Thursday, April 30, 2009

Story Time Again...

I have three more stories for you, 2 are success stories (can I just say I LOVE success stories, it personally gives me so much hope!!!)...and the other is from another friend whom is fertile, however has watched myself as well as another couple battle this journey called “infertility”. As you all know I think it's so important to see (can we all say it together....) "ALL" sides of infertility ;) {I know I've probably said that a million times this week!} there are the goods...the bads...the uglys...it's important to see how it's changed fertile womens views, how it effects your loved ones and your parents! This is a long post, but I hope you enjoy these 3 sweet ladies stories :)

Ashlee is one of my friends, she is fertile…however she has watched me as well as another friend battle infertility…here are her thoughts:
"I will admit it; I was very lucky & conceived my first-born "without trying". Does that mean infertility doesn’t affect me? Heck no! It affects everyone, whether they know it or not. Of course not in the same way, but still affects them. All my life I feared the thought of not being able to become a Mom. I watched many people at our church struggle with conceiving (and carrying full-term) babies and I knew I could very well be one of them when I got older. Thankfully I wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know the seriousness of it all. I watched close friends of ours try & try & try. After no luck conceiving on their own, they personally decided on adoption to expand their family & that was such a miracle for them! They now have a beautiful little daughter. I also watch other friends still struggling to conceive after several years. I cannot at all say I "know what they're going through" or really "understand" the heartache of it all, but I am aware. That's all I can be is aware & be there for them throughout all this & help others be aware too. My daughter is definitely something I have never & will never take for granted. I wish some other parents would feel the same way. Anytime I get stressed out with my daughter or feel self-conscience about my after-pregnancy body, I never forget some women would truly give anything to have stretch marks or to be up all night with a child of their own."


