Dear God

Dear God,

Every month, I obsess over my symptoms. I search the internet for gifts to give our parents when we share with them the news. I look for songs that would go well as a soundrack to a video that ends with "We're pregnant.." and a little photo of the first ultrasound. I think of ways to tell my husband. I decorate a nursery in my head. I search for fabrics, cribs, and for understanding.

I wait two weeks for nothing. I wait two weeks only to begin again. I wait two weeks for disappointment. I wait two weeks to turn to You and ask You "Why? Why, God, why?" From here on out, I promise I am taking You on this journey with me. I am not going to wait until I fall apart or "need you". I need You now and always. And so I'm asking for Your help.

Heavenly Father, I pray in my heart of hearts to create a little one in Your image. I pray for forgiveness and strength-and for the ability to get through the times when we fail. I pray for Your plan, and that You will do things in YOUR time, and NOT mine...as hard as that is sometimes. I pray for the willingness to accept what I am dealt, and to be thankful for the things I have been given, that so often I do not deserve. Lord, let this be a time of learning and a time of thankfulness. For I was born a woman, with my own gifts and characteristics that no one can match or re-create. Bless me on this journey. And bless those that struggle with me.

AMEN

All my love and devotion,

Tiffany