Everyone keeps asking how I feel…to be honest I don’t feel a certain way. I want this more than words can express. I want to be able to tell my husband he is going to be a daddy; however is this the time? Only God knows! I do realize that my other 2 IUI cycles were with Clomid, they were completely different, however I can’t tell you how much hope I had with those. I just ‘knew’ that was going to be it. But it wasn’t! So to be candid I am just taking one day at a time and I am not thinking about the outcome that may come, I do not want to think about it. Yes, partly because I fear I will again get my hopes up, but mostly because I am trying my hardest to let God guide me through this. He is the one in control, not I. So no matter how bad I want this, it won’t happen unless this is his timing. Will it hurt if it’s not his timing, yes. Will I be ok…most defiantly!! God has blessed me with a great life, my good friend Melissa wrote a blog yesterday about stepping back and enjoying your life. You see I’ve never been one to let trying to conceive consume my life, never been one to let it define my husband or I…it’s something very important to me, and I pray for it everyday—but it’s hard not to get wrapped up in it at times. Like Melissa said…You never know what tomorrow holds, we could be gone one day and worrying day in and day out about getting pregnant is not the way we should live our life. We need to step back and enjoy each and every day and praise God for the life he has given us and the blessings we do have in our life.
Do you know that song by Bob Marley, “Don’t worry about a thing…every little thing is going to be alright…” ?? Well Zach loves that song and has been singing it to me everyday (with his lovely non’ singing voice! Ha!!) But the point is, the message is amazing, no amount of worrying or stressing will change the plans he has in store for us. So for the next two weeks, I am going to enjoy every bit of ‘life’ with my husband, family and friends and do my best not to think about what comes after these two weeks…God will guide us where we need to be! He is in Control—and ‘every little thing is going to be alright!!!’
Philippians 4:6 Don’t worry about anything: instead, pray for everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace which exceeds anything we can understand.