4 right now and one day hope to have a lot more :)…I also love crosses, I have a cross wall in my house, when we go on vacations I have been getting a cross to bring home and hopefully one day it will be full of various looking crosses :)
* You might have already explained this before, and if so I am sorry, but why aren’t you seeing an actual fertility clinic already?
I know I have told some, but I can’t remember if I have said it on here or not; so good question :) Our ins. does NOT cover any type of infertility; it will cover treatments, medicine, test, and procedures leading up to the diagnoses of infertility. Although my Dr. has diagnosed me with unexplained infertility I am blessed that he has not noted it in my chart so that ins. will still pay for a lot of my procedures right now. Our nearest fertility clinic is 3+ hours away, so not to mention the cost of what we will have to pay, vs. the travel time, that is something neither of us are ready for; we are doing great by not stressing now, however we feel that step will cause us stress that we are not quite ready for. Maybe someday….hopefully we don’t have to take that step, however if we do it will be one that God will guide us through :)
* I would love to be able to send you cards or books, is there anyway to have your address, I know you might not want to give it to a stranger?
Our PO Box is:
PO Box 8360
Waco, TX 76710
* Can you tell us 3 random facts about you?
* I smell the inside of cups before I pour my drink in them…
* I am obsessed with shoes, clothes in general
* I brush my teeth at least 4 times a day, once in the morning and about 3 times before bed…one when I get home, one after we eat and one before bed…
I was born and raised Baptist; Zach was born and raised Catholic… my Grandparents are members at the First United Methodist Church and we visited there a good few months before we joined. Being Methodist was the perfect mix for us, it’s just the right about of Baptist and the right amount of Catholic; we are really happy that we found a church home.
* Where does your strength come from and how do you stay so strong through this hard time?
My strength comes from God. Yes, my husband gives me strength, as well as my family and my wonderful friends…but ultimately it’s God…and God is also the one who keeps me strong through this journey. I lean on him a lot, trust in him and have faith in him that he has a plan for Zach and I.
* As far as your infertility, did you have things that happened before you started trying to conceive? When did you realize that something was wrong?
I’ve always had irregular cycles; when I was young my mom took me to the Dr. and they discussed birth control to help regulate me. Having irregular cycles could have been a sign, but nothing was ever mentioned about them; and that was the only thing that could have possibly been a sign. As far as when I realized something was wrong—our TTC story didn’t start like others, we were engaged with only a few short months until our wedding date. I went in for a regular pap and it came back abnormal; that’s when I had to undergo biopsies, scrapings and more intense testing’s to figure out why…they told me I had severe dysplasia—border line cancer cells. At that time I was more scared, TTC never entered my mind—that was until my Dr. took Zach and I in his office and told us if we planned on having children it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start now because with the looks of my cervix I possibly might have to have hysterectomy by the age of 30…that was about the time I knew something was really wrong….to read my whole story click here.
* If you could describe Zach in one word, You and in word (and Peanut-Ginger and Sasha since I know how much you love your fur kids!) what would it be?
First how sweet of you to add my fur-kidos into this, they def. are a HUGE part of our little family and I appreciate your thoughtfulness!
Zach-Adventurous
Me-Observant
Peanut- Messy
Ginger- Pre-Madonna
Sasha-Needy
* Where do you stand as far as IVF—will you be having this done anytime soon?
To be honest, where just taking one day at a time…it’s hard to pinpoint a day in which it will be done. We are still saving money and praying that a miracle happens in the mean time.
* Have you thought about adoption?
Adoption has been a big thought; as well as discussed between Zach and I a few times, if this is the journey God wants us to go down, we are prepared.
* Have you looked into IVF in another country due to the expense?
Actually, yes we have (I surprising also get this emailed to me the most out of all topics), This is something we are observant of, but not sure about as well… I am SO scared about scams and not sure what’s real and what isn’t (if anyone knows of somewhere that is proven to be real, please feel free to email me so I can look into it future).
* How long did it take you to accept infertility and be happy with your life?
Infertility is such a hard struggle in life. It’s one only those that walk these shoes understand…I was depressed off and on for about the first year…it wasn’t until I had a pure melt down that I realized it’s not worth it, why dwell on something you have no control over? I accepted infertility close to a year ½ after trying. I still have my moments as you can all see…but that’s part of being human!
