Friday, July 30, 2010

Mom update...

This is Tiffany's best friend Ashley. Tiffany just called me and her mother was just taken back to surgery and they don't know how long the surgery could last. Tiffany and her family are very thankful for all of the support and prayers and if you could just keep them coming!!

She just wanted everyone to know the latest and I will update again when I hear from her.

Thank you,
Ashley

***NEW UPDATE***

Tiffany texted me again, her mom is out of surgery now. The dr. said, sugery went great, had a small hernea and the bowel slipped inside it-she will have a small road to recovery but doing good!!!

Two Prayer Request

This post may be short as I just ran home from the hospital to change and grab a few things, but I can't leave without asking for a couple prayers...

I got a call yesterday around 6:30 saying they were rushing my mom by ambulance to the hospital due to severe stomach pains and uncontrollably throwing up...after many hours in the ER test discovered that she has a bowel obstruction (on top of everything else that my poor mom has going on)...late last night/early this morning they stuck a tube down her nose (I forget the medical term for this) however this tube goes to her stomach to suck out everything in her stomach/intestines. They are hoping they her twisted/obstructive intestines-bowel will un-kink themselves, however the Dr. is thinking she may indeed need surgery... she is in severe pain and very uncomfortable right now. I stayed up there all night with her, so I am very tired as well...I am about to head back up there... *You might have noticed that my twitter updates on the sidebar have stopped, thats because my phone is crummy and I can't access twitter anymore from my phone--I have been trying to update my facebook though so if you have facebook you are more than welcome to add me (here) and stay updated that way if you wish...Please say a prayer for comfort for my mother as well as a special prayer for the Dr's who are monitoring her as surgeons if she has to have surgery.

ALSO--during this time I received a text message telling me that one of my friend just lost her child due to a horrible accident. I do not want to go into the details as that is not my place; however her baby just turned 1 year old, and I can't imagine the pain they are going through at the moment. I ask you to please lift their whole family up in prayers, please pray for guidance and strength during this time.

Thank y'all!!!! I will do my best to keep y'all updated!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

DIET


I have been on a low-carb diet for about 3 weeks now, I am trying to lose about 5-10 more pounds (all the pounds I gained throughout fertility treatments)....

The first two weeks I just counted carbs and made sure not to exceed 20 a day; although it was hard-it wasn't near as hard as I thought it would be...

The next week I didn't 'count' carbs anymore, I've just been watching them...staying away from any bread, rice, potatoes and anything high in carbs...

I have lost a total of 8lbs within 3 weeks, so this diet is working great, and so many people have commented me on my weight lose; but I still could lose about 5-10 more to be at the weight I was before fertility treatments...

It's also a good thing in general to watch your carbs if you have PCOS as it helps reduce your incline levels which PCOS patients have...so I am going this diet for two reasons...to lose a little weight and in hopes that this may help my hormone levels.

The low carb diet is extremely popular, so I am hoping that out of the close to 400 followers I have, some of y'all will have low carb recipes that I can try. SO if anyone has any low carb tips, snacks, meals (breakfast-lunch-dinner), I'd LOVE to hear about these recipes!!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Are You Pregnant?

Customer: Are you pregnant sweetie?

Me: (stunned, a little insulted and embarrassed) No mam' why do I look pregnant? (wondering in my head how I possibly look pregnant with just losing 8 pounds, thinking to myself I'm never wearing this dress again)

Customer: Oh no mam, your as skinny as a toothpick (haha...not quite-I wish!) You just have that 'glow' about you...

Me: Oh no mam, that's just my sunburned nose (sighing in relief that it's not because I 'look' pregnant...I was really loving this dress but thinking in my head how fast this dress would go in the back of my closet if she said it was because I 'looked' pregnant)


In the four years I've been trying to get pregnant, I have never been asked this question. I've been asked a lot if I thought I was or when will I get pregnant, but never 'are you pregnant' by a complete stranger. I'm not sure if being asked this made me happy or sad, or a little of both. I liked being compared to a toothpick although that's far from true, it felt nice to be told I had a 'glow' even though it was just my nose that's as bright as Rudolph's. But it did make me a little sad because everything in me wanted to say 'why yes I am' and well that would be a flat lie...

So...in the mean time I will make sure I wear even more sunblock to avoid my sunburn being confused with the 'glowing' of a pregnant women, and hopefully the next time someone thinks I'm pregnant I can answer 'yes'! :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

HAPPY

My Father in Law in coming to visit us this weekend from IL, I am very excited to see him and spend some time with him, I wish my mother in law and more family could come--but I've heard rumors they may try to come down for Christmas, which would be amazing!

Hope everyone has a great FRIDAY and WEEKEND!!!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Don't Worry, Be Happy??

At times I have trouble believing that all will be well in the future. It's hard not to question things, were human! I struggle to remember that there is always tomorrow, and miracles happen every day! I tend to catch myself saying 'that will never happen', however that's not true. My momma used to say 'never say never' and that's the truth! God has a plan, and he is the only one who knows when that plan will unfold!

I have learned that those few times when I fall into negative thoughts, it's ok to feel this way. For the longest time (and sometimes still) I feel ashamed to be mad. I think about how many other people have it so much worse than I do, I feel guilty for dwelling. But with God's help, I'm learning it's okay to feel hurt-it brings me closer to him.

While God does not walk around singing, 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' he tells us in his own words that we can never extend our lives by worrying about it. Instead we are to keep the faith and hold on to the hope that our faith should bring us closer to him.

