Wednesday, April 29, 2009

My Mom's Thoughts on Infertility

My mom called me a couple days ago and asked if she could write something to put on my blog for NIAW—she actually “wrote” it so I had to re-type it, which was hard to do. You all know my mothers heath issues, if you’re new you can read here about them. This letter wasn’t easy for me, but it’s important for everyone to know “ALL” sides of infertility. Like I’ve said many times this week, infertility doesn’t only effect the person going through it…it effects you friends, you family and you spouse…this week has shown me “Even more” that I am NOT alone. My friends are amazing, you all are so amazing, my family is by my side every step of the way and so is my husband.

Here is my mom’s letter to you all in honor of NIAW:

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week; this week is very important to my daughter. I found out she was wanting friends and family to write about there feelings of infertility, how it has effected them and what having an infertile daughter means to me—I immediately called her and asked if I could write something for her “blog”. She agreed only if I “don’t cry and don’t get upset”…that’s hard to do when something stands in the way of your child’s wants and wishes, however I’ll try to do my best.

This journey has defiantly been a test of Faith for my daughter and our family. It’s hard not knowing whether or not the miracle were praying for will ever happen, I want to be a grandmother more and more with every day that passes. I want to see my babies face light up when she tells me she is pregnant, when she feels the first kick or hears the heart beat for the first time. I want to see her expression when she see’s her child for the first time.

I’ve recently discovered some health issues that I’m suffering from and this only scares me more. I may never experience being a grandmother, not being able to watch them grow into a strong happy family that I know they will be. I yearn to be the one she calls with her questions about motherhood. I live for the day she calls and tells me she is “Pregnant”. It’s hard not being able to fix this problem for her, I’m “Momma”…I’ve always been the one with the answers. She comes to me and I solve it; that’s my job and that’s what I do. Why can’t I fix this? Why can’t I fix my daughters problems, why does she have to go through this? I know her heart breaks at times; I’ve wiped her tears away. But she’s far stronger than I am. Whatever comes her way she faces it with her head held high, her husband beside her and momma behind her.

I pray every night that doctors will find away to help her and others in her shoes, so she too can experience her own precious miracle that she deserves so much. God gives everyone a special gift and a special place to use it. Maybe her gift is to help others understand and cope with a life of infertility. I try to keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how long it takes, if it’s God’s plan it will happen. God has a reason for everything! Thank you for praying for my daughter, as well as me :)!

You all are in my prayers!

I love you always and Forever baby girl,
Momma

20 comments:

The Millers said...

So.....I've def. been teary eyed on most of your blogs this week. BUT this by far is the best one. You are such an amazing girl and it seems like your mom is just as amazing as you.

Stephanie said...

Oh Tiff.....your mom is the sweetest person!!!! I want you to know that I'm praying for both of you...your day will come..I just know it!!! and when it does...I'll be right here to congratulate you because I am so inspired by your journey.

Ape said...

Oh momma Adelle. I am in tears right now and its killing me. Its breaking me apart and I know that this is supposed to be something positive and it is. Its just hard during the process to realize that this is truly what everyone is experiancing with you. I mean Ive known from a personal view, but seeing it from family is harder. I mean so many people are learning about you and what yall have gone through. Weve seen friends points of views, success stories as well as mom. I now know where you get your strength from. Your mother is just as AMAZING as you are. Please know that I ♥ you guys!!!

G & H said...

Holy moly i am a big ball of tears!!! that was so beautiful!!!

Nichole said...

Tiffany - Your mom is amazing. What a beautiful letter. You have definitely sparked the water works my dear friend. What a great idea for NIAW!

Dianne said...

I love how she says your husband beside you and her behind you. That is so beautiful!

Shelly said...

aw thats so sweet. my mama feels the same way! uve got a ton of ppl behind u! im still prayin!!

blessedmomto7 said...

Thanks for bringing me to tears MOMMA. So wonderful!

Stuart and Sarah Creamer said...

Very well put. I know this struggle I am going through is just as hard on my mom as well. Like you said...your the mommy, you want to fix things for your daughter. My mom says the same things. All we can do is pray and have the faith and hope that God will get us through it! Someday!

Ashley said...

HOLY MOLY the water works are a goin'!!! How were you even able to type these sweet words that your mom wrote for you?? This letter is sooo amazing and I LOVE that she shared her thoughts on it!!

Love ya-
Ash

La La said...

Thinking of you both.

Megan said...

Wow. Totally made me cry! Such a sweet momma!

LisaL said...

Hi Tiffany! I found your blog tonight and spent some time reading through your posts for NIAW. It really brought back some icky memories for me. I suffered with infertility and after many tests and attempts we were told that I had "old eggs" at 31 years old. We had our last failed IVF in Aug '02. That December I got pregnant with my daughter (using progesterone cream) and delivered a healthy baby in 9/03. I went on to get pregnant two more times after that, too. (lost one at 9 1/2 wks then had my son in 11/05). I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are in my prayers. There is no way around it... infertility SUCKS!
Lisa

~the mccrarys~ said...

that's a very touching letter she sent to you. you can put her handwritten copy in your first born's baby book & show them when they get older because you WILL be a mommy one day!

twondra said...

Tears in my eyes! Wow. What an amazing mom. She's such a sweetheart. I hope you save that handwritten letter for your baby to read some day.

Love ya. (((HUGS)))

Mimi said...

Ok, I am speechless.... I am in tears and I absolutely LOVE your mother. I wish mine was as supportive. What a beautiful thing to say about you honey. That is so very special. I pray that she gets to be the granmother she longs to be. That you will be the one to make that happen. Praying for you honey.

Love,
Kami

Lori said...

What a beautiful letter, you have an amazing Mom!!

Cary Hairbows said...

This really touched my heart. ((((HUGS))))

Veronica said...

What a special and sweet post. I am choking back tears right now. Just want you to know I'm still praying for all of you guys!

Love,
Veronica

Amy said...

What more can I say than you have a wonderful Mother..you of course already know that. Wow, I'm in tears...how humbling to read this. I pray for your mom everyday as I do you.

Love ya!


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