Bitter/Sweet Mothers Day.....

"You are my Sunshine On a Cloudy Day"

Mothers Day-such a bitter/sweet day for me. So many different emotions. Yes, normally I dread mothers day because it's just a constant reminder that I'm not a mother yet and if you asked me last week, I was dreading it because of that exact reason...however so much changed in less than a week. I was so excited for my mother and grandma (Perk) to go to church with us this morning, ever since I found out they were 100% going with us I've been beyond thrilled. However, there was this part of me that was pretty much dreading this Mothers Day, I knew...come Sunday morning that I only had one more day until my mothers surgery. I am so thankful for my Mother, she is my "Sunshine" no matter what she is always there encouraging me and supporting me throughout any little thing in life. She is an amazing women, and I don't know what I would do without her!

"I love you HIGHER than the sky....DEEPER than the sea...ALL the way around the world...PLUS SOME....and as much as you will EVER, EVER, EVER know!"

She used to tell me that every morning on our way to school, as well as sing "You are My Sunshine" and when I say every morning, I mean every morning...like PreK-Jr. High...haha! When I was a teen I used to get so annoyed, I was embarrassed; "Mom stop, this is getting old...!!!!" Now I think I would break into tears and be a huge mess if she sang that to me today....she is MY sunshine on a cloudy day, she keeps me going and I am driven to keep her going as well!!!! I have held myself together extremely well; partly because I've kept myself busy with keeping Haidyn, then going over to our friend Apryle's parents house for dinner last night...I really haven't had to much time to sit down and thinking about anything.

Today during church they talked about where you get your Faith from, they said from your mother and your grandmother...that's exactly where I get it from. They talked about how you are taught to overcome your obstacles through Faith and how struggles in life help you grow in faith. It really hit home to me in so many ways, I know in my heart that whatever happens; good or bad, it's our Lords plan and that we will grow, not only closer to each other, not only closer to God, but in faith!! If I said I wasn't scared, I'd be lieing, and well....my Momma always told me not to lie. I'm 25 and no where am I ready to lose my mom or have anything happen to her. I hate to let that even cross my mind, but it's hard given the situation. I have pretty much set this whole thing in God's hands, however I can't seem to hand him these tears...I trust in him and I know he will get us through this, some how, some way.

I am picking her up in the morning at 6AM, her surgery will most likely start around 9AM. If you can all please keep my mother in your thoughts and prayers around this time it would mean the world to me. I will try to update when I can, if not I will have one of my friends get on and give ya'll an update when she is out of surgery. I am on Twitter, I willdo my best to keep it updated as it's easier with my blackberry...so you can click here to follow me if you would like. Please pray for guidance, please pray for strength for my mother and my family, as well as knowledge for the surgons.

Thank you all for caring so much, I could never express my thanks and graitude enough! You all are simply amazing!!!

My "Perk" and Me

Zach and Perk

Momma, Me and Perk