I need to remember that everyone has a different path in life; although infertility can sometime seem that everyone is on one path while your on the other by yourself, I need to remind myself that I am not alone-nor is everyone else together. Everyone else is on there own individual path created with love by our Lord and Savior!

Hope carries us forward through life when it seems that all else fails us! What seems to us as a bitter trail at the moment is often blessings in disguise.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Big Brother


BIG BROTHER IS BACK ON...AHHHH!!!!!

Please tell me I am not the only Big Brother FAN out there...I know I can't be!

I am extremely addicted to this show, I started watching Big Brother on the very first episode and was hooked from the get-go!

I am loving this season so far and not sure just yet who I am routing for. Every year a group of co-workers and friends go in and make a 'big brother pot'...we draw names on which contestant we will get and if 'our' player wins the game we get the money....last year I won b/c I had Jordan! I am not feeling as confident this go around, I have Rachel and just by the very first show she isn't my type of girl, she's a bit wild for my taste and I'm hoping she doesn't get on many peoples nerves right away and get kicked out...Zach has Monet, she seems very sweet and innocent, so maybe she will go far in the game!!

I like the boy from Decatur, TX...I have to route for the TX boy for sure! :)

Who are y'all thinking the Saboteur is? I really have no idea...I'm thinking it's something least expected like Kathy, she's a cop-in her 40's, most contestants are already looking up to her as a mom figure, and I think she will be able to get by with being the Saboteur without anyone knowing...not really sure just yet, anxious to find out though!!!

I am excited about this season, and I'd love to hear how many other Big Brother Fans there are out there...tell me who your favorite is, who you think the Saboteur is and so forth!!!


Friday, July 9, 2010

Thank you...

I wanted to thank everyone for their sweet comments, messages and emails about my 'feeling forgotten' post I posted earlier this week. I don't want you to think it was any of y'all b/c it wasn't...it's more family than anything, and a few personal friends...

But I wanted to thank you all for your support, your prayers and friendship! Infertility is such a hard journey to go through and I'm blessed to have each one of y'all by my side!

Thank you again for all your encouraging words and making me feel like my post wasn't a pitty party or a debbie downer post (although I feel it was-ha!)!!! Y'all are all truly great people!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY and Love y'all!! :)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

4th of July Weekend

Zach and I had a mini' 4 day vacation this weekend, we both took Friday and Monday off--a much needed mini' vacation...

We started by going out with some of our best friends, Ashley and James, to a family lakehouse to enjoy the 4th...they cooked out and had an amazing firework show that night! We battled the weather the whole way there...but thankfully Hurricane Alex gave us a little break once we arrived.

On the 4th Ashley, James and Zach and I headed to the lake to have some Independence Day Fun! Poor James got so sunburned! We had a blast though!!! After we dropped them off at the dock we zoomed over to a house boat where some more of our friends were--we hung out with them for a while (I was having me some Rosie Withdrawals badly) :)...then Zach and I went back out to the middle of the lake before dark to watch fireworks, I have to admit this was by far the most romantic firework show I've ever had! I loved watching the fireworks reflect on the lake--amazing!!!!


Here are a few pictures--and they are all backwards, but you get the gist :)

Rosie and I!

Beautiful sunset before fireworks

Ashley and I

Cheese

Zach mid flip at the lakehouse

Me and Avery snail...love her!

Zach, I and Reesey Poo

All the girls on the 4th!

Love this little girl!
A little bit of hurricane Alex...

Monday, July 5, 2010

Feeling Forgotten


Do you ever feel forgotten?

I do!!!

I feel at times some people forget that I am infertile. Our families and friends used to send us sweet messages, comments, cards just to tell us they were thinking about us and praying for us...and at times I feel like this journey has been going on so long that some people have just given up on us... Don't get me wrong, not all of friends and family have stopped, just some I thought never would...I know 4 years can be a long time to keep reminding someone that you are there for them, and in all honesty I know they ARE still there for us, but it's nice to be reminded...it really does help!

I know deep down in my heart that everyone cares for us and is always thinking and praying for us, and I am sure this post will sound like such a pitty party, I do not intend for it to though. I guess in all honesty I am just feeling down today and out of all days I need our families and friends to reach out to us, I just want to feel remembered...to be 100 % honest my feelings are a little hurt.

I just feel a little forgotten...this year has been hard so far in our infertility journey...I feel like I am back peddling a little bit. I feel anything BUT strong. As I watch my family and friends announce there pregnancies, jump for joy at the first kick, celebrate at the baby shower and birthday parties...I sit with a empty place in my heart and my arms. Although I am really happy for them, I am hurting inside at the fact we are on year 4 and still haven't been pregnant one time. I try more than anything to be strong and keep the smile on my face, but the truth is my heart is aching.

Sometimes I want to stand on the rooftop and shout 'I'M STILL INFERTILE YOU KNOW??'

I meet someone this weekend who tried for 5 years to get pregnant, she told me...'You will get pregnant...I know you feel like you won't but you will'.... but will I? I can't even envision myself pregnant anymore...I used to could, but after 4 years it seems impossible. I KNOW nothing is impossible with God, and I have faith that my husband and I were placed on this journey for a reason...

My heart feels so lonely at times, I sadly cradle my little dog like a child and tears just run down my face as I think 'will this be my only shot at being a mom?' I love my little 4 legged kidos, but they can't begin to fulfill this emptiness in my heart. I want to be a mother more than I could possibly explain...

If you made it though this post, thank you for listening to me ramble. It helps me at times...I apologize for such a debbie downer post...just have alot of things on my mind!

Thank you all for being so great-means so very much to us!




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