It's been about a year since our last (and very first IVF)--you would think I would eventually quit thinking about it--but truth be known I think of it often.
How much pain and discomfort my body went through, yet how wonderful the whole experience felt...how when our 'babies' where placed back in me how exhilarating that felt knowing that 2 little babies that Zach and I created were waiting to attach and grow...
Watching my pregnancy tests get darker and darker day by day knowing 'this is finally it'...seeing the word 'pregnant' without the 'not' and how amazing that day felt!! Seeing how my husband cared for me and my 'belly' at the time, not wanting to hurt anything.
The the awful day when my tests went to negative and my beta came back a 4....
As I type this I look up at our bulletin board in our office to look up at our ultrasound of 'our babies'...friends and family often tell us to throw them away as they only bring us 'down'....but truth is they don't bring us down, they make us happy knowing what we had, even if it was short lived.
One day (and hopefully/prayerfully) soon I will be able to tell you a child is on it's way, whether it's pregnancy natural, IVF, or adoption...God has a plan for us and we plan to follow it!
Sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers...and maybe our last IVF was meant to be a learning lesson for Zach and I...and stepping stone in the right path. We learned alot about ourselves and our relationship and just how strong we are.
Sometimes it's nice just to sit back and reflect on all that God has taken you through--the good, bad and ugly.
