Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Pifer Life

Count Down With The Pifers

10 days until we open the next chapter of our lives— excited…nervous…anxious...


Family Updates

Zach-he is still feeling great--they said by the 14th of July he will either be completely done with physical therapy or only going one time a day…he had another follow up appt today; the Dr. said that everything looks amazing...Praise God!!!

Mom-she is doing okay...still going through a very depressed phase right now so if you could all continue to pray for strength for her to get through this- that would be amazing! She has overcome so much and I know she will be able to overcome this!

Me-Still attending boot camp-which I’m still loving! We are finally seeing results- which makes all the hard work worth it!!! I started my first birth control pill yesterday and I got extremely sick :( I remember back when I was on birth control years ago I went through a very sick stage—about the first week (I guess it’s all the hormone changes!?), so this isn’t a shock that I am feeling bad now…but it’s not fun! So please say a tiny prayer that it doesn’t stick around too long…



Questions for Zach are still being taken as this post had to be delayed, so good news-if you haven't asked him a question, you still have time. He has seen some of the question and is excited about expressing his feelings on a lot of things. You can leave your question in the comments here or email me.

Changes are coming soon---I am still working on that post-it’s not an easy one to type up, so stay tuned.


Big events over the weekend…

Saturday night we went to an Aaron Watson concert with our friends, Rosemary, Mindy and Jessica. It was a local concert, which was a live recording for an upcoming album. Tickets were extremely cheap, so it was very hard to pass up. I had a blast hanging out with my girls—at one time we were all on the dance team together in high school; so it was great being able to spend time with everyone. Here are a few pictures from the weekend (these are the only ones I took with my camera, when Rosemary post hers I will steal them!)

Me and Rosemary

Mindy and I

Me and Rosemary

Me and My honey

Monday, June 29, 2009

Urgent Dr Vist-With Unexpected Results

This post is not for the squeamish. I normally try to “avoid” details of certain things, however there is no way around this one…so skip forward if you want to “avoid” details (although I will do my best to do so…)

Every since I’ve been on Clomid I tend to have very short cycles…a “normal” (and I use that word lightly)…cycle is every 19-24 days for me. Most women on Clomid have longer cycles; I on the other hand fall in the small group of women who have very short cycles.

Well on the 14th of June I started my cycle—it was like a normal (again I use that word lightly) cycle…however it never stopped… today is day 15 and I am still bleeding. Last night I passed several large (huge is more like it) clots and after 15 days my bleeding was getting worse. ((keep in mind I called my regular OBGYN last week and due to the fact my bleeding was light they were not concerned))….well now the bleeding was picking up, I was feeling sick, and my cramps were horrible.

Of course miscarriage was the first thing I could think of, however being someone who takes pregnancy test “a lot” I knew I wasn’t pregnant…but there was that thought in the back of my head “just maybe…maybe somehow I was”…

So first thing this morning I called my Dr. and of course they said it was urgent that I come in, they worked me right in-and as soon as I got to work I was leaving work to go to see them. I had an ultrasound (which seemed like eternity) then some blood work to re-check several of my levels…and then in to talk to my Dr.

Good news, my uterus seemed fine, my lining was extremely thin (0.12- which they said they think my bleeding will stop soon). However due to my PCOS my ovaries were extremely inflamed with cyst; which in return was/is causing my abnormal bleeding. Which they were very concerned about.

My Dr. said we needed to get this taken care of as soon as possible, they said we need to “stop all activity” of my ovaries for at least a month. Yes you guessed it… “birth control” ~> as most know, I am anti’ birth control. I was told this is what caused me to have severe border line cancer with my dysplasia due to being on birth control for so long, so in result of being told that I am severely scared of being on it again. Yes-this is a different brand (Yaz for those who are wondering) and yes I will only be on for a couple months at the max…but still a very scary-emotional thing for myself and my husband. But we know this is what needs to happen

Well my first response was “is this going to interfere with any of my fertility clinic test on the 10th?”…they told me no, but I was very skeptical; so to insure me they called my RE while I sat there, they told my RE everything that happened…and my RE agreed to put me on there and he will determine when he sees me on the 10th if we will continue it for one more month or stop after one session of birth control.

It’s been a very emotional and stressful few days for Zach and me…if you can all just keep us in your prayers, pray that this birth control does its duty, pray that my levels that there rechecking today be the same or even better…and please pray for strength to get us through these next couple weeks.

God doesn’t give you more than you can handle…at times I wish he didn’t trust me so much. I do trust him and I am trying my very hardest to lean on him throughout all of this. God has a plan; a special plan—a plan that only he knows…I have Faith; that’s all I can have…he is in charge of the rest.

(Pifer Life, might be up later today…or later this week, as well as some changes that are taking place and weekend pictures…I apologize for the lack of updates but things have been pretty crazy the past few days.)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Giveaway Winners

Veronica at Hooked On You and Julie at Sweet T Designs {yes-she changed her name this past week, and I love the name that she picked...fits perfectly!!!} ...well ladies I just want to say a HUGE thank you for everything you have done for me and for helping with this giveaway...I appreciate it more than ya'll will ever know!

Now-I know ya'll are all waiting to see who won-but before I tell you, let me just start by saying THANKS to all of you! This was one of our biggest Giveaways and you all made that possible...thank you all for participating...thank you all for your sweet comments...your emails...cards...calls...and mostly thank you for your prayers!

NOW-what you have all been waiting for.....

Kami-Congratulations sweetie!!!! Both Veronica and Julie will be getting with you shortly!!!!

Let me just tell you something about Kami--this lady is one of the strongest and sweetest ladies I know. She recently had her 2nd IVF, after the disapointment from the 1st she kept going strong--God is amazing and she now is pregnant with 2 miracle babies...so Kami, when I was looking for a way to capture your "name" that I pulled out...I found this plack that I have and it fit perfectly..."Miracles happen to those who believe in them" (so true!!)....Kami, you are a true inspiration to me and many other women...anything is possible with God!!! For those who haven't been to Kami's blog you should hop over here and check it out and please keep her in your prayers that she continues to have a very happy and healthy pregnancy!

