Sunday, December 28, 2008

What do you think God meant...

What do you think God meant when he gave me infertility???

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.

These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the STRENGTH within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special reason. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

I know our time is coming, I have FAITH. God has his arms wraped so tight around me and my husband...I feel it! WE WILL BE PARENTS!!!!!!


~the mccrarys~ said...

i just wrote you a long sweet comment & my internet screwed up & closed =( i'll email ya tomorrow! love ya!

Deadly Glitter said...

i got af on christmas. nice present. i needed this! thanks so much. erin

The Pifer's said...

Ashlee, AWWWW....stupid computers!!!!

Erin, keep your head up sweetie!!! WE will BOTH get through this journey, and when we do it will all be worth it!!!! God has something special in store for us!!! :::HUGS:::

Mimi said...

That was a great post!!! It is so true and it is refreshing to hear your positive attitudu towards infertility. I think that when our children are placed in our arms, they are going to be loved so much and we are going to feel so blessed. God is good Tiff, he will bless us!!


Ashley said...

That was such a wonderful post!! I am going to quote you on my blog about the refreshing drink...I think that is such an awesome way to put it!! I feel the same way that you do about how much this journey has brought me...sure it has brought me some pain but the rest has been pure joy because I never would have gotten so close to God or my husband with out this. Keep thinking postive. God has our path planned for us and I have a feeling that the miracles are near:)

Ape and Brett said...

you know sometimes when I hear people say things it makes me want to knock em out. Im not even experiancing the infertility issue but I hurt when you guys hurt. People dont think before they speak sometimes and it is aggravating. God has something for you guys, and one way or another like you said you will have a baby. Next time someone opens their mouth you tell them I hope you think before you speak. You know what god has in store for you, they dont. We love you girly. You are the best friend and aunt we could ever ask for.

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