* How did you start blogging? Did you think your blog would become so big?
I started blogging in order to keep my family updated with our Dr. appts and our lives in general; I figured it would be easier vs. calling and emailing each person; I never thought people would be interested in following our journey—I wouldn’t consider our blog ‘big’...there are so many out there like, Kelly’s Korner and MckMama’s Blog that are BIG blogs!
* Did you play any sports in highschool?
I was in track my freshman year, then went into drill team (dance class) and was in there until I graduated.
* If you could give any advice to an infertile couple, what would it be?
Take one day at a time, find peace with this journey and learn from it…if you let God guide you, it can make you and your spouse stronger. Have faith and don’t give up!
* Do you regret being open about your infertility?
No, how could I? It’s brought me so much closer to my family and friends…not to mention the wonderful people I have met along the way and all the prayers we are getting!! This by far isn’t a journey I would have chosen for myself,however I am thankful for it and I truly believe this was placed in our lives for a reason…although I still find it hard to believe “I” am an inspiration too them, it really brightens my days to hear that “MY” story has helped others.
* How do you handle insensitive comments even when you know they don't know what they are saying?
I have been hurt more than I can count by peoples comments, in the beginning it was hard because you wonder how people can be so insensitive and say these things…however as time goes by, you learn…these people are only trying to help. “Fertile” women have absolutely no clue what “Infertile” women go through, they don’t know what to say, so you learn to just take it with a grain of salt. I still get insensitive comments to this day, however instead of being sad about them, I just tell myself “these people love me and there only trying to help”.
* How did you and Zach meet?
We met at Wal-Mart, he worked in the Garden Center, and I was a Customer Service Manager, one day they had “mothers and grandmothers appreciation day” pretty much all the women there had flowers, it seemed all except for me, I was sad because I wanted a flower-ha! Well this complete stranger (Zach) walked up to get change from me, and said “what’s wrong” I jokingly complained that I had no flower, I came back to my “podium” where I worked from and there was a flower, I looked up as he walked off smiling. From then on out I would walk out to my car to find a flower on my windshield, or go back to my locker to find a flower in my locker…from there….the rest is history :)
* What's your favorite vacation spot?
Pennsylvania, where Zach’s family live-we absolutely love going there and visiting them…also Virginia Beach, we went there on our Honeymoon, but also last year when we went on vacation with his family, that is a place that Zach and I say we will visit as often as we can.
* Which 3 things would you bring if you were on a deserted island?
• A journal
• The Bible
• MY HUSBAND—I can’t make a baby without him :)
* I just always wonder if you (or just anyone TTC in general) get upset when you hear other people get pregnant or are pregnant without trying?
I used to be sad when women who weren’t trying or trying for such a short period of time found out they were pregnant, it’s very easily for infertility patients to feel that way. However after 3 years…over 20 friends being pregnant…2 of them having 2 children in the time I was trying to conceive, you kinda get used to it. I am past my “why not me” stage. Yes seeing mothers who hurt there children, or don’t want there children absolutely kills me to no means, however I’m not the one in control. And although at times I wonder why God blessed them so they could turn around and be so ungrateful, we just have to have faith he has his reasons.
* Do u go to baby showers? How do you decline a Baby Shower?
(I put both of these in one answer) I have been to some and denied others. There is nothing harder then going to function that revolves solely around babies; however if you suffer from infertility just let your friends know that you don’t think you will be able to attend. One of my test throughout this journey was planning my one of my best friends baby shower; I wanted nothing more than to make it perfect, but at the same time I had my share of tears. It was hard, there was a couple times I didn’t know if I could go through with it, I was open and talked to her about it, she knew my situation, her and her mom helped me with it, which helped tremendously. There are just times where you have to be completely honest and tell your friends the truth, if they are true friends they will understand. And for the women who have friends having a hard time conceiving, if they come to you and tell you they don’t think they will be able to make it just try your best to understand, it’s just a very hard situation.
* Has Zach EVER done ANYTHING that annoyed you?
