Memorial Day Weekend

Well Eric (my brother in law) came in on Thursday and we went to float the river with him, alot of his friends and some of ours on Saturday! We all woke up about 6ish and headed to San Marcus...we got on the river around 1:30 and didn't get off until 7-8ish! It was a LOOONNNNG trip but we had an amazing time!!! I was the ONLY one who didn't get burnt! I TANNED...."yea for me!!!". If you have never floated the river, it's a "trip" it's fun...crazy...and it's something everyone needs to do at least once in there life!!!! I will post pictures soon (since there from water cameras I have to get them developed and upload them...so it will take a bit).

Eric is in town till Friday (the day we leave too). It's soo good to see Zach's family. We miss them so much! I don't know how I got so lucky to have such wonderful in-laws. You always hear horror stories of in-laws, but I was blessed with loving and caring in-laws. They love me like I'm there own flesh in blood and visa-versa!!!! I will be so sad when Eric has to leave, but at the same time I am exicted about our own upcoming vacation b/c we get to see more of my in-laws!!!!

TWO AMAZING YEARS

WOW...it's been 2 years since Zach and I became husband and wife. These have by far been the best years of my life. Zach is amazing, he is my everything and he makes every day wonderful. I don't know what I did to deserve such an amazing guy in my life, he makes me feel so special and he completes me. He IS my life. I am so thankful and so blessed!!!!!

The day isn't even half way over....but it's been such an amazing 5 hours...the day started out with Zach waking me up and telling me "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY" I opened my eyes to him right in my face, haha...it was cute! He said "do you want you present"? I said..."YES YES" :o) he said..."close your eyes"...."OPEN THEM"...so I open them and see my silly husband just grinning ear to ear at me...he said "it's me....I'm your gift". I told him he was silly, but he WAS and IS the best gift that I have EVER EVER got blessed with!!!! He then popped open this little box and there was a 3 stone diamond "Past Present and Future" ring, it has Champaing diamonds in the middle of all the other ones...it's BEAUFITUL!!!! I will have to post a pic of it later! Then I went and got his presents for him to open...he got a 2 new pairs of shoes, a Steeler hat, an offical Steeler program from when they won the Super Bowl, and a 3 month membership to the Beer of the Month Club (he LOVES trying different beers and when I saw this I thought that was great for him). He loved everything...he was really suprised by everything. Shortly after that he left to go to work and I got ready for work as well...(it took me longer to get ready b/c I keep looking at my ring, haha) On my way out the door there was this long note...it was just the sweetest love note telling me Happy Anniversary and I am the best thing that has ever happened to him...all the gushy mushy stuff...but needless to say it made me just cry, it was the sweetest thing ever. ((NOW I am really late b/c I had to go fix my makeup!!)) This afternoon he has a softball tourament, he is playing in the 1st game...then after that we are going out to eat.

I can't get over how it's been 2 years already...Being MRS. PIFER is the most amazing feeling ever. I feel so giddy today, and I fall more and more inlove with him every second of every day.

**On a side note of fertility stuff....I started my cycle today, I know I know what a bummer to start on your anniversary, well I kinda expected it and NOTHING and I mean NOTHING will ruin today...today is such a special day and nothing will take that away!!!!! I called my Dr. and we set up everything for the IUI after this "next" cycle. Everything happens for a reason and I am a FIRM believer of that!!!!**

Bloodtest Results

My Dr called and my progesterone level for this cycle is a 12.8 (which is GREAT!!!) I've had it higher but ANYTHING over a 10 is AMAZING! They said it does confirm that I DID INDEED ovulate later this time around then normal. Because IF I would have ovulated around CD10 or CD12 like I normally do then that 12.8 would be alot higher since I am on CD23 (but I am ONLY 8DPO vs. 12-14DPO....so it makes a BIG difference. BUT for where I am at in my cycle, a 12.8 is GREAT!!!!!

A progesterone level does not indicate pregnancy...you can have a prog. level of 50 and you wouldn't have any more of a chance to be pregnant than a person with a level 10.1 it just NEEDS to be over a 10.

I "should" be testing in a few days...."DEPENDING" on how things go...so wish me luck and say a little prayer for a BFP (big fat postive...'pregnancy test') :)

FUN weekend "minus the washer" plus MORE!