Thank you again to everyone who participated this week!!! Your support means more than you will ever know!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Rainbows After the Storm

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true…”

I’m sure you have heard this song on several occasions. I’ve personally always loved this song, but here lately this song has a whole new meaning. I look at “Rainbows” in a whole new light. Rainbows mostly come after a rainstorm. Rainbows are beautiful, majestic, and most refer to rainbows as having the classic “pot of gold” at the end. When I was little I remember asking my mom many of times to just keep driving because I wanted to see this pot of gold.

Many of people want this “pot of gold" or the“rainbow”…very little people want to go through the actual storm that produces these rainbows. But with all honesty, most storms are not fun—so it’s very hard to pay any appreciation to the actual storm and only to the rainbow. One often enjoys the rainbow while forgetting the forces that made it. It’ hard to look up rather than down when it’s pouring down on us

Life is a lot like “rain and rainbows”…we all have our own individual storms…some are heavier than others, some last days…some last seconds…but we all have some type of rainbow after these storms. Without the rain-there would be no rainbow—we need both “happy” sun and “tearful” rains to make all the beautiful colors appear.

We may walk…run…fall…stumble…drive or fly…but let us never lose sight of the reason for this journey. Struggles are not easy, only God knows what lies ahead but he does have a purpose for all his actions…don’t miss a chance to see the rainbow on the way.

Today I look at rainbows differently; I appreciate the struggles and this journey in life in a whole new light. God has something beautiful in store for my husband and I -as well as all of you. I can not wait till I get to experience my own personal rainbow, however I will never lose site at the journey that we took that led us to our rainbow.

May God give you, for every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every struggle life sends-someone faithful to share and an answer for each prayer. Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come shining through. No matter what the grievance, if we keep believing, the dream that we wish will eventually come true.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Picture Overload

Here are some pictures from this weekend...as well as a
special bonus picture at the bottom I am finally able to post...

Zach-Me and Matt

Me and My honey

Us again

Me and Matthew

Kevin Fowler

And again...

Me, Kevin Fowler and Zach

Matt and Kevin

Me and Kevin


And here is the nice boot camp before and after shots....It might not look like a different, but I promise you it's a HUGE difference--you can click the picture to enlarge it...just one thing: DONT laugh at my hair!

Change of Plans…

My Fertility Clinic called me—she said that the week of my appt (7-14) My Dr. will be unexpectedly going out of town and she needed to reschedule my appt.

She said “TOMORROW”…all I remember was my eyes opened really huge, filled with tears, my heart stopped...

(just in case your curious of how I looked at that moment...
this is really close--minus looking like a monkey!)

Well I guess I was quiet as a mouse because she said “Mam’ is that to early?”…I mumbled out “Yes mam’ my husband can’t get off that soon… I don’t have my list ready…I can’t do it”. She said “no problem!”

She ended up moving me to July 10th. It’s on a Friday which is so much better for my husband (besides it being week 4 for him—his busy week). It’s only 4 days sooner, but it feels like a lot more than that. She is fitting me into his regular schedule so I asked her a million times “are you sure I will have enough time with him?....I need a lot of time with him??....I have a lot I need to talk about” She said “yes mam’…I promise you will get a lot of time with him”.

I am excited, but nervous all in one. I am recovering from my mini’ heart attack of thinking we would have to go tomorrow…I am just not prepared enough for tomorrow. I have a list. It’s not ready…I haven’t printed out all my charts…or anything. Tomorrow just wasn’t going to work…so I am very relieved to know that I still have a couple weeks! A little over 2 to be exact. We can do this…I am ready—I think.

“Breath Tiffany…Breath!”

Honest Scrap Award

(I apologize that I still haven’t uploaded pictures—after boot camp was over last night I went home, took a shower, ate a salad and perched up on my couch to watch the very sad Jon and Kate plus 8. I saw it coming, but hoped it wasn’t true. I really loved that show, and I was very disappointed…anyways, I was going to upload pictures last night—but never got around to it. I will try to do it tonight, but no guarantee as we have to go to a friend’s house tonight for dinner—I promise soon you will get an over loaded post of just pictures)

For now I received an award!!!

The sweet Courtney over at Growing the Yerkes Family has awarded me with this amazing “Honest Scrap” award.

Here are the Honest Scrap stipulations:

1. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find interesting and engaging

2. Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog and leave a comment informing them that they have won the "Honest Scrap Award"

3. List at least 10 honest things about yourself


Here is the list of blogs that I am awarding for their honest and truly inspiring posts:

I pick all of you who read this! I know—sorry, but I just can’t pick “only” 7…you all are amazing and all deserve this! SO, if you read this…it’s yours :)


10 honest things about me:

1. I can not wink. Zach tries to teach me, but it’s impossible…my eyes just get all squinted, so when he winks at me, I normally just bat my eyes and he knows that means “I’m winking back”.

2. I get my feelings hurt extremely easy; I am very softhearted, I let people walk all over me and I forgive people to easily…when I try to stand up for myself I do it in such a nice way so others don’t take me seriously; I hate confrontations and hate drama…

3. I've become extremely OCD when it comes to packing for a trip. I make a checklist no matter how small or large the trip, I have to take one of every type of outfit…even if were going somewhere hot I will have one pair of winter clothes because you never know what could happen…I pack “everything”…seriously everything!

4. Infertility is a huge part of my life. It does not define my husband and me; but it’s our life as of right now—we are thankful for this situation. Although this has been a very long and tiring and stressful journey-- it’s a journey that we are thankful for as it has taught us so much about ourselves and our relationship with each other and with God.

5. I can not stand to be judged or when others judge people. I know it happens, it’s very sad…but I truly believe the only one who should judge is God and God alone. It’s not my place to judge you nor yours to judge me…this goes back to my feelings and being softhearted because it seriously kills me when I hear of others judging myself or others.

