My mom called me a couple days ago and asked if she could write something to put on my blog for NIAW—she actually “wrote” it so I had to re-type it, which was hard to do. You all know my mothers heath issues, if you’re new you can read here about them. This letter wasn’t easy for me, but it’s important for everyone to know “ALL” sides of infertility. Like I’ve said many times this week, infertility doesn’t only effect the person going through it…it effects you friends, you family and you spouse…this week has shown me “Even more” that I am NOT alone. My friends are amazing, you all are so amazing, my family is by my side every step of the way and so is my husband.
Here is my mom’s letter to you all in honor of NIAW:
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week; this week is very important to my daughter. I found out she was wanting friends and family to write about there feelings of infertility, how it has effected them and what having an infertile daughter means to me—I immediately called her and asked if I could write something for her “blog”. She agreed only if I “don’t cry and don’t get upset”…that’s hard to do when something stands in the way of your child’s wants and wishes, however I’ll try to do my best.
This journey has defiantly been a test of Faith for my daughter and our family. It’s hard not knowing whether or not the miracle were praying for will ever happen, I want to be a grandmother more and more with every day that passes. I want to see my babies face light up when she tells me she is pregnant, when she feels the first kick or hears the heart beat for the first time. I want to see her expression when she see’s her child for the first time.
I’ve recently discovered some health issues that I’m suffering from and this only scares me more. I may never experience being a grandmother, not being able to watch them grow into a strong happy family that I know they will be. I yearn to be the one she calls with her questions about motherhood. I live for the day she calls and tells me she is “Pregnant”. It’s hard not being able to fix this problem for her, I’m “Momma”…I’ve always been the one with the answers. She comes to me and I solve it; that’s my job and that’s what I do. Why can’t I fix this? Why can’t I fix my daughters problems, why does she have to go through this? I know her heart breaks at times; I’ve wiped her tears away. But she’s far stronger than I am. Whatever comes her way she faces it with her head held high, her husband beside her and momma behind her.
I pray every night that doctors will find away to help her and others in her shoes, so she too can experience her own precious miracle that she deserves so much. God gives everyone a special gift and a special place to use it. Maybe her gift is to help others understand and cope with a life of infertility. I try to keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how long it takes, if it’s God’s plan it will happen. God has a reason for everything! Thank you for praying for my daughter, as well as me :)!
You all are in my prayers!
I love you always and Forever baby girl,