I went to school with Amanda, we were in different grades and really only knew “who each other were”…she suffered from infertility, but like many she has proven that “miracles DO happen” Here are her thoughts:
Tiffany -I've been reading your blog all week just as I do every day multiple times. I had no idea this week was NIAW! Until I started keeping up with your blog way back when, I had never thought anything about infertility. But then when Justin & I started trying for our first child and ran into infertility problems, I felt so blessed to know there was someone (YOU!) I could talk to who would understand where I was coming from. It felt like God put you in my path to let me know that I wasn't alone and that there were other people suffering from the same thing. I want to share our story with you to share with others, so that they may know it occurs more times than many people realize. I pray everyday for you and Zach (ya'll are also on the prayer list at our church) and know that ya'll will be blessed with your little angel baby very soon!Our Story -Justin and I were married in October 2006. At that time, we both wanted to immediately start our family, but at the same time new that waiting for a few months would be best for us; therefore, I continued on birth control pills until February 2007. At this time, Justin and I decided that we would just let nature take its course and thought that if we were meant to conceive a child at that time, then with God's will it would happen. Just as everyone else, we weren't in our minds trying, but at the same time we weren't preventing either. I wasn't going to what I thought at that time was any extremes: no worrying about cycle days, no checking BBT, no ovulation predictor kits, not even testing at home before my missed period. We honestly thought if it was meant to happen then I would be late for starting my next cycle, and then would do all of the what I thought was normal things.However, after 6 months of what felt like failure to me, I saw my OB/GYN for my regular yearly checkup In August 2007. We discussed the situation and the fact that I had been experiencing variations from just a few days to weeks in the lengths of my cycles, and she said she wanted us to really start trying and concentrating on conceiving if that was what we wanted, and she would see my back in six months if I was not pregnant by that time. During the next six months, I become a freak with writing everything down on the calendar and keeping track of everything including my cycle length, which at its longest was 64 days. We tried everything you could imagine right down to getting ready to stand on my head to let everything soak it.February 2008 rolled around, and I was not yet pregnant, so I made that return trip to my OB/GYN knowing what she was going to say. At this appointment, she diagnosed me with unexplained infertility and wanted to do several tests including an HSG and progesterone count for me and a semen analysis for Justin. It was too late in my cycle at that time to complete all of the tests immediately, so we were to wait until my current cycle ended and have the tests completed in March, and then return to her in April.My appointment in April, was the first time that it actually hit me that there was something wrong with me. I knew it was all my fault, and for the first time felt that we may honestly never be able to have children. I cried the entire day of the appointment, and even made Justin go with me to the doctor. We were both so scared at what she was going to say, but needless to say Justin held up much better than I did. All of the tests came back perfectly fine and above normal including a progesterone level of 28.7. Therefore, I was to start the normal regimen of medicine (Clomid 50mg days 3-7);however, the doctor said she would not have me on the Clomid for more than six months, and if I wasn't pregnant within the next six months, she would refer us to an actual fertility specialist for an IUI or IVF if needed.Needless to say the next several months were a complete roller coaster ride of emotions for me. I went from a 50 mg dose of Clomid to 150 mg dose over the first three months alone. I would be completely fine one moment and then crying my eyes out the next. Justin and I decided to tell very few people about our situation, because I felt like it wasn't something everyone needed to know. We did decide to add our names to the prayer list at church but just for prayers of courage and strength, because we knew that of all things, we needed prayers the most. We also did have to tell his parents since we both worked at the same place, and I would be needing off more than normal for doctor's visits. At this same time is when I began talking to Tiffany about the my situation, because I felt like even though we didn't' know each other, besides the fact that we both went to the same high school, she was the one person who I just knew would understand and be able to help me through the emotional ride the next several months would bring, and she did more for me than I could ever imagine. During this same time, I endured the fact that it seemed every girl I ran into was finding out she was pregnant or close to delivery including my two absolute very best friends. During this time, Justin and I also grew closer as a couple and most importantly closer to God in our faith although I still questioned him many times when month after month I still only saw one line or a low progesterone level one month after a very high one the month before.After four months (September 2008), I finally got tired of being at the point where I was walking around in an emotional grave. I didn't' care about anything or anyone and felt like an absolute failure. Justin and I had finally come to the fact that it basically wasn't meant to be and we had given up all hope; we just knew we were destined for the IUI or steps beyond that. I had prepared myself that the end was coming near in my eyes and that if I wasn't pregnant at the end of November, I was okay with that because there were many children in the world who need a mommy and a daddy instead of a mother and a father.October 2008, rolled around and it was a very busy month for us, but we knew we had to fit everything in our schedule. During that month, we celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary, and were baptized and joined our local church where we had been attending since before we got married and where Justin had attended as a child. Later in the month, Justin was scheduled to go on a weekend fishing trip with all of the guys from work, and I was scheduled to chaperone the local girl scout troop's weekend trip to Houston. The bad thing is both of these trips fell at the beginning and the end of what would be my most fertile days. Upon my return from Houston, I woke up on Sunday, November 8, 2008 (day 26 of my cycle) spotting and thinking oh great here goes another month down the drain, but I decided to take a HPT just to clarify my point, and boy was my point wrong...there were two lines instead of one! I didn't' think it was accurate, so I happened to have another brand as well, so I tried it also and got the same results. I immediately called Justin and told him to get home immediately. We were both in shock and still quite unsure if the results were accurate, so I drove into Waco and bought 4 different brands of HPT with even two of them being digital ones. Over the next two days I took all of the tests and got the same results. I scheduled myself to see my doctor on Wednesday to confirm the results.As, I sit here writing this, I am currently 29 weeks pregnant expecting our first baby girl in July. Still to this day, I do not understand why we had to go through everything we did, and more especially why anyone has to go through it. However, the one thing I do know is that God has a plan for everyone and everything. It is His responsibility to take care of those things, and ours to trust Him (which most of us have a hard time doing.) I do not think I could every be as strong as Zach and Tiff are, and I pray for you guys daily! I know your time is coming soon when I will read those two precious words "We're Pregnant" on your blog! I love you and you will never know how much you have done for me over the past two years!
Amanda