6. I write myself “to do notes” on postie notes throughout the day. This includes things I need to do, or things I need to talk to someone about. If I don’t write it down I will forget it as my mind is in a million and one places right now.

7. Out of the past 3 years of us trying to conceive, the past 5-6 months have probably been some of the hardest-as far as emotional, this Mothers day and Fathers day were one of the most emotional days. I believe this stems from us not being able to do anything with fertility meds but 2 cycles out of this year—we don’t like “not” trying.

8. Church is a huge part of our lives, it took us years before we found a church where we could call home. We love our church family and love the Pastor and his messages. Most days I feel as though he is talking directly to us as some of the messages are exactly how we feel.

9. I check my alarm clock at least 10 times at night before I go to bed. I am very anal about being late to work or late anywhere, I’m either on time or early. Sometimes when Zach wakes up I will even wake up and re-check my alarm to make sure it’s still on.

10. I can not wait until the day that God blesses us with a miracle. I can not wait to experiences all of the things brought on by parenthood. Sometimes I lay in bed at night after my prayers and I think of different ways to tell my husband, our family, our friends, and ya’ll of how we are finally pregnant. Zach and I often talk about our future kids, there names, there room decorations, how we will raise them and so forth. I can’t wait to see the look in his eyes the day I am able to tell him we are pregnant. Some people dream of being a lawyer, some dream of being a teacher…or a cop…or a doctor…we dream of being parents. That my friend is the honest truth!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Pifer Life

Count Down With The Pifers

22 days until we open the next chapter of our lives—I’m getting excited; but still very nervous!!


Family Updates
Zach-his physical therapist was tough on him Friday-so he was sore this weekend, but nothing major. He is still doing amazing; Thank God!!!

Mom-she is still doing good...she is going through a very depressed phase right now so if you could all continue to pray for strength for her to get through this that would be amazing! I found out this past weekend that her depression is normal; it’s a side effect from her brain surgery. I don’t know all the details of why that happens, but I am glad to know it’s normal…hopefully it will be gone soon…she has overcome so much and I know she will be able to overcome this!

Me-I survived week one of boot camp (phew!). No lie—it was very tough!!! Day one they started us off with running 5 laps, which equaled a mile ½; in between every lap we had to do 50 squats and 20 jumping jacks…and that was just our warm up…it’s worth it though. I’ve been pretty stressed the past couple weeks and I can’t tell you how good it feels to just run (at the time I feel like I could pass out…and afterwards I can barely move); BUT it releases the majority of my stress which in return has helped me tremendously; so I am very thankful I did this boot camp—and even more thankful I have 2 amazing friends who are doing this with me; talk about a support system! Ashley took pictures of us before and after-I don’t have them with me, but I will try and post them later…you can click here to see them on her page-->just don’t laugh at my hair :) I was a MESS!!!


News and Prayers

This Thursday will be the cut off date for the giveaway for a free blog design by Julies Blog Design and crocheted hat by Veronica. They are so amazing, and both of them are equally as excited about this giveaway as I am…so head over here and see how you can enter this amazing giveaway!

I will probably cut off Questions for Zach later this week and get that post up next week sometime, he has seen some of the question and is excited about expressing his feelings on a lot of things, so if you haven’t emailed me your question for “Mr. Pifer” go ahead and do so…or you can leave it in the comments here.

I have a special prayer request for one of my dear friends Sarah. Her husband Ben is in the navy-yesterday he was sent away for his first deployment, and they are unsure of how long he will be gone. Sarah is beside herself, she is trying to hold it together for her 3 kids; however she is having a hard time with this. Please head over to her blog here, and leave her some support and let her know she has many who are praying for her.

Big events over the weekend…

Friday night when I got out of Boot Camp and Zach was done with PT we headed out to Odessa to spend the weekend with one of our best friends. Matt hasn’t been going down the right path in life to say the least; however I can defiantly say he is heading down a different road. I am extremely proud of him. He is like a brother to me, and I’ve never been so excited to see how well he is doing. He is working two jobs, has a nice little apartment of his own, and is enrolled in the Jr. College in Odessa. When we arrived in Odessa (at 3am-I was exhausted) we sat up till around 4:30 talking to Matt, I couldn’t get over how amazing he looked and how happy he was-it brought tears to my eyes, happy tears that is. I am very proud of him! We finally crashed then woke up early, and Matt toured us around his new little town that he calls home now. Later that night, Matt had something in store for us…we knew that Kevin Fowler would be playing there but didn’t know if we would be able to go or not—well Matt surprised us with tickets, keep in mind this is the same Matt who never had any money to his name because he spent it on items that he didn’t need-well now he had all his ducks in a row—so he surprised us with tickets. Matt’s mother and I pushed our way to the very front of the stage before Kevin came on to take some great pictures, then we headed back to Zach, Matt and Matt’s stepdad. One of the backstage guys knew Zach and Matt and they started talking for awhile. After awhile of talking the guy said “follow me”…so we all started following him and low and behold he took us BACKSTAGE. I was like a little girl in a candy shop fixing to meet Kevin Fowler…we stayed backstage for hours just talking and hanging out with Fowler and the band, it was amazing. After a long “extremely fun” night we headed back to Matt’s and crashed. The next morning was sad having to leave Matt, I gave him my little “momma-sister-friend type pep talk” and gave him a huge hug, told him how proud of him I was and that I loved him. He had tears in his eyes and said “Tiffany-I’m going to be ok…I know it now”, and you know whatI know he will be ok now as well. We don’t know what our future holds, we don’t know what path God will take us down…but we do now with love-support from friends-and prayers God will guide us in the right direction!

I have TONS of pictures to post from this weekend and tons of Kevin Fowler—however there all at home, so there will be a separate post of just pictures coming up soon, hopefully tonight, so make sure you check back! :)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Something Different and Fun

Many have suggested and asked if Zach would be willing to do a Q & A post; I have done a couple; however I guess all of ya’ll want to get to know my honey a little more now… :) After several emails asking- Zach has agreed to do this. So ask away!!! Anything you want my honey to answer feel free to leave it in a comment or send it via email to tapifer@grandecom.net!!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I haven’t posted many of these giveaways on my personal blog since a separate fundraiser blog was created. However these 2 ladies have been there for me throughout the past couple months and are very near and dear to me.

