Ask and Tell

You Asked....I told....

(All you wanted to know...and more)

Exactly what all fertility meds have you been on?
Clomid 50mg-200mg; Femara, Metformin and Fortamet (they are pretty much the same thing, ones just the generic brand, but sometimes they act differently depending on the person…)

The other day you said you received a hateful comment/email; I can’t believe people would be so hateful-Do you mind sharing as to what did they say?
I don’t want to go into full details because I don’t want them to give them “credit” for being mentioned on my blog…but I will address one question that they asked in there letter-see question/answer below…

Do you think you are “begging” for a child?
The ONLY thing I am begging for is PRAYERS, if your heart leads you to wanting to help my family by donation that is completely up to you. I have some pretty amazing friends who have seen the fear in our eyes due to the cost of infertility treatments, these ladies have and are setting up some amazing fundraisers for Zach and I. I wish I wasn’t in the situation for them to even think about this, I wish I could get pregnant so easily and fast like some, however God choose me to go down this special path in life and I am thankful that I have close friends who are willing to help me and my husband throughout this…and when I say help I mean prayers, love, support, donations, cards…everything!

That leads me to this question…

“Can I just send you cards showing my support?”
Going to our P.O box and pulling out a card that has a beautiful prayer in it lights up my day, I’ve also received a few cards of how I have changed people’s visions of life and God—amazing! I can’t believe my husband, I and this journey were going down have impacted peoples lives so much. Somehow when I read that it makes me think that’s “my” purpose of going down this “infertility journey”. Just being able to help some get through this means the world to me…being able to help one more person have a little more Faith makes this journey worth that much more…

When was your turning point in infertility, where you went from negative to positive?
I remember I was such a bitter person, I would see so many pregnant…and slowly it seemed the majority of my friends would pop-up pregnant-most without trying or if they tried it wasn’t for very long. It seemed with every new pregnancy announcement I became more and more bitter…day by day I cried myself to sleep longer and harder…I remember being one of the most negative people. I’ll never forget one of my worst nights, I screamed at God, yelled at him, asked him “WHY”… “WHY ME?”…I want to be a mother and he won’t give me a baby, but he will give a druggie a baby….WHY???? I cried until my eyes were swollen and screamed until my throat was sore. That next morning I woke up with a new attitude, it’s what I call “a sense of calmness” I felt that God has his arms around me; I seriously “over night” went from being negative to being positive…I knew from that moment that God was with me on this journey, that he wasn’t punishing me and that I was going down this road for a reason. Day by day this journey has gotten easier, day by day my faith grows stronger…day by day I learn to trust him and lean on him more and day by day I inch up my “mountain”.

How can I have more faith and be more positive?
My only advice is to pray, try to set all your fears in God’s hands-if you “let” him-he WILL guide you through this journey, but you have to let him! When you can trust in God to the full extent, then your Faith WILL grow!

Will you adopt?
Zach and I will be parents one day, it does not take a pregnancy to be a mommy and a daddy so if that time comes and we can’t conceive our own, yes we will.

When will you stop trying and adopt?
I don’t think there is a “For sure” answer…I don’t think I will ever “stop” trying even if we do adopt. We have “discussed” that if we have to have IVF and it doesn’t take that we will most likely start saving for adoption due to my ins. not covering any bit of IVF and where I will be going it will be near 20K; however that isn’t set in stone and were pretty much taking it day by day and praying for guidance from our Lord…

I’d like to know a couple of your favorites…color…flower…animal…quote?
Color- PINK for sure!!!
Flower-it’s a toss up between a rose and a lily
Animal-dog as a pet, monkey because there ohh-soo cute!
Quote-my mom used to tell me “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” so that will always be a favorite of mine; but “Without Faith nothing is possible, with it nothing is impossible” is the quote I have hanging by my desk and I read daily-which keeps me going!

Why Faith? Why not Hope or Love or Trust…whats so “special” about Faith?
I wouldn’t say Faith is anymore “special” that Hope, Love or Trust or any of the above…Faith is just the one thing that has stuck from the beginning and helped me “grow”…Faith is what has helped my “hope-love and trust” grow…Faith is “knowing” that God has a special plan in store…Faith is “trusting”…Faith is “loving”….Faith is “hoping”… to others Faith is just a beautiful word/name…to me it’s my “rock” and it keeps me going strong.

