Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Nerves...48days

When I made my appt the other day I tried to get it moved up sooner, partly because I knew if it was sooner that would give me less time to be worried but most importantly because I am so eager to start this journey; but March 29th was the first available consultation. My first reaction was a a sigh of frustration...I've waited 5 years for this, and I have to admit I wanted it 'now'...I didn't want to wait any longer...

God has blessed me with patience, if he wants me to wait 48 more days till we can start this journey, I will accept that and do so happily.

When the lady on the phone started taking my information I started crying, she apologized that there wasn't another date available...'it's not that I replied' she asked kindly what was wrong...'I've waited a long time for this appt, I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm excited, I feel blessed...my emotions are everywhere...' I apologized for getting so emotional over the phone she explained that she was used to this reaction, and that everything would be ok.

When I hung up I sobbed even harder...why? I am not for sure?? My stomach feels in knots, I can feel my heart in my throat and tears just keep coming...

I'm so happy...and nervous!

This is a step that I've prayed a long time for, although I do not know the outcome of this path I am so beyond blessed to be able to walk down it.

....in 48 days, I will know the 'next' step to this journey :)


12 comments:

Jennifer said...

I'm crying with you. I know it seems like forever and I hope the time passes by quickly for you.

Kelly said...

Praying for you and your husband on this next part of your journey. I remember our first appt and how excited I was. Good luck with everything and keep your head up.

Lauren Bice said...

Such an exciting time, prayers for your family! Don't worry....those 48 days will pass very quickly and before you know you will be walking into your appointment. My husband and I went through the same excited anticipation leading up to our consultation, then the night before the appointment I was nothing but nerves! Best of luck to you and your husband!!!

Rosie said...

I'm crying with you too. This is so exciting! It will be here before you know it!

Hoping for our own Peanut said...

SO excited for you! 2011 is going to be a great year for you, I just know it!

twondra said...

Definitely praying for you sweetie so much! Praying this is the year for both of us and we are pregnancy buddies. :)

Sarah said...

Prayers headed your way.

Mrs. Jenk said...

If it makes you feel any better at all, I have an IVF baby from the Texas Infertility (where I think you went/are going) and that is the date I was told the I had enough eggs to do IVF. It is also my birthday and I am a miracle child after many miscarriages. I take that as a good sign!

Kristin said...

I've been praying for you! :) Praying those days go by fast!

Adventures of Squirrel and Bug said...

I pray those days go by fast and God gives you the peace you need! I am very excited for you and I will be praying for you!!

Ashley said...

Hopefully the days can go by super fast and God gives you more peace and patience to get through them ;)

Ashley said...

I made an appointment with an infertility doctor (for a second opinion) about a month ago and I can't see him until MAY!!! My heart dropped!!! So I know how you are feeling. I am so ready to do IVF or something but there is always going to be this waiting game. I said, I think God is telling me to have more patience. I know 48 days may seem like a long time but it will be here before you know it:) I can't wait to see where this journey is going to take you!!!!


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