There will be 1 winner this week, however this one blessed person will get 2 amazing items.

I met Veronica a few months back, she makes some of the most adorable hats I’ve ever seen and on top of that there all hand made with love. She is an extremely sweet and caring lady and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to have had the chance to meet her. The winner will be able to choose between either of the two girl style hats that she crochets-The Ribbed Beanie or the Basic Beanie with Ruffles. The winner will also get to select the size and colors that they’d like the hat to be made in. She is also giving “everyone” a chance for an amazing discount…if anyone purchases a hat and tells them that the Pifer Bean Clan sent them over you will automatically receive a 15% discount off your purchase!!! Check out some of the hats she has made by clicking here.…Thank you Veronica for everything--you are so sweet!!

I also met Julie a while back throughout this crazy blog world. She to has been there for me throughout these past few months and has shown me the most amazing kindness with her sweet emails and comments. She totally “fancy-fid” my blog—Julie is awesome, she will works with your blog design until you are 100% happy. She is giving away a Basic Blog Donation, the winner will only need to purchase the digital scrapbook kit of there choice. Julie is not only an amazing friend, but an amazing woman to work with, click here to see some of the blogs she has done!! Thank you too Julie for being an amazing friend!

These two sweet ladies have uplifted my spirits on more than one occasion, these sweet women have helped me in more ways than I could explain and I am honored to have them be apart of this giveaway AND my life!

Ashley has tweaked the numbers a little on the below so that MORE people could have a greater chance to get into and win this giveaway!!!
I can’t wait to see who wins….

All you have to do to get entered is...
* For every $1.00 donated/or purchasing an item your name will be entered 1 time

* For every comment left you get 1 entree into the raffle!

* For every re-post you get 5 entrees into the raffle -> however you will have to leave a comment or send an email telling us you did this, that away we can make sure we put your name in the drawling!!

* For every picture sent into Ashley showing your “Pifer Support”, you will get your name entered in 10 times.

All entries must be in by Thursday, June 25th at 12:00 p.m.
Winners will be announced Friday June 26th.

Thank you for all your help, support, love and prayers!!!!
Good luck :)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

10 Years Ago...

10 years ago our worries consisted of which boy we liked…which boy liked us…what we were doing on the weekend. 10 years ago we supported each other throughout all our hard times, the breakups…the crushes…studying for test...being grounded…all of the normal “high school struggles”.

10 years later, today, our worries consist of the next fertility treatment…will we be the only one at our high school reunion that doesn’t have a child…will we make it to the parenthood chapter in our lives? 10 years later, today, we support each other throughout all our hard times, the negative pregnancy test, the dreaded AF, the progesterone levels, the hard symptoms of Clomid….all of the normal “trying to conceive struggles”.

10 years ago, Rosemary and myself started this notebook…

We wrote back in forth in the notebook exchanging it daily. I never realized how much of an impact that notebook would have on me 10 years later…this past weekend she brought me something to read, it was the notebook. She still had it! We read though some of it together and laughed so hard at how dramatic we were about things…about how serious we took these “high school boyfriends”. I took the book home that night and stayed up reading the whole thing.

We changed a lot in 10 years, we grew up, got married to amazing men…but one thing remains the same, our support system and our friendship.

10 years ago if you asked us if we would be in the “same” situation 10 years later we would have laughed. God knew what he was doing when he gave us infertility-he knew that with each other by our sides we can get through this. Rosemary supported me and has been that shoulder I needed to cry on more than I can count throughout my life. It’s bittersweet that she is by my side now. I am extremely happy that I can confide in her and she can understand my feelings; however I’m tremendously sad she too is going through this journey.

This past weekend while reading our notebook I was flooded with so many emotions—thank you Rosie for saving that; we have been through so much together and we will get through this as well :) Love you!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Pifer Life

Count Down With The Pifers

"hours" till boot camp starts

6 days until another dreaded father’s day--(We went to pick up Fathers Day cards yesterday and when we walked over there Zach sighed really heavy...I said "Are you ok?" he said "Yea-just sad"....this isn't only hard for myself, it's very hard for my husband as well as other infertility husbands...so please keep all the men in your prayers as we near this day.)

29 days until the next chapter of our lives...our FIRST fertility clinic appt—I'm totally not counting though! ;)


Family Updates

Zach-is still doing amazing-his PT might even be moved to just one day a week; which he is ready and excited for. She tested his knee last Friday and said his tendon is growing just the way it needs to be--praise God!!!

Mom-she is still doing good...she is going through a very depressed phase right now so if you could all continue to pray for strength for her to get through this that would be amazing! She has overcome so much and I know she will be able to overcome this!

Me-I had my first jury duty today-and I have to go back again Thursday morning...fun fun!! My emotions have pretty much been everywhere the last couple days, so please pray that these next 29 days go smoothly. :)


Big events over the weekend…

We didn't really have any big events over the weekend. Friday Zach and I watched the Penguins and Red wings battle it off in the Stanley Cup--the Penguins pulled it off and I can't tell you how excited my husband was. Saturday we woke up and cleaned a little, laid out in our pool--it was about 100 degrees everyday this weekend--hot hot hot TX weather! Saturday night we headed to Rosie and Dereks house for a BBQ. Amazingly sweet people; she too has been diagnosed with unexplained infertility--if you haven't been to her blog, you should def. head over and met her. I think we talked about everything under the sun Saturday night. Sunday I woke up with a horrible headache, so we didn't make it to church-we took it easy all morning, then ran a few errands then back home....

I never had my camera by me when I needed it this weekend-so I apologize for the lack of pictures...I did take this one of my sweet little Ginger Baby...

isn't she just the cutest ever?