HEY all....this weekend was a blast. It started with us going to see Jessika!!! BOY do we miss her. Then yesterday I went shopping with my momma (GOOD NEEDED TIMES) while Zach went to work. My mom and I had alot of fun (as most of you know it's hard for us to do anything with each other b/c of her "health" I won't go into details b/c it can turn into a LONG story...but health wise my mom isn't going good and hardly leaves her house unless it's to go to the Dr. but we had a BLAST!!!! Well anyways, when I got home Zach and I tried to work on our washing for a second ((YOU see last Sunday it went OUT...well it works it just won't drain)...well we figured out it is our "timer" which is just stopping before it can drain...so we ordered the part and now we just have to wait for it to come in...but in the mean time we have to wash clothes at my moms...((I CAN'T STAND washing clothes at other peoples house...I am sooo anal about the way I wash my clothes and where I wash them at...haha)) SOO today we are going to my moms!!

THERE IS ALOT going on this week!!!

OUR 2 year wedding anniversary is TUESDAY...WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?!!?!?! I am so excited!!!! Zach is such an amazing husband and I am so blessed to call him MY husband. Every single day of my life I fall more and more in love with him.

ERIC my brother in law is coming in town THURSDAY, he is staying until next Friday and we are all driving up to DFW together (b/c we leave then). We are so excited to see him!!!!)

We are going to San Marcus this weekend to float the river with Eric, some of his friends and JESSIKA!!!! WOO HOO!!! We are so excited and can't wait.

Check back in for TONS of pictures!!!!!

About Infertility

I often get the comment "I couldn't be in your shoes" well...honestly I never thought I could be in MY own shoes either...but after time I have learn to accept this situation. God has a plan and he knows what he is doing. I have the following posted on my Myspace blog...but I thought I would post it here too. Alot of people wonder what Zach and I go through and this is the best article I have found that describes infertility:

Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.

As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases. Most infertility treatments involve using hormones, which alter the user's moods. The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom.

A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:

*They will eventually conceive a baby.
*They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
*They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.

Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.


Don't Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.
Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.


Don't Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy. Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.



Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.


Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man's sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another store?" There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to pursue this option.


Don't Play Doctor
Once your infertile friends are under a doctor's care, the doctor will run them through numerous tests to determine why they aren't able to conceive. There a numerous reasons that a couple may not be able to conceive. Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an "expert" on the subject. Let your friends work with their doctor to diagnose and treat the problem. Your friends probably already know more about the causes and solutions of infertility than you will ever know. You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject. The problem comes when you try to "play doctor" with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about. The doctor knows more about the causes and solutions; let your friends work with their doctor to solve the problem.


Don't Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don't make crude jokes about your friend's vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or "Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination" or "I'll carry your baby for you" are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.


Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
The number one rule is DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you. Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes." I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends' new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.


Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting. Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families. Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.


Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones. Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband's sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend's privacy, and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.


Don't Push Adoption
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose.



So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load.

Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren't going through this alone.

Monday Morning Appt

Well I went to the Dr this morning....and I ovulated over the weekend. They are kinda concerned the follicle might not be "as" mature as they normally are, but hey...it dropped and thats all that matters to me! I don't know exactly WHAT DPO (days past ovulation) I am so we will just say 1DPO to just be on the safe side.

They couldn't see the tissue that they "think" is endo, b/c of all the fluid (which indicates I ovulated). But they did say it's nothing to be too worried about right now. My ovary of course is still pretty poly cystic, but that won't change b/c of my PCOS.

SOOO...it went fairly well. I ovulated...I am 1DPO and only about 10-14 days until we find out how this cycle ends....keep me in your prayers :o)

Thursday's Dr Appt.

