(OK, so I found this, and since I tend to be really serious when it comes to infertility, I can definitely relate to MORE than a few of these--partly funny, partly sad...but VERY true...all my TTC friends will SO be able to relate to this!!!!) Enjoy!
Sniglets are funny made-up words/definitions for those things in life that just don't seem to have any "official" terminology. The world of infertility provides lots of hilarious inspiration.
General Infertility Sniglets:
Psycho-symptom-atic Syndrome: a psychosomatic condition afflicting women during the two-week waiting period; marked by a tendency to incorrectly attribute every bodily twinge and twitch to the early stages of pregnancy.
Yearnation: the overwhelming urge to urinate while recording your morning basal body temperature reading.
Peetience: what you learn to aquire when starting to chart your basal body temperature.*
Bladder Praying: praying that your bladder will fill up so that you can take an HPT - because it's day 29 and you KNOW FOR SURE THAT THE TEST RESULTS ARE GOING TO BE POSITIVE THIS TIME.
Pregsplotion: the sudden abundance of pregnant women in your vicinity within hours of your negative pregnancy test.
Coitus timeruptus: the practice of timing intercourse to correspond with the timing of ovulation.
Coinus interruptus: the impact of infertility treatments on one's pocketbook.
Mucusology - the inexact science of attempting to determine the timing of ovulation.
Freeballing: the step beyond boxers taken by truly devoted husbands to up there chances of HIGH sperm count.
Freeballitis: chaffing and raw skin associated with freeballing.
Briefectomy: furtive removal of all tight-fitting briefs from your husband's underwear drawer.
Transfurryence: treating your pets like human babies.
Clearpit Easy: bottomless pit into which women hurl buckets of money while repeatedly testing for pregnancy way too early or while testing for an LH surge.
Looteal phase: the period of time between cycles when all of the insurance statements/doctor's bills come in from the beginning of the cycle. Also a time to save $$ for the upcoming cycle.
Assincline: the odd-looking practice of elevating a woman's buttocks after intercourse in order to maximize the sperm's ability to swim for the egg.
Gluteus Unrelaximus: side effect of the uncomfortable act of propping up the buttocks after baby-sex.
Multiplous avoidus: the act of reminding the nurses yet again (!) to avoid the "infertility" diagnosis on insurance forms.
Day-one-dering: wondering why oh why you have to deal with "day one", yet again! (thats Aunt Flo for those that don't know)
Preggozone: the magnetic area around all infertile women that draws expectant mothers into close viewing range; the first day of any cycle has the greatest magnetic field, closely followed by any day on which an infertile womans fails a pregnancy test.
Miss Mannerism: the habit, when people ask you nosy questions about when you're going to get pregnant or make rude comments like "want my kids?" of looking a combination of shocked and puzzled and saying something like, "Why ever would you say such a thing?"
Graphic Imagination: tweaking, massaging, reorienting, or redrawing your basal body temperature graph/data in an attempt to see either a temperature rise or the magic triphasic pregnancy pattern.
Inferguilty: how you feel when you're having a bad day and you read someone's post announcing their pregnancy and you are overcome with the urge to scream "why not me".
Clomidfiend: a woman under the influence of Clomid-induced mood swings; someone who wants to blame anything and everything on the drug.
ClomiWITCH: a woman uner the influence of clomid. She can becoime the WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!!!!!
Justwaition: 1. the two weeks between ovualation and a pregnancy test. 2. a period of time just before gestation.
Hormotional: easily rattled emotional state brought on by hormone surges; especially symptomatic of women on fertility drugs.
Hormonally Challenged: the politically correct term for a woman who is having mood swings due to infertility treatement.
No comments:
Post a Comment