Saturday, June 13, 2009

Next Chapter

Before I know it I'll be writing the "one week away" post....time has truly flown by; I can't believe that in exactly one month Zach and I will officially be entering into the next chapter of our lives...
The book of life is so unpredictable...the answers are not in the back of the book; nor does it give you that wanted index to let you know what to expect next. Throughout the book of life you have to trust in the Lord, not knowing what the next chapter will be or what the next chapter will hold, however you just have to have Faith that he will guide you through that chapter in life. Some chapters come easy, some don't...some chapters are over in seconds...some take years...it's taken me 3 years and 3 months to get to this chapter.

As the days go by we get more and more anxious; but with that anxiousness comes excitement. We are ready for answers...we are ready to be parents...so even though you will hear me talk about being scared, please know we are thrilled...just nervous as we don't know what this chapter holds for us.

God has a plan, he is with us on this journey-as throughout every chapter in our life. I know that with time this chapter will be over and I pray parenthood is next in line.

God says trust him...and that's what I am doing, trusting him with every ounce in my body...having as much faith as one can possibly have, and letting him guide us through this.

I am very honored and blessed to have each one of you by my side throughout this journey-the past couple days I have received some extremely sweet email and cards showing your support which I need so much right now. Thank you for caring so much, thank you for the success stories...the prayers, the encouragement. THANK YOU! This next chapter will be a fun, wild, crazy, and emotional ride....I'm ready...are you?

Friday, June 12, 2009

Little Future Pifer Bean

You, my love are so very special to me. As I type this God is up there creating you for your daddy and I. One day I will get the news that God has placed you in our lives and honey, please know I can’t wait for that day. I’ve never known that you could love something so much that you can’t even say you “for sure” have yet-you are non-existent as of now (in real life that is), but please know in our hearts you do exist and we know that when God is ready, he will bless us with you. Your daddy and I are doing everything in our ability to get you here—there are hundreds of people praying for you; there are so many people whom have helped us in many ways throughout this journey to get you here. I hope one day you can look back, read this and know just how important you are to not only your mommy and daddy-but to so many people. As for now, I will continue to pray for you and pray that our meeting time comes sooner than later.

We will meet my love-in God’s timing-
Your Future Mommy

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Questions about the “dreaded F word”

This Sunday will be one month until I head to Austin, TX for our 1st fertility clinic visit…I am starting to prepare my “things”, and by things I mean get all my questions in order. If you know me in real life, you know that I am an organized person—esp. when it comes to things like these...well there are probably a million and one questions I want to go over with my RE, however I don’t know which ones are “more important” and on top of that, my mind is pretty much gone blank. I think the thought of the “dreaded F word” is really starting to get my nerves all crazy!

So can you all please help me…most of you have been in this situation, most of you already are seeing an RE, can you please tell me what all questions I really need to be asking this day. This will be a huge consultation and I want to make sure when I leave I feel like things are going in the right direction, so please help me and give me your input…

You can email your question to me at tapifer@grandecom.net or you can put them in the comments—closer to the date I will post my list of questions—that away ya’ll will be able to tell me if anything has been left off.

I really appreciate y’alls help with this—I appreciate all the sweet emails, cards and so forth. Y’alls sweet comments help me get through the nerve racking days and you will never know how grateful I am for ya’ll.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Pifer Life--Something New?

FIRST--Thank you all so much for your post on "Calling All Readers". I have loved getting to read all of them--if you haven't posted over there please do so...no lurkers allowed for that post...all must comment--ha :)


K-Now to "Pifer Life"

I am going to try to do this every Monday to keep ya’ll updated on my life. I will post countdowns-- (some weeks I may have more than others…some weeks there may be nothing worth counting down)…I am also going to give ya’ll weekly updates on my family (and soon I promise you will get fertility clinic updates on myself). Also if anything interesting happened over the weekend I will post a little about this as well—with pics of course, because post with pictures are just so much better!


Count Down With The Pifers

days till boot camp starts

7 days till my whining begins…ha!

7 days till my very first jury duty—oh joy!!

13 days until another dreaded father’s day

36 days until our FIRST fertility clinic appt—but again whose really counting!?!

39 days till boot camp is over and I am hopefully toned up!!


Family Updates

Zach-still healing amazing! He still has pain every now and then, but overall he is doing great! He is still going to physical therapy two times a week and they said that in about 2 weeks that will move down to one time a week. GOD IS GREAT!!!!

Mom-mom is doing good, WALKING which in itself is a miracle! For those that are new you can read here to catch up about my mom. Physical therapy does hurt her, but she is trusting in our Lord and with Faith she will get over this mountain. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!!



Don’t forget to send Ash ANY prayer request you might have for this weeks “Thinking of you Thursday”…send to piferbeanfund@yahoo.com so that we can pray for you and your loved ones!! NO prayer is “too” tiny—a sweet friend of mine told me she didn’t want us to post her prayer because it wasn’t “severe” enough…NOT TRUE. We want to pray for anyone who is in need of prayers, no matter how big or how small!!!

Also…if you haven’t seen what amazing items are in the giveaway this week-click here for more details.


Big events over the weekend…

My friend Ashley’s little girl turned the BIG ONE! Haidyn is just a little cutie pie- and I loved seeing her cute little face as well as getting to hang out with friends Saturday! Here are a few pictures from her big day.

She loved her cake!
What a cutie!!
Audree-My Goddaughter---------------------
Avery-playing in the water...
Ashley and I---------------------
Me-Audree and her mom...
Me and my honey...notice his "shorter" hair...
Zach and Charlie->this picture brings tears to my eyes...
I know he will be an amazing daddy one day!



Do you like this idea of “Pifer Life” for Mondays---or not so much?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Calling ALL Readers

So many of you have left me sweet comments, have sent me your success story or very inspirational emails, so many have sent me a beautiful card that has really uplifted my spirits in ways I can not express. So many have totally amazed me by your thoughtfulness!!!

NOW I want to know about YOU! You all know pretty much everything there is to know about me—if you don’t know...just ask :)….but now I want to know about youwhat is your storywhere are you fromwhat is your blog link so I can go and read your blog…what brings you to my blogtell me about yourself!!!