YEA for me...I remembered to update yall :o) Well the appt. didn't go AS I expected it. For the past 6 months of getting follicle scans and trigger shots and whatnot, I have ALWAYS had my trigger shot and big enough follicles my day 12...well not this month. My follicles aren't even close to being the "right" size. They are measuring 12, that means in 3 days they ONLY grew 2mm (They are suposed to grow about 3mm a day). SOO I go back on Monday to see if they grew any, they said I "might" ovulate this weekend...so we will see!!! They also told me that my right ovary is looking more and more poly-cystic. Which we already knew I had PCOS, but they said it looks to be getting worse. I am already on meds for it, so they are just going to monitor it right now. They also said I had something (cloudy tissue) in my uterus, they arn't 100% sure what it is...but said it looks to be my endometrious forming again...I again will be monitored on this as well b/c they did say there is a chance it is nothing. SOO I should know more Monday! I did have ONE bit of GOOD news....my lining has GROWN...Monday it was a 6 and Thursday it was almost a 9 which anything over an 8 is GREAT!!!! Soooo thats my GOOD news for now.

Everything else will fall into place. We did discuss that my body "needs" a break off all of the meds, so next months break will be good. I honeslty can't say I would have planned on taking this break if my "fertile" time didn't fall while we were staying with my inlaws, but I can honestly say I am glad it fell this way now, b/c I can't wait to not have to take any meds this next cycle. SHE DID SAY that my body most likely WON'T ovulate without them, but it's ok...it will be a well needed break cycle. THEN the NEXT cycle if we are still not pregnant we will be moving to IUI. SOO wish us luck with that, hopefully we won't have to do that...but from the looks of it with this cycle being crazy, and then next being off the meds I honestly think we will be doing the IUI.

If you asked me a few months ago I would have told you my biggest fear was moving to an IUI, but now I am so excited to move to the next step. I think I was so scared, b/c who wants to "have" to move on to the "other" options?? But after talking to my Dr about everything, Zach and I talking about everything, and LOTS of prayer...we decided it's a great idea. So we are approaching this new journey with a positive attitude!

Thanks for checking in :o) Love yall!!!!!! I will update again after Monday's appt.

Time Flies

WOW...where has the year gone. Last time I updated this was a year ago when we were getting back from Mexico! Yes yes...I got in "trouble" from some family members and friends about not keeping this updated, and if it wasn't for a friend updating hers I probably would have forgotten "Again". Sorry... :o(

OK...so let me catch yall up on a WHOLE year and what all yall have missed. As you all know Zach and I have been trying to concieve our first kido for a little over 2 years now. It all started with cervical dysplaysia, which we finally got that cured and we found out I wasn't ovulating, I had PCOS (poly-cystic-ovary syndrome), I had an HSG performed last November which indicated my right ovary was blocked, I under went surgery Dec 07' to unblock this tube, and quite a bit of scar tissue (possibly endometrious) was removed. I have been on Femara (new fertility med) for 6 months now. I go get ultrasounds done every month to see how my follicles (eggies) look, they have to measure 20mm before I can recieve a trigger shot (this helps the egg drop as I don't release eggs on my own). I went Monday the 5th, which was on Cycle day (CD) 10. My biggest follicle at that time was 10 and my lining was at a 6 (they like your lining to be above an 8, even though a 6 "can" hold a pregnancy) I go back this Thursday, so i will do my best to remember to update yall :o) . As for now thats where we stand as far as trying for a little one. We know that in God's time it will happen. We have grown so close with all of this, and I do believe we were put in this situation for a reason. Not to say that any mother doesn't appriciate there children, but I think we will have a different kind of appriciation for our child. God is amazing and we have so much faith and hope that our blessing will one day be in our arms.

As for other "Events" in this past year/or upcoming events.

* His family moved to PA :o( we went up there to visit with them last September and we had a blast, it was soo good to catch up with everyone. We sure do miss them!!!!

* Peanut and Ginger under went surgery a couple weeks ago to "finally" get fixed. Peanut did wonderful, but since Ginger is so tiny she has minor complications, but I am glad to say she is A-OK now...both are still as spoiled as EVER!

* Zach and I are approcahing our 2 year wedding anniversary on the 20th of this month, and we are so excited.

* We are leaving at the end of May to go to Williamsburg, VA to go on Vacation with his parents. We are meeting them there. I wish we could see Eric, Beth, Anj, the kidos & the rest of the gang, but I am very thankful that we get to spend some time with them!

WELL....I think thats about for now. I will keep you updated. And I will try to upload some random pics of the past year....thanks for checking in and thanks for the prayers.

Love,

The Pifer's