Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Appreciation

“There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better in a sense. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother.”

Author Unknown

I found this a while back and printed off to read from time to time when I get sad, however I have so many blogger-friends out there that are down right now due to this difficult journey and I HAD to share this with all of ya’ll; this does not mean that my fertile friends are not good parents, b/c I know each one of ya’ll and ya’ll are marvelous parents…I have said it from the beginning, infertile women have a “different” type of appreciation towards pregnancy and there children…it doesn’t mean that fertile women don’t, it’s just a different appreciation that only infertile women feel and experience. I know that God has something WONDERFUL in store for each of us! I know that he is up there creating us our miracles! I have Faith that God is listening to each one of our prayers and with time he will bless us…in HIS time that is. I wish I knew why things like this happened…I wish I could take each one of ya’lls heartache away—however one day you will know why God choose you to go down this path! God has a plan for everyone. I truly believe in him and I have 100% faith in him…as long as were patient and trust in him, he will bless us in more ways then one. I pray for you all each and every night (As well as others that are having different struggles right now)…God will pull us through this—we just need to lean on him.

God Bless you ALL.

18 comments:

Jennifer said...

that is so beautiful, thank you for posting it!

Ashley said...

This is soo great!!! You will be the most amazing mother someday!!! You already are a great Aunt and Godmother to little Audree! I can only imagine what it will be like with your "own" lil' one!! :)

Love ya,
Ash

Melody said...

That is so true! Prayers to all of your TTC!

Mimi said...

That is so beautiful Tiff. Thank you. That lifted my spirits.

Love you girl,
Kami

Ape said...

i know that I love Audree with all of my heart and soul and I wouldn't know what I would do without her. I know that we only tried for 4 months for her and that was a hard time for me. I now know that there are a lot of people that struggle to get pregnant and then there are those who just can't get pregnant. I know the love yall will have for your babies and children will be so special. You will appreciate EVERYTHING about your pregnancies and birth. You will make such an EXCELLENT mother as well as all of the other people sruggling with infertility. You are an awesome person tiff and dont ever ever forget that!!! GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU STRUGGLING. ALL OF YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS

Miranda said...

Perfectly said! And it truely is a different type of appreciation.

Amber Schmidt said...

That is a beautiful piece... thank you for sharing.

Kelli said...

Well said! Thanks for sharing - I printed it out, too and will refer to it as a reminder in the future. :)

Living With Loss said...

That's really beautiful. Thanks for sharing it.

twondra said...

I have that in my journal and I read it all the time. It's awesome. Thanks for sharing!!

Stephanie said...

I just know your little blessing is coming!!!!

Following Him said...

AMAZING how GOOD God is...he is FULL of surprises and his almighty hand will bless you :)
~Elyse~

Jennifer said...

thank you so much for your sweet comment! i am praying for you during this journey. i have been in your place and know exactly how you feel. i can't wait for God to bless you with your little miracle!!

Megan said...

Thanks for posting this!! =)

Mrz. Hannah Myhre said...

This was so sweet and true:)God is indeed with us and has a plan for each and every one of us.. He always has known it, even before we were born..WOW God is so good.. And I Love him so much!!! Praying for you every day..

Hugs,
Hannah

Michelle said...

I too suffer from PCOS and through the miracle of God we concieved on our own with my son 2 years ago. With our second time around ,we went to a fabulous reprod endo and now have a daughter. I too had the LEEP done for dysplasia and never thought we would have children.Now that I have 2 children i can never have anymore due to my body's reaction to pregnancy and the risk I would have of stroke, kidney failure, etc because each time I was pregnant I had severe preeclampsia. Infertility is a struggle, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Three of the most known families in the Bible suffered from infertility as well so that is something to think about sometimes. One day your heart will be full, your spirit will soar, and you will hopefully hold a child to call your own. Never give up, and know that there is always a plan.

Michelle said...

Thanks for sharing that! It truly is how I feel without a doubt. I am so glad that I found people like you through my blogging. Before I started blogging, I feel I was negative all the time, but with people like you, I feel I have learned to look at things differently. I know that when the time comes, I will be a better person because of the journey...THanks!
~Michelle

Leslie Laine said...

Hi Tiffany - just checking out your blog. Thanks so much for your kind comment on my blog.

I love this post - I think it's so very true. I do believe that God chose us to go down this path, and I can honestly say that pregnancy has been a different experience for me than it has for people around me who reached this point so easily.

Thanks for posting - it's so meaningful to me.

God Bless You.


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