Reflections

It's been about a year since our last (and very first IVF)--you would think I would eventually quit thinking about it--but truth be known I think of it often.

How much pain and discomfort my body went through, yet how wonderful the whole experience felt...how when our  'babies' where placed back in me how exhilarating that felt knowing that 2 little babies that Zach and I created were waiting to attach and grow...

Watching my pregnancy tests get darker and darker day by day knowing 'this is finally it'...seeing the word 'pregnant' without the 'not' and how amazing that day felt!! Seeing how my husband cared for me and my 'belly' at the time, not wanting to hurt anything.

The the awful day when my tests went to negative and my beta came back a 4....

As I type this I look up at our bulletin board in our office to look up at our ultrasound of 'our babies'...friends and family often tell us to throw them away as they only bring us 'down'....but truth is they don't bring us down, they make us happy knowing what we had, even if it was short lived.

One day (and hopefully/prayerfully) soon I will be able to tell you a child is on it's way, whether it's pregnancy natural, IVF, or adoption...God has a plan for us and we plan to follow it!

Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers...and maybe our last IVF was meant to be a learning lesson for Zach and I...and stepping stone in the right path. We learned alot about ourselves and our relationship and just how strong we are.

Sometimes it's nice just to sit back and reflect on all that God has taken you through--the good, bad and ugly.



Kudos to my man!

My husband--he is such a hard worker, a loving and caring husband, and my very best friend! He works hard for our family and for our dreams! He recently has received a promotion, and I am beyond proud of his hard work and accomplishments!

Zach is the type of guy who will put everyone before him, he has such a powerful care for his customers and his friends...he goes above and beyond the call of duty to help anyone out...

I am beyond thankful and blessed to call this man my husband! 

Congrats honey! You deserve this!

Pete & My Pepa

I received alot of questions about my grandfather and his dog Pete--most wanted to know if he was in The Little Rascals--that answer is no. Although he was friends with the cast, Buckwheat was one of his closest friends...he always told me they would eat pickles together :)

My grandfather, better know to me as 'Pepa' and to others as Ted Lucenay grew up in California--my great grandfather, Harry Lucenay was the owner of Pete (and Pete's dad Pal). Pete first got his break in show business in the 1920s when he took over Pal's, his dads , place in the Buster Brown silent movies. The Buster Brown director, Hal Roach, went on to direct Pete in the Our Gang comedies. Infamous for the ring around his left eye and his funny antics, Pete quickly stole the show.

 Pete died in 1946, when my Pepa was 18. My grandfather joined the Army and after his discharge, settled in the Waco area in the 1950s when he married my grandmother, MaPerk. 

Before my grandfather passed away it was normal for him to be bombarded with requests for pictures and information about his beloved animal. Museums have contacted him, and the Waco-McLennan County Library also wanted information for a display--there is a local channel on TV that they would air my grandfather on with him talking about Pete--Zach never got to meet my Pepa, but shortly after he passed away I could hear his voice in the other room, as I walked in Zach was watching his show...it was so emotional and so surreal to see my grandfather, healthy-happy-and talking about his beloved Pete...it was also really neat that Zach got to see him as well :)

Although my grandpa was used to the attention, Pete was more than a celebrity to him. He was a best friend.

"He was a gentle, playful and warm dog," Pepa said. "He would sleep at the foot of my bed. He was just the regular family dog. I really miss him." ...."He was always recognized,"... "Everybody loved him."

The black ring around Pete's left eye was not the work of a makeup artist. The natural skin coloration was such an oddity that it became certified by Ripley's Believe It or Not.

I remember asking my Pepa several times about Pete, I would curl up in his lap and just listen to the story over and over...

Pic A Day

I have participated in the February picture a day challenge--I however haven't had time to blog them :) So here is my day 1-16

DAY 1: MY VIEW-while getting a pedi

 

DAY 2: WORDS-from my sweet birthday card from my husband :)

 DAY 3: HANDS

 

DAY 4: STRANGER-while waiting for our movie date to begin 

DAY 5: 10AM--cleaning

DAY 6-DINNER: Forgot to take a picture of my dinner, so this was my yummy dessert!

DAY 7: BUTTON--off my jeans

DAY 8: SUN--the little we had that day

Day 9 (was a door--I forgot to take a pic of that one)

DAY10: ME :)

DAY 11: Something I love--My grandpa whom I miss dearly (pictured with his dog Pete from the Little Rascals) 

DAY 12: Picture of my closet-sneak peak because I'm guilty of a very messy closet these days :)

DAY 13: BLUE--rings at work :)

DAY 14: HEART--the necklace I want so bad :)

DAY 15: PHONE--my new phone cover

DAY 16: SOMETHING NEW--my bracelet I received for my birthday :)

I seriously planned on doing this daily or weekly, and as you can see I am on day 16 and just now blogging all of them :) 

Life has been crazy lately, and I promise as soon as I can gasp a quick breath I will update y'all on everything--EVERYTHING IS OK--just alot of little things :)

Gah' I'm Old

Today I am 28

My 10 year highschool reunuin is in June!

10 years I have been out of highschool!

I am only 2 years away from 30!

I went to Clinque the other day and stocked up on all sorts of anti aging products--call me crazy--but I am just preparing. Maybe it's age, maybe it's our infertility journey--but I find new gray hairs and new wrinkles every day...NOT COOL! So I guess hair dye and anti Clinque will be my best friends for a while :)

Gah' I'm old....

Ughhhhh

That best describes how I feel at the moment :(

Since Tuesday I have felt bad, Wednesday I started a little pesty cough...Thursday it got a little worse...Friday it increased and Saturday it was awful.

I had to work Saturday-and throughout the day I just kept feeling weaker and weaker...

On my way home I went to the Treat n Go clinic that I pass on my way home from work--I have never been to an urgent care clinic, but it's not so bad!!

I have been diagnosed with Bronchitis---BUMMER!! She stated my lungs sound a little 'junky' but it's not quite pneumonia! PHEW!!

I came straight home, literally was crawled in bed by 7:30---woke up at 8am, ate me a cinnamon roll and now I am back in bed--sounds fun huh?

I feel awwwfull :(

Life is Fragile...

Zach expierenced a moment that will stay for him with the rest of his life--a moment that can haunt you.

Yesterday Zach found a man (co-worker at a distant branch) in there work truck passed away--

The guy had a massive heart attack in his truck--Zach went up to check on him as most thought he was 'napping before his long trip back to his branch'---Zach said his gut instinct told him something was seriously wrong, when he opened the door he shook the guy and just thought to his self  'please wake up...' Zach checked his pulse, said it was very cold and his face blue, so Zach ran in to call 911...once the ambulance got there they confirmed he had passed.

He handled the situation so great-I am proud of how great he handled it. However when he got with me I could tell how shaken up he was--all he kept telling me was 'I just wish he would have woken up'..

Please keep this gentleman's family in your prayers-such a hard time to go through.

Say a little prayer for Zach as well as he continues to replay the situation in his head-

On a side note, we found out that my sweet friend Lorri's cancer is incurable, right now they are trying to determine the best pain management to make her comfortable-we have no idea 'how bad' things are at this time. Please keep her family in your prayers.

Sometimes it seems like your surrounded by bad things happening...

'Life is fragile, Handle with Prayer'