We have hit a MAJOR Pothole in the Road!

I'm not quite sure where to start....so let me start by introducing you to my mom....

My Lovely Bloggers.....

<~~~This beautiful lady (ok...the other, beautiful lady ha!) is my mom!

Sometimes it helps when you have a face to go with who you are praying for. {Plus I wasn't quite sure how to lead into this difficult post, so that seemed like the easiest way possible.....}


OK....as you all my mom had her angiogram last week, her MRI this week and got the results today...these results weren't exactly "how" we expected they would be...however like my post below God doesn't always lead us down the "easy" roads...we have most def. stepped in a major pothole!!

*For starters...she is suspected to have a ruptured inner ear, this would be the main cause as to why she always falls and can not keep her balance. She will be seeing a specialist for this within the next couple weeks.

*She has 8 bludging and ruptured disks in her back. Her Dr. pretty much said she is walking around with a "broken back"...from the top to the bottom it's pretty bad and surgery wise, he just doesn't know if it's fixable without causing more damage than good. Her Dr. has pain Dr's that work under him and she will start to see them and discuss the options of injections (which she already receives, and they don't help her to much), infusions and implants (the implant would be a little box they would put in her back to release pain meds so that she can function.)

*OK...now here comes the hard part! Her brain aneurysm and brain tumor...both are on her left side of the brain. He said he will bring her back in 4 months to do another angiogram and "if" they have grown any, she will undergo immediate surgery (like the same day or next day)

So are you thinking what I was thinking????? "Why not just do it now and get it over with???"

He said if she was healthy he would do the surgery now, however my mom is far from healthy. Since she has already had a brain aneurysm it would only do more harm than good. He is afraid doing surgery now with everything that is wrong it could very possibly leave her brain dead. The surgery is so very risky, and he said right now it's not an option that he wants to do. However; he can not promise that she will be here in 4 months to do the angiogram. A brain aneurysm is serious and you never know what will happen. She could make it years without any growth or any bursting, or she could only have days. One of the main reasons he can't do the back surgery is; #1 it's a very serious surgery in itself, however the stress of the theraphy that she would be enduring after the surgery is far to stressful and painful than her brain needs right now. Her Dr. advised her, NO stress, NO tears, NO getting angry, NO getting sad...absolutely nothing that would trigger her aneurysm to burst. He said at no time is she to forget that she has a brain aneurysm and brain tumor. He does not want her to walk on egg shells through life, HOWEVER this is something she always needs to be aware of, because ANY sign of ANYthing she feels different or if she has a bad headache...anything that isnt "day to day" normal she is to call him ASAP , as that could very possibly save her life.

Personally I'm very numb at the moment (besides my pounding head and swollen eyes from crying). I honestly can't believe it's like this. She had her other aneurysm and it was "ok lets do surgery, wham bam thank you mam', it's all fixed"...(ok, so it was a little more scary than just that....but my point is it was FIXED)...however I don't have that option right now. I could hear her fighting back tears telling me this dreadful news. We both hoped for the same news "I can fix this and I will" we didn't expect for this to be so "difficult". I could hear the fear in her voice when she leads to tell me how she doesn't ever want to be brain dead and how if she ever became that way that she would want me to pull the plug...I immediately stopped her and said thats not an option and I didn't want to talk about that--I can't think about that! That is NOT an option!!!!! Inside though, I am terrified that my mom will fall or get upset and trigger her aneurysm to burst. I sat on the phone while she was telling me this and held my composer. I said, "it's ok mom...we will get through this, no biggie at all...have Faith"....then I hung up the phone and bawled like a big baby; thats my mom...nothing can happen to her.

I don't know what the next few months will hold, I don't know how this will all play out. I personally wish I would wake up from this nightmare. I just keep telling myself, GOD HAS A PLAN! I think I have prayed since the moment I talked to my mom...I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared now, b/c I am beyond scared...however God is amazing and he will guide us through this, some how...some way...we will make it through this. God doesn't give you any more than you can handle, although at times (def. right now!) I wish I could seriously have a one on one with Him and please ask him how much more does he possible think I can handle, b/c I personally think I have enough on my plate...BUT if he knows I can handle it, I guess I can...

SO the plan! My mom goes back in 4 months if not before!!

We need to pray for 2 major things:
1) for the aneurysm to NOT burst
and 2) for the aneurysm and tumor to NOT grow

Also, please pray that she stays calm...somehow, someway, she can not stress!! I also need strength, I've become a pretty tough chick throughout this infertility journey, however bumps like these make me feel extremely weak! I have to be able to remain strong for her to remain calm!

PLEASE keep her in your prayers!!

Thank you and God Bless!