SO, for all you readers that just lurk without commenting, NOW is the time that you come introduce yourselves and comment--- tell me about yourself! Every one of you…I’m “Calling All Readers”….I want to know about YOU!!!

What are you waiting for...I can't wait to read about you!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Feeling Down?

Like I mentioned in this post, I have received some amazing inspirational cards and letters --one of them had me sitting at the post office for about 15 minutes counting my blessings. Sometimes in life we are so wrapped up on our struggles that we fail to count the blessings we do have!

The card read: Feeling Down? Why don't you take a few minutes to make a list of all the good things in your life?-------I'll even help you get started! 1) Somebody thinks the world of me and really cares!

(See card below)

So today I must share with you my list of all the good things in my life--and I would hope after you read mine, you will take a minute and count your blessings as well.

1)-was already given for me- somebody thinks the world of me and really cares ((and for this I am so thankful you--you all are so amazing, and thank you Marsha for reminding me of this!!!!))

Zach-God has truly blessed me with such an amazing husband--he is my soul mate and I really couldn't get through life without him by my side. He is the first person I want to see in the morning and the last person I want to see at night--he is my everything and by far he is one of the greatest things in my life!!!

My family-I can't begin to tell you how wonderful my family is. They are all so supporting and encouraging. They know exactly what to say to put a huge smile on my face--my in laws are extremely amazing as well, I love them like there my own flesh and blood and they treat me as I am there own flesh in blood. God has truly blessed me with an amazing family--even if they pick on me!!! ;)

My friends-WOW, I can't really express how grateful I am for my friends...they have given me such an amazing amount of support and I am amazed that so many do care. You know your friends are always there for you, but when your going through a hard time they really prove that no matter what they "ARE" there, and will always be!! You all are amazing and I thank God for ya'll daily!!!

My 4-legged children- oh my sweet puppy-children. I love them to pieces, I think they are probably one of the most spoiled doggies in the world-ha!! We love taking our little 4-legged children places, seeing there little tails wag when we get home makes us truly feel like they love us as much as we love them!!!!

GOD-I am so thankful that I believe and trust in our Lord and that he trust in me. There are many people who don't have God in there hearts, and although I have always believed in our Lord, I haven't always trusted fully in him like I do now. God has really taught me a lot about my life within the last few years and I am thankful that he has helped guide me through this.

Church-we have finally found a church that we love so much, the atmosphere and the close knit family is amazing, I love the messages and the majority of the time I feel like our pastor is speaking straight to me. I am extremely blessed to have a wonderful church and a great church family.

FAITH-yes Faith is something great in my life, and something I am so thankful for! Faith is one of the main things that has got me through the hard times...my faith has grown so much, and for that I am so thankful for!

Patience- God knew I needed this, and it's something I am so thankful that he gave me. There are a lot of people who do not have this, and I personally don't know how I would get through this without patience. So this as well is something wonderful in my life...

and YOU.... I have to tell you how amazing you all are to me. You all are VERY GREAT people in my life, I pray for you all often daily, I appreciate and read your comments, emails, letters and cards daily...I think God knew I needed ya'll as support to help me and my husband throughout this...I am very grateful for all you amazing blogger! THANK YOU!

A special thank you to all whom have sent me cards and letters-I can't begin to tell you how much they all mean to me. I sometimes read them several times a day, it brings tears (happy tears of course) to my eyes to know that so many truly care. I can't wait to hand these over to my children one day and tell them how many helped me get them here, how many prayed for them, I can't wait to tell them how many loved them before they were even created. THANK YOU--from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!!!


ALSO-don't forget to click here and see who won the amazing body-shapers (which might I add, I want one super bad!!!)--the winner could be YOU :)

Thinking Of You Thursday

I love to be able to pray for those in need--there are several blogs out there that designate there whole blog or certain day as "prayer days"...I can't begin to tell you how amazing this is. It's impossible to follow everyone in this "blog world", however it's amazing to be able to come across some of these blogs and pray for all of the families in need.

Have you see, April Roses Blog---"His Will Wednesday" ? She takes all sorts of prayer request and post them every Wednesday.

What about Safe Haven's blog? She post prayer request almost daily, her blog is solely prayer request and praises.

Also- there is On a Wing and a Prayer; she too post daily and her blog is solely prayer request.

Then theres Tenacious Prayer Time Tuesday....every Tuesday there are certain prayer request added...

I am SO honored and blessed that Ashley has designated a day for "The Pifer Bean Fund Blog" --we now have a prayer request day. Today was there very first "Thinking of you Thursday" Everyone often asks me how they can help me, PRAYER....prayer is the #1 thing that helps everyone, prayer is so amazing. I think it's amazing that so many blogs list prayer request for others in need....please head over here and see all the prayer request that were given today---also please send your prayer request in for next week...

I truly believe in the power of prayer-God is amazing! I been praying night and day of a way that I can help you all, the prayers, the support, the donations, the cards, the messages, emails, phone calls....I can't repay ya'll....I can't explain how much your kindness means to us. I want to help ya'll...I want to be there for ya'll, like ya'll are for me and my husband. I don't know any way better than prayer, so please give me the opportunity to pray for you, your family, your friends...anyone thats in need of prayer that you know. No matter how big or little the struggle in yours or there life, I want to pray for them...I want to give back a little of what you all have given me. PLEASE-head over to this blog...send them an email and let them know your prayer request so that myself and my family and my friends can pray for you! I WOULD BE HONORED! And while your there, please pray for those in need. Some have blogs-some don't....lets lift them up today.

"Lord-give me the grace and opportunity to be active in sharing my faith, so that I will have a full understanding of every good thing that I have inherited in Christ--Lord, please help me share my strength in others and Lord please be with my friends and there families throughout any journey they might be on. Give them guidance oh Lord, tuck them under your wing and give them the much needed courage to inch up there mountain called Life. In Jesus Name-Amen"


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I Have a New Button Code

Due to some issues, I have a new button code…lets just say some “amazing-blessed” issues. :) There has been so many clicks on my button it reached its bandwidth (or something like that…I’m not very computer savvy) But anywho; we had to change up my button code…so please be sure to change it—and can I just WOW!!! HOW AMAZING!!!!!

