Friday, August 20, 2010

Cloudy Heart...

My heart is a little cloudy today...

As much as I want to be positive about things, I can't help but think our dreams will never come true, I can't help but question if we are even meant to be parents, I can't help but imagine that I will never be pregnant.

Although I know that our God in a God of miracles, and he is so great and almighty I do hurt. I know by hurting that is him pulling me closer to him, wanting me to kneel before him longer and pray harder...and although my heart hurts that's what I will do.

I do not know God's plan for us, but whatever it is and wherever we go, I do know he will be by my side and with us every step of the way.

I just wish today that the cloudiness in my heart would turn to sunshine...

15 comments:

Shannon said...

I wrote a post almost just like this...even with a picture of a cloud! Although I'm not as far in in my journey, I feel like we're on the same one. *hugs*

Melody said...

You are so strong. Even if you are "cloudy" you never REALLY show it. I know God has great plans for you!

Lauren said...

Tiffany, on those days where the clouds obstruct your view, I pray that a rainbow will push through. Cling to the hope and his promises that he has given you and that you know to be true. Thinking of you!!!

Megan said...

I'm so sorry that you're hurting today. It definitely goes in waves, I can tell you that for sure. You don't have to be strong all the time and it's ok to feel the pain. (((HUGE HUGS)))

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Stacey said...

I'm so sorry, Tiffany. Those "cloudy" days are so hard. Your post reminded me of that Point of Grace song called Blue Skies. It's several years old now, but I hope you'll Google it and read the lyrics and be encouraged today. (((HUGS)))

ttc4way2long Ashling328 said...

I'm sorry about your cloudy day. Hopefully today the sun is shining for you. I know how it feels and I've been were you are now. Actually at this stage (after failed ivf) its hard not to think like that a little bit every day. But we have to believe in God's plan for us that there will be the joy of parenthood in store for us we just have to take the long route but we'll get there in the end.

MICHELE said...

I wish I had something really great to say, but I want you to know that I am continuing to pray for you guys that God will bring you a baby.
You are right when God is the author of your life your story can only end beautifully...it is just hard to wait until you get there.
Hugs.

Kim said...

I hope the clouds pass by and a beautiful ray of sunshine peaks through and adds some light to this day for you. The good Lord will not take you to a place that he will not walk with or carry you through. Praying that God blesses you with His good Graces. This too shall pass. xoxoxoxox

twondra said...

Thinking of you sweetie. Always here for you if you need to talk! (((HUGS)))

Ashley said...

Thinking of you! *Hugs*

惠NorrisBradwell041花 said...

我們必須先有哭泣,才有歡笑;也必須先感到人生的悲哀,然後才感到人生的快樂。................................................................

Rosie said...

Just thinking of you today and hoping your sad mood has been lifted and filled with hope! Love you and you know I've been there so you can call me anytime still!

Busted Kate said...

I understand this... I understand the feeling SO WELL. Five years I had the same prayers, the same questions, the same why. I never got a good answer back, and just resigned myself to good days and bad days... tried to celebrate staying out late without having to get home to a sitter, NOT being the people with the crying baby in a restaurant.

I don't know if this will help, and my apologies if it doesn't, but here's a post I wrote a while back: http://www.bustedplumbing.com/2009/11/i-prayed-for-peace-instead.html

*~Valerie~* said...

I will keep you in my thoughts...although cloudy times are tough to take and hurt, they often break and reveal a new sunny path. A friend of mine once told me that if you want to be parents you will be parents, it just may not be the way you envision things. We walked the infertility path for about 7 years and when we'd given up and felt completely defeated.... we got our miracle baby in the form of a very surprising adoptive situation. No, it wouldn't have been our first choice initially but I can tell you that God knows what He is doing... and that we wouldn't trade our son for anything.

Don't give up....and hang onto faith...I sincerely believe you guys will get your miracle baby too. Hope you see some sunshine in the near future.

Valerie
www.thebabyquest.com


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