Heather wrote me this week and told me her success story…THANK you Heather! I love hearing these!!
Hi Tiffany~We don't know each other, so I hope you don't mind me writing you (although, you did say contact you!!) Anyway, I was led to your blog through several others & felt the need to comment.While mine is not a "true" infertility story, I hope that it will help, at least to some extent. In high school (which was early to mid-90's), I was told that I had Level 4 endo & would not be able to get pregnant without help of fertility drugs. At that time, I couldn't see myself with kids so it didn't really upset me too much. I married my husband in 1998 and a few months later I started having a terrible time with ovarian cysts. I went in for a sono & honestly, got really irritated with the techs who kept asking me if there was any way I could be pregnant (you would think I would have caught on, right?!). I finally yelled at one & told her it was medically impossible for me to be pregnant so please leave me alone. She looked at me like I was crazy, then pointed to a dot on the screen, saying "You see that? That's your baby's heartbeat". It finally sunk in but I still couldn't really believe it. For that matter, neither could my doctor. I ended up switching dr's, but even the new dr told me to be thankful. Our daughter was born on Thanksgiving of '99.I didn't hold my breath about having another baby, but in 2000 I got pregnant again (without the help of infertility drugs again), but lost that baby. Still, I got pregnant yet again and had a little boy in 2001.Anyway, long story short, we now have FIVE children (and no multiples) and did not need help getting pregnant with any of them. In fact, baby #4 was an IUD baby, so it's yet another miracle that he was born full-term and perfectly healthy. I have had dr's tell me I was misdiagnosed (but yet they go in & still find cysts & endo everywhere); that I was lucky I got pregnant the first time and she "cured" me of the endo - that one I don't believe, but whatever. Basically I baffle most of the dr's I see, because medically speaking, there is absolutely no way I should have had all these babies. I suspect I will never really know how or why this happened.I hope that something works out for you soon.

{ Hopefully these were a little more upbeat vs. the one from my mother that I posted yesterday :) }

9 comments:

~the mccrarys~ said...

i sure love those success stories as well! did you see on kellys korner she had 43 praises in the past 6 months of just pregnancies & adoptions?!

Lori said...

I am so happy to hear more success stories. I think this was a great idea to do what you are doing this week. It gives me hope to read these stories!!

adam and christie said...

Tiffany,my name is Christie, I got your blog link off of Shelly Oliver's blog and I read your story and you are an inspiration for many women. To see your faith in God get stronger and not waiver is such a blessing to see. I am a mother of two wonderful gifts from God. It took my husband and I 9 months to conceive our first child. I had some of your same thoughts that I would never be a mom and that scared me. I knew that it was all in Gods timing that we would have a child someday and we now have two. My family was affected by this same thing. My brother and his wife had some problems conceiving a baby. She has PCOS and went through many IUI's and medicine treatments. They had 4 unsucessful IUI's. They did several rounds of medicine and that didn't work. She and Shelby found out around Christmas 2007 that they were pregnant with their miricle baby Cade. I wanted you to know that I am praying for you and just know that God's timing is perfect and sweet.

Tiffany said...

Love the stories, thank you for sharing them.

Mimi said...

So cool! I love those stories!

Ashley said...

I just love all of your post that you have been doing!! I can't wait till you are able to write your OWN success story!!

Ape said...

I LEFT YOU SOMETHING ON MY BLOG

Veronica said...

Hey Tiffany,

Thanks for sharing all of these awesome stories. They were such a blessing to me!

McGee Family said...

Tiffany~
I am so very happy that I encouraged you, even in just a small way. It makes me feel so much better. And, I do agree with your other friend - I wish more people would appreciate, love, and value their children. So many don't, and it's heartbreaking.
I know that when you do have your "Pifer Bean" that he or she will be so loved and cherished. That will be one lucky baby!!!


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