Progress…oh how I have heard this word too many times to count.As I sit there with tears flowing down my face I would often hear by SO many; ‘But Tiffany; just know you have made progress…’ those words would shoot through me like bullet…I didn’t care about ‘making progress’ if my pregnancy test weren’t positive then I didn’t ‘succeed’… who cares about ‘progress’…I want a positive pregnancy test; I want to be a mother, I want to make my husband a father and our parents grandparents…I want to decorate a nursery, experience a first kick…even the bad moments like morning sickness…growing pains…I want it all…and everyone wants me to feel better because I’ve made ‘progress’???
BOY I’ve come a long way; I am so thankful for the ability to be positive now, the negativity that consumed my life and my heart was weighing me down; if it wasn’t for ‘progress’ I wouldn’t be where I am today…
My body has progressed…
My Dr’s have progressed…
Our marriage has progressed…
My faith has progressed…
My outlook on infertility has progressed…
Although I’ve had good and bad months my body over all has progressed…my strength to handle blood work; exams; surgery; shots; freezing’s; biopsies; month after month negative pregnancy test…I HAVE really progressed in life. I’m still not pregnant; and I don’t know if and when I will be…but I have progressed so much through this journey; and whereas in the beginning progression didn’t mean anything to me; it means a lot to me now! Progression is the activity of today and the assurance of tomorrow. Progression is God’s way of reminding us He hears our prayers…
If there is no struggle in life, there is not progress. Everyone has there own struggles, whether it be an illness, financial, school, relationships, work…etc; all struggles have progression that will end in success. Optimism is the essential to achievement in any struggle; and it’s also the foundation of courage and true progression. Every step forward is progression; every step forward is one closer to the end…without progress you can’t move forward in life.
So although I may continue to get negative pregnancy test after negative…I am progressing; and where I used to despise that word…I am thankful for it now.
Whatever struggle you might be enduring in life; I pray that you progress in many ways.
12 comments:
Wow! Super awesome post Tiff! Many good quotes in there too :)
You're amazing & I love ya!
You are such a strong woman Tiff. I love you girl!
Kami
Oh Tiffany... you are definetly progressing, but it doesn't make it ANY easier. Negative test after Negative test is so frustrating!!!! I know that your little bean will come when the time is right.
Great post and excellent observations. Right now your journey is about progress... one foot in front of the other, one day at a time! Sometimes it's hard to see the bigger picture when we're stuck in the day-to-day survival. My progress phase has taken me almost a decade, but I can look back and see how far I've come in the areas you've mentioned: my outlook, my faith, my strength, my marriage, God's faithfulness.
I'm praying that you won't have to wait much longer to reach your dream of having a baby!
Progress is hard because it isn't always tangible. I want to SEE the difference. I want to be able to show people the difference. When you lose weight the progress is slow. Some people may see it, others may not. It is easy to get discouraged. But soon the weight will be gone and the progress will have led to a goal weight.
IF progress if almost invisible. Nobody can see inside and see the progress. The bigger follie, thicher lining or improved numbers. Waiting for the day when the progress becomes visible is VERY hard.
You are exactly right! Progress can be extremly hard; esp. in situations where it's very hard to see the progress you are making...to be honest my actual body/ovaries/lining...etc. hasn't progressed that much; I might have a good month, but then a bad month...my body is more like a rollercoaster with many ups and downs. With that being said, I have progressed in many ways I never thought I could; my faith...our realationship...my strength. I used to be so scared of so much, and whereas I still have my moments of fear; overall I've progressed...
There are many types of progression; although no one but myself can see mine; I feel like a better person, wife, daughter and friend because of who I have become!
Waiting for the day when progress can be visible is extremly hard...
Keep your faith!
Love-Hugs and Prayers
Thank you for your sweet post!
Love hugs and prayers
At times it doesn't make it any easier, but then at times it does...seeing negitive after negitive still hurts; but being able to hold my head high and take one day at a time and leave the rest to God has gotten so much easier!
Love ya sweet friend---praying for ya always!
Your so sweet! Thanks friend :)
Thanks Rosie!!!! Love ya!
Thank you for this post. It found me when I needed it most. My journey is on my website if you want to see why I needed to read your words at this time. Thank you.
What a great post sweetie! Thanks for sharing. Really makes you think. (((HUGS)))
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