Also, we have a Pifer Bean Fund Button as well…you can grab it below, or on the actual Pifer Bean Site. And don't forget to head over there and check out the pictures that were posted yesterday-as well as the prayer request that will be posted tomorrow.

A HUGE thank you to everyone-ya’ll never seize to amaze! I wish I could seriously give each one of ya’ll a HUGE hug!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hallelujah, Prayers and Pictures


Are you wanting to know what I am SO excited for??


Well for starters my Hallelujahs:

MY HUSBAND IS WALKING!!!! He is OFF his crutches and I can't begin to tell you how excited I am!!! I can have a "little" break now since he can get up and get his own stuff, drive himself to work, help me around the house---PHEW! BOY did miss my "help" :) ....my help will be limited for a while, but it's still nice to have a teeny break...not to mention, I am extremely excited that he is improving...he is a very slow walker, and has quite a bit to go...BUT he is doing so amazing and I am very proud of him!!!

MOM--is doing amazing...still needs prayers due to some pain, but overall she is improving very well...

I realize I haven't given at update on Poppe (Zach's grandfather) in forever--I apologize--life's been hectic...he is doing pretty much the same, he is happy and comfortable and that's what matters most!


NOW to Prayers:

I have received a few emails asking if I would post prayer request...YES I will, in fact Ash just posted a WONDERFUL blog explaining all about our new "Thinking of You Thursdays"...so head over here, and let us know how we can Pray for YOU.


And last but not least...Pictures:

Ashley has been collecting "Pifer Bean Pictures" head over here to check out some of this weeks pictures and to see who had the most creative picture and won 5 entrees into the raffle...it's quite creative if I say so myself...click here to check it out.

Being Thankful on Tuesday...

It’s always easy to be thankful, but at certain times it can be hard to let go of what you’re yearning for and step back and count those blessings you already have-there will always be that one “something” that you want more than anything in the world that you don’t have “yet”…in my case it’s a precious “Pifer Bean”.

During those times I tell myself over and over to be thankful that we don’t have everything we desire-because if I did, what would there be to look forward to? Waiting gives me the opportunity to learn. Difficult times gives me the ability to grow; limitations gives me opportunities for improvement—and new challenges help build my strength and character. A life of fulfillment comes to those who are thankful for the setbacks that God places in there lives…however at times it’s hard to be thankful for those setbacks; at times I don’t want those setbacks...however, I know in my heart that gratitude can turn negative into positive and I always try my best to be thankful for my troubles as they can become blessings.

But being human I often ask myself… “why”…or “I’ve grown enoughhaven’t I?” I know this journey isn’t over until our Lord says it’s over…I know that I have learned so much and I am forever grateful for how this situation has changed my life—but to be honest, I’m ready for this journey to be over.

So on this Tuesday, instead of dwelling on why I am still on this journey, I am doing my best to be thankful for this journey. I know that God has a purpose and I trust in him to the fullest extent. No matter the length of time it takes for our dreams and prayers to come true, God IS with us…and like I’ve said many of times, baby or no baby; God has truly blessed our lives—in so many aspects.

SO THANK YOU GOD-for my parents, my friends, my family, my husband, my four legged children…THANK YOU GOD for my struggles, my heartaches, my tears, my fears, my anger….THANK YOU GOD for helping me grow, for giving me strength, for give me guidance, for showing me how to “grow”…THANK YOU GOD for my happiness, my faith, my support….THANK YOU GOD for trusting in me and seeing something that I, myself couldn’t seeTHANK YOU GOD for knowing that I CAN be strong enough to go through this, and for teaching me that with Faith I can soar any mountain

What are you thankful for?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Ask and Tell

You Asked....I told....

(All you wanted to know...and more)

Exactly what all fertility meds have you been on?
Clomid 50mg-200mg; Femara, Metformin and Fortamet (they are pretty much the same thing, ones just the generic brand, but sometimes they act differently depending on the person…)

The other day you said you received a hateful comment/email; I can’t believe people would be so hateful-Do you mind sharing as to what did they say?
I don’t want to go into full details because I don’t want them to give them “credit” for being mentioned on my blog…but I will address one question that they asked in there letter-see question/answer below…

Do you think you are “begging” for a child?
The ONLY thing I am begging for is PRAYERS, if your heart leads you to wanting to help my family by donation that is completely up to you. I have some pretty amazing friends who have seen the fear in our eyes due to the cost of infertility treatments, these ladies have and are setting up some amazing fundraisers for Zach and I. I wish I wasn’t in the situation for them to even think about this, I wish I could get pregnant so easily and fast like some, however God choose me to go down this special path in life and I am thankful that I have close friends who are willing to help me and my husband throughout this…and when I say help I mean prayers, love, support, donations, cards…everything!

That leads me to this question…

“Can I just send you cards showing my support?”
Going to our P.O box and pulling out a card that has a beautiful prayer in it lights up my day, I’ve also received a few cards of how I have changed people’s visions of life and God—amazing! I can’t believe my husband, I and this journey were going down have impacted peoples lives so much. Somehow when I read that it makes me think that’s “my” purpose of going down this “infertility journey”. Just being able to help some get through this means the world to me…being able to help one more person have a little more Faith makes this journey worth that much more…

When was your turning point in infertility, where you went from negative to positive?
I remember I was such a bitter person, I would see so many pregnant…and slowly it seemed the majority of my friends would pop-up pregnant-most without trying or if they tried it wasn’t for very long. It seemed with every new pregnancy announcement I became more and more bitter…day by day I cried myself to sleep longer and harder…I remember being one of the most negative people. I’ll never forget one of my worst nights, I screamed at God, yelled at him, asked him “WHY”… “WHY ME?”…I want to be a mother and he won’t give me a baby, but he will give a druggie a baby….WHY???? I cried until my eyes were swollen and screamed until my throat was sore. That next morning I woke up with a new attitude, it’s what I call “a sense of calmness” I felt that God has his arms around me; I seriously “over night” went from being negative to being positive…I knew from that moment that God was with me on this journey, that he wasn’t punishing me and that I was going down this road for a reason. Day by day this journey has gotten easier, day by day my faith grows stronger…day by day I learn to trust him and lean on him more and day by day I inch up my “mountain”.

