Sickly :(

This momma has been sick!!

I apologize for no 'week 20' picture. I had the cutest idea in mind since my halfway mark landed on Christmas Day; however my day consisted of curling up in bed and not moving all day.

I started running a fever Sunday night; it was right at 100 so my husband called my on call dr and they advised us if it went up another degree we had to go into labor and delivery. Thankfully it never spiked above 100. On Wednesday I woke up with literally no voice and hardly any hearing. My ears were so clogged all I could hear was ringing...we went to the dr and turns out this momma has the flu and a double ear infection. My fever finally broke last night after being 99-100 all week. I wish I could say I feel better though; my voice is still 90% gone and my hearing is the same. Although my throat is killing me due to coughing, I'd much rather get my hearing back! It messes with your equilibrium so bad--I feel so spacey and dizzy. My dr's called me in an antibiotic that was safe for Miles; but unfortunately it hasn't kicked in yet.

With all that said; I'm very thankful that my sweet Miles is ok. He's getting more and more active everyday. Zach felt him for the first time last night!!

Although this Christmas wasn't quite what I had in mind with me being sick, it by far was one of the best...our sweet Miles is such a blessing to us and our family!

I was due with our last little bean we lost on Christmas Day; I couldn't help but think that without those struggles and heart ache we wouldn't have Miles kicking away inside me right now...I'll never forget that sweet bean and the short time it was in my belly!! God is a God of miracles!

I hope you all had a blessed Christmas and I hope y'all have an amazing 2013 full of blessings!

I will try to have a week 21 picture up this week of this momma feels better :)

Our Miracle

The path has taken us many of miles...miles that have made us stronger...miles that have tested our faith and miles that have bought us our miracle. No matter how many miles God places in your life, this journey has taught us never to give up! Ever mile is worth every step...

Our Miracle: Miles Thomas

19 weeks

He or She is the question this week....well just a couple more days until I can spill the beans :)

We had an amazing Dr's visit and appt. (minus me getting extremely sick and throwing up during my ultrasound)...yes that actually happened!! I laid down to get my ultrasound, she scanned me for a couple minutes...immediately found the gender :).....well it was a couple seconds later I got extremely dizzy and light headed; I just thought I was getting really excited so I didn't say anything--then it turned worse and I couldn't breath, I took a deep breath and my ultrasound tech immediately could tell something was wrong....she rushed to get me water and while she was gone my sweet husband held the trashcan while I vomited :(. She came back with a fan and everything. Turns out this happens alot, the baby was compressed against a vein leading to my heart and cut off a little blood flow which in return made me sick. We were able to continue our ultrasound (just with me laying on my side). We got an adorable picture of our baby's profile (I like to think it looks like me!) :). The baby is measuring a week ahead but were keeping my due date as of right now. My sweet bean is 11oz. Baby is breech at the moment but my Dr doesn't seem too worried. The heartbeat at this appt was 153. Strong and healthy!!! I gained 1lb since my last appt...my Dr said I'm a little under average but I was so sick early on I should be ok.

I'm still craving all of the same things/lots of salad and veggies. Still no sweets :)

This TX weather has been so up and down lately that my head feels all congested, but other than that I feel great.

We will announce baby beans gender this Friday with our family and friends at a local restaurant. I promise to post it publicly Friday night :).

So what's your final guess??? Pink or Blue?? :)

Reflections on Infertility

I've had time today to read through some of my old post, some I've forgotten I've even written. So if you read my blog for years the following may look familiar...but given that we are so close to our sweet miracle Pifer bean, I don't ever want to forget what we have been through; I want to praise God in these moments; He took us through these paths for a reason...and for that I'm so thankful.

 

 

Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life. The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.

 

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

 

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the STRENGTH within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down.

 

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That’s not my destiny; that’s just a fork in the road I’m on. I’ve been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I’m a better person for it.

 

 

TO my readers who are still on this journey, don't give up please! It took us almost 7 years. SEVEN YEARS...but within those 7 years we have grown so close. This journey is still far from over for me, 18 weeks pregnant sounds so far (which it is) but I still have quite some time before this child is in my arms. Don't get me wrong, I rejoice and praise our Lord every day...but there isn't a moment I'm not scared. I'm not 100% positive why God places struggles in our life, the only thing I can come up with is he is using those struggles to mold us into the exact person he wants us to be--he has better things in store for us, things we couldn't even imagine. Never give up, never lose your faith, never stray to far from God. He is and will always be by you on this path, even in your darkest moments.

 

 

18 weeks

This weeks been pretty good, sleeps been a little better and knock on wood I haven't been sick in a while. :)

My main cravings is salad-veggies-pickles-banana peppers-anything spicy! Still don't want anything sweet and meat is still a little hard to eat.

Our gender scan is next MONDAY- eekkkk!! My gut instinct says boy, but we'll see :) we will have our gender reveal dinner is next Friday and I absolutely can wait to tell our family and friends!

Overall week 18 have treated me well! I'm so blessed! ❤

Amazing

17 weeks

Well...HAPPY 17 weeks sweet bean!!

This bean is starting to be a little nicer to mommy! She can eat a little better, hasn't gotten sick in about a week (knock on wood)...sleeping a little better and 'only' getting up to pee about 3 times a night to pee vs 7 :)

I'm still craving subway sandwiches. Well any kind of sandwich loaded with lettuce and veggies...but at subway I'm able to put TONS of veggies on it. Meat is still a little hard (unless its smothered in veggies)...I guess it's safe to say I'm craving veggies- ha!!! Pickles are still auh-mazing!! Loving ice cold drinks still...spicy things like banana peppers are a favorite! But still no sweets-gag!! (I'm not complaining though, it's probably a good thing I don't want sweets). When I want something I HAVE to have it like ASAP. My poor sweet husband is so great at making sure we eat what I'm hungry for...even if we eat it several days in a row :)

I am starting to feel stuff-I don't want to quite call it 'movement' yet because I'm not 100% positive that's what it is...everyone tells me it is; but I'm new to this :). It's either gas or the baby...my Dr says probably both :)

Two weeks exactly till we find out what this bean is! I'm so ready to start planning! :)

We're almost to the half way mark! <3