Haha-funny question, if only you knew my husband :) He is so wonderful, but unfortunately God didn’t make anyone perfect, so even though at times I think he is perfect in my eyes, he is far from it,haha! I think guys in general are great at “annoying” :) Lets see…some of the things he does that just drives me bonkers are: Puts his dirty clothes on the floor sometimes and not the hamper…Sometimes leaves the toilet seat up…I have a hemi in my car and he finds the needs to accelerates big time ALL the time when he is driving, which just erks me b/c I baby my car and hate wasting gas…He will hit snooze a million times in the morning-oh how this flusters me! Haha!...When he is sick he is the BIGGEST baby…he scarf’s his food down every meal like he hasn’t ate in months…Those are just a few…I really could go on forever, hahaha…
* Why are you so faithful?
Why dwell on something you have no control over? If I am sad and cry all the time, and am angry at my situation and stay in a bad mood because God isn’t listening to ME…WHAT will that change? What will that do???? NOTHING, it will only cause me to be a negative person, which I vow NOT to be! I HAVE a life out of TTC, I have a husband who I am so very blessed to have and a family who is amazing, why dwell on the things God “hasn’t” blessed me with when I could be thankful for ALL the blessings I DO have in my life??? I had two choices when going through this journey…a)dwell on the fact I’m not a mommy…b) leave the worrying to God and live my life…I choose to live my life and leave this in God’s hands!!!!
* I hope this question doesn’t hurt your feelings, but have you ever been pregnant?
Sweetie, no that doesn’t hurt my feelings…I have not ever been pregnant, at least not to my knowledge. Sometimes it scares me because I fear that I am not able to conceive, sometimes I find myself thinking “if only I could just know it’s possible” BUT then I see my many friends who have lost there children through miscarriages and I know that God hasn’t let that happen to me for a reason, I think I am strong at times, however those ladies are 100 times stronger than I could ever be!
* What would you do if you have multiples, aren’t you scared of the thought?
I think about it from time to time, but as far as being scared…nope. I just take one day at a time, if God thinks that we can handle more than one at a time then I will lean on him to get me through that, as of now I am leaning on him to get me to a baby period…whether it’s one…two…three…four or more… ((BUT, if we were to have more than 3, then I will give ya’ll my address so ya’ll can send me diapers :) haha!!!!))
* What is your favorite thing to cook?
I love my chicken stuffed with cheese wrapped in bacon…ohhh sooo yummy!!! :) you just take chicken breast, stuff with any type of cheese, then wrap with bacon, put toothpicks in it to keep it wrapped up, then bake it at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes or until the chicken is fully cooked…(I like crunchy bacon, soI brown my bacon a little bit on the stove top first, then wrap it up :))
* Do you collect anything?
I LOVE Willowtree figurines, I have 4 right now and one day hope to have a lot more :)…I also love crosses, I have a cross wall in my house, when we go on vacations I have been getting a cross to bring home and hopefully one day it will be full of various looking crosses :)
* You might have already explained this before, and if so I am sorry, but why aren’t you seeing an actual fertility clinic already?
I know I have told some, but I can’t remember if I have said it on here or not; so good question :) Our ins. does NOT cover any type of infertility; it will cover treatments, medicine, test, and procedures leading up to the diagnoses of infertility. Although my Dr. has diagnosed me with unexplained infertility I am blessed that he has not noted it in my chart so that ins. will still pay for a lot of my procedures right now. Our nearest fertility clinic is 3+ hours away, so not to mention the cost of what we will have to pay, vs. the travel time, that is something neither of us are ready for; we are doing great by not stressing now, however we feel that step will cause us stress that we are not quite ready for. Maybe someday….hopefully we don’t have to take that step, however if we do it will be one that God will guide us through :)
* I would love to be able to send you cards or books, is there anyway to have your address, I know you might not want to give it to a stranger?
Our PO Box is:
PO Box 8360
Waco, TX 76710
* Can you tell us 3 random facts about you?
* I smell the inside of cups before I pour my drink in them…
* I am obsessed with shoes, clothes in general
* I brush my teeth at least 4 times a day, once in the morning and about 3 times before bed…one when I get home, one after we eat and one before bed…