How can I have more faith and be more positive?
My only advice is to pray, try to set all your fears in God’s hands-if you “let” him-he WILL guide you through this journey, but you have to let him! When you can trust in God to the full extent, then your Faith WILL grow!

Will you adopt?
Zach and I will be parents one day, it does not take a pregnancy to be a mommy and a daddy so if that time comes and we can’t conceive our own, yes we will.

When will you stop trying and adopt?
I don’t think there is a “For sure” answer…I don’t think I will ever “stop” trying even if we do adopt. We have “discussed” that if we have to have IVF and it doesn’t take that we will most likely start saving for adoption due to my ins. not covering any bit of IVF and where I will be going it will be near 20K; however that isn’t set in stone and were pretty much taking it day by day and praying for guidance from our Lord…

I’d like to know a couple of your favorites…color…flower…animal…quote?
Color- PINK for sure!!!
Flower-it’s a toss up between a rose and a lily
Animal-dog as a pet, monkey because there ohh-soo cute!
Quote-my mom used to tell me “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” so that will always be a favorite of mine; but “Without Faith nothing is possible, with it nothing is impossible” is the quote I have hanging by my desk and I read daily-which keeps me going!

Why Faith? Why not Hope or Love or Trust…whats so “special” about Faith?
I wouldn’t say Faith is anymore “special” that Hope, Love or Trust or any of the above…Faith is just the one thing that has stuck from the beginning and helped me “grow”…Faith is what has helped my “hope-love and trust” grow…Faith is “knowing” that God has a special plan in store…Faith is “trusting”…Faith is “loving”….Faith is “hoping”… to others Faith is just a beautiful word/name…to me it’s my “rock” and it keeps me going strong.

What fertility clinic will you be going to?
Texas Ferility Center in Austin, TX---here is there site: http://www.txfertility.com/

Do you advertise for boutiques businesses?
Yes-in fact I already I’m. On the left side tool bar is a list of sponsor who are donating to the Pifer Bean Raffle; there are quite a bit so it’s scrolling, but I would encourage you all to go check them out, as they all have wonderful products. Also-if you want to be a sponsor; just email Ash at piferbeanfund@yahoo.com for details.
Can I send you prayer request for you to post on your page-I know some will post but others won't?
I don't mind posting, in fact I would love to help in way I can. However if there is a huge amount of request that I get I will have to do a little here and a little there...all I ask is when you send this to me, you email them and you title them prayer request so that I can keep up with them :)

Your hair is different in every picture-do you have a favorite style?
As you can tell by my pictures I pretty much change my hair at least twice a year-I get bored easily with it…my favorite is my “bob”. I love this hairstyle; it’s extremely easy and “fun”. I love it long too, but I always tend to just throw it up in a ponytail vs. fixing it.

How does your husband/family feel about your blog?
My husband was more less shocked that so many people cared for us. Like I’ve mentioned before my blog was strictly for Parents, Grandparents, Cousins, Aunts and Uncles. This was easier to update everyone on Dr’s appointments vs. having to call them every time. As you can see I’ve pretty much always been open with my infertility, so calling to update people was very important to me…however it was getting to a point where I’d forget who I called ~> I blame that on Clomid though! Well back to the question….he is thrilled that so many people care, he is amazed and very blessed and thankful…my family is as well.

You will tell us when you’re pregnant right?
Of course!!!! However due to the amount of family that reads my blog, I most likely will not tell ya’ll as soon as I find out ~> sorry, but after 3+ years I have about a billion ways of telling my husband and family that a lil’ Pifer Bean is on it’s way, and I don’t want them to read the news off the internet before I’m able to give them the good news….BUT I PROMISE, as soon as I’ve told them, I will tell ya’ll :)

How come it’s taken you 3 years to go to a fertility clinic, don’t most Dr’s tell you to go after 6 months to a year?
I was advised then to go to a fertility clinic, in fact I was advised MANY times to go to a fertility clinic. However it’s take me 3 + years for US to “want” to go…and to tell you the truth, we still aren’t 100% ready, I guess you never are though. My Dr. never turned me away though, he would always tell me, you need to go to a fertility clinic, but we can try this and that and it just might work…I always had that “hope”, I think my hope was more wishing though. Like I’ve stated many times, this is a step we were not ready to take. The procedures didn’t scare me, the blood work, the medicines, the shots…those are fine…the drive scared me for a while but I am past that. But the money scares me to pieces! I do NOT understand why all ins. don’t cover infertility; it’s not my fault that I am infertile.

Do people tell you all the time that you have helped them? Because you have really changed my outlooks on life, how can I help you?
Hearing you and others tell me how I changed your life is more help than anything. You see I am just a small town girl from the south. There isn’t anything special about me, I don’t live in the biggest of houses, I don’t drive the most expensive vehicle, I don’t have the highest paid job…I’m just your ordinary girl who goes to work everyday, church on Sundays and writes her feelings on this blog…sometimes I wonder how my “boring” life has changed so many peoples lives, or how my husband and myself are what you call an “inspiration”…I look at myself sometimes and try to see what ya’ll see but I don’t…I just see a normal girl who wants a child more than anything in the world…I see someone who would give there right arm to be able to tell her husband he is going to be a daddy. I do not know how I have changed your lives; HOWEVER I am grateful that I did. Hearing those words mean more to me than anything, it makes this journey worth it. It makes this journey have a “purpose”. God gave us this for a reason, and if it’s helping you and others throughout this or any struggle then it IS worth it. Baby or no baby, I am very blessed in many ways.
Love-Hugs and Prayers-

The Pifer Family
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