What fertility clinic will you be going to?
Texas Ferility Center in Austin, TX---here is there site: http://www.txfertility.com/

Do you advertise for boutiques businesses?
Yes-in fact I already I’m. On the left side tool bar is a list of sponsor who are donating to the Pifer Bean Raffle; there are quite a bit so it’s scrolling, but I would encourage you all to go check them out, as they all have wonderful products. Also-if you want to be a sponsor; just email Ash at piferbeanfund@yahoo.com for details.

Can I send you prayer request for you to post on your page-I know some will post but others won't?

I don't mind posting, in fact I would love to help in way I can. However if there is a huge amount of request that I get I will have to do a little here and a little there...all I ask is when you send this to me, you email them and you title them prayer request so that I can keep up with them :)

Your hair is different in every picture-do you have a favorite style?
As you can tell by my pictures I pretty much change my hair at least twice a year-I get bored easily with it…my favorite is my “bob”. I love this hairstyle; it’s extremely easy and “fun”. I love it long too, but I always tend to just throw it up in a ponytail vs. fixing it.

How does your husband/family feel about your blog?
My husband was more less shocked that so many people cared for us. Like I’ve mentioned before my blog was strictly for Parents, Grandparents, Cousins, Aunts and Uncles. This was easier to update everyone on Dr’s appointments vs. having to call them every time. As you can see I’ve pretty much always been open with my infertility, so calling to update people was very important to me…however it was getting to a point where I’d forget who I called ~> I blame that on Clomid though! Well back to the question….he is thrilled that so many people care, he is amazed and very blessed and thankful…my family is as well.

You will tell us when you’re pregnant right?
Of course!!!! However due to the amount of family that reads my blog, I most likely will not tell ya’ll as soon as I find out ~> sorry, but after 3+ years I have about a billion ways of telling my husband and family that a lil’ Pifer Bean is on it’s way, and I don’t want them to read the news off the internet before I’m able to give them the good news….BUT I PROMISE, as soon as I’ve told them, I will tell ya’ll :)

How come it’s taken you 3 years to go to a fertility clinic, don’t most Dr’s tell you to go after 6 months to a year?
I was advised then to go to a fertility clinic, in fact I was advised MANY times to go to a fertility clinic. However it’s take me 3 + years for US to “want” to go…and to tell you the truth, we still aren’t 100% ready, I guess you never are though. My Dr. never turned me away though, he would always tell me, you need to go to a fertility clinic, but we can try this and that and it just might work…I always had that “hope”, I think my hope was more wishing though. Like I’ve stated many times, this is a step we were not ready to take. The procedures didn’t scare me, the blood work, the medicines, the shots…those are fine…the drive scared me for a while but I am past that. But the money scares me to pieces! I do NOT understand why all ins. don’t cover infertility; it’s not my fault that I am infertile.

Do people tell you all the time that you have helped them? Because you have really changed my outlooks on life, how can I help you?
Hearing you and others tell me how I changed your life is more help than anything. You see I am just a small town girl from the south. There isn’t anything special about me, I don’t live in the biggest of houses, I don’t drive the most expensive vehicle, I don’t have the highest paid job…I’m just your ordinary girl who goes to work everyday, church on Sundays and writes her feelings on this blog…sometimes I wonder how my “boring” life has changed so many peoples lives, or how my husband and myself are what you call an “inspiration”…I look at myself sometimes and try to see what ya’ll see but I don’t…I just see a normal girl who wants a child more than anything in the world…I see someone who would give there right arm to be able to tell her husband he is going to be a daddy. I do not know how I have changed your lives; HOWEVER I am grateful that I did. Hearing those words mean more to me than anything, it makes this journey worth it. It makes this journey have a “purpose”. God gave us this for a reason, and if it’s helping you and others throughout this or any struggle then it IS worth it. Baby or no baby, I am very blessed in many ways.

Love-Hugs and Prayers-

Tiff