Thursday, October 9, 2008

Does my infertility scare you?

I often encounter people who don't know how to talk to us after they find out that we are dealing with infertility. They want to ask how we are doing, if we have made any progress, if we are finally pregnant, but don't know how. For those of you that fall into this tongue-tied category, I'm going to let you in on a little secret...we just love knowing that you care! You aren't always going to know how to word things and we aren't always going to take things the best possible way, but at the end of the day we appreciate you asking.

This brings me to those that are already pregnant and don't know how to talk to us. First off, we appreciate your sensitivity. That being said, the worst thing you can do is complain about your pregnancy, about getting fat, about that foot in your ribs, about your bladder being used as a soccer ball. We do love, however, to hear how much you are enjoying it, how excited you are to find out the gender, how beautiful you think the sound of the heartbeat is. We will be nothing but happy for you, because we will then know that you really appreciate such a wonderful blessing.

If you are pregnant and have a friend or family member who is dealing with infertility, you may be wondering how to go about telling them your good news. The best thing you can do is tell them yourself. Don't let them find out through someone else. Of course, although we will be happy for you, we will of course be a little sad, it DOESN'T mean we are jealous, MOST of us are so very blessed with the lives we have, however you have to understand how badly we want to be pregnant ourselves. Please don't be scared of us or to talk to us...I personally love to know that ppl. are there for me and that yall care...I like talking about my situation because it really helps (thats why I have this blog) :o)


The Freas' said...


Allenson said...

I am posting that in one of my own blogs. That's amazing.. I get so tired of hearing people complain about being pregnant! It hurts!!

God will take care of Zack and you, just like he will take care of Kevin and I. I found out about a week ago that my friend's wife just had her THIRD baby. I cried!!! Last night, while watching Grey's Anatomy, I cried when the cancer patient started saying that it's "No Fair".. That's EXACTLY how I feel! It's no fair! All I want is ONE. One opportunity. One life. One child. Raising Deborah is a blessing, and I love her like she is my own, but in the back of my mind, I can't help but to realize that she's not MY child. I didn't get to give birth to her. I didn't get to feel her moving around in my stomach, and the woman who did-- doesn't give a damn about her! How's that for being unfair?!?!

~The McCrary's~ said...

This reminds me of that blog you had on your Myspace about talking to people going through infertility. It pains me how unfair life is to people who deserve better. But I do truly feel that you & Zach will get your blessing!

The Pifer Family
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