Resolutions

Do you have a resolution?

Zach and I normally bring in the new year with some...

Either eat healthier, go to the gym more, tell your loved ones just that 'extra' time how much you love them...

There are alot...

But this year (beside the normal) we don't really have any...

Do you?

If so what are they?!


I do know that I will CONTINUE to be patient...and will CONTINUE to pray....and will CONTINUE to have faith in our Lord...I will CONTINUE to believe that he has HUGE plans in store for us...

May 2011 be the year that all YOUR dreams come true!

2011

Will 2011 be 'our year'

Will it be the year that I see 2 pink lines...

Will I finally be able to tell my husband he will be a father...

Will I be able to feel a child move in my womb?

Will 2011 be the year all our dreams come true?

Will I be able to decorate a nursery...

Will 2011 be the year I can announce to all my friends and family that we are pregnant?


I wish I could tell you...

I wish i could say 'yes' and know that it 'WILL' be...

But I don't!

AND I ACCEPT THAT.

I do however know that 2011 will be an AMAZING year, we WILL be able to move forward, and for that I am beyond thankful!!!

CHRISTmas

CHRISTmas....it was unbelievable!

Christmas eve I had to work until really late, thankfully we were able to make the late late Christmas Eve service, it was amazing. It's candlelight toward the end and it's breathtaking. So amazing!

Christmas day we woke up 'earrrrrrrly' and very eager to spend the whole day with family. We did presents (Santa spoiled me this year)...we watched a few movies, and then we started on Christmas dinner...ate and munched on food all day (I feel like I've gained 5 pounds just today!

My mom, her boyfriend and my grandma Perk came by for dinner, I can't tell you just how much it meant to have a little of my family with all of Zach's family...everyone was enjoying everyone's company-it was nice! After diner my mom wasn't feeling to good so they left...a few hours later my other set of grandparents stopped by to see my inlaws!

I was blessed with alot of love this Christmas...presents...food...fun...laughter...but the best of all I had alot of family at one time, and that's priceless to me!

I hope you and yours enjoyed this amazing Christmas Day!

Merry Christmas

From Our Home to Yours....

We hope everyone has a marvelous Christmas!!!

Remember the REASON FOR THE SEASON!

Merrrrrrry Christmas from The Pifer's

Divorced Families

Are any of y'all apart of divorced families? I know I can't be the only one...

My parents got divorced when I was just a baby. I know they did what they felt was right, and I'm not one to judge them for that. I believe they have always had my best interest at heart, and although times were rough without my mom and dad by my side at the same time I don't blame them.

There divorce has also brought a few special people into my life as well, without there divorce I wouldn't have a sweet (well hard-headed-bratty) brother, whom bratty or not-I love dearly! I also wouldn't have gotten a sweet step mother who is like one of my best friends...and my mom has a really nice boyfriend who cares so deeply for her. So although at times I often wish I could have my mom and dad back together just to see what a happy normal family looks like I stop and realize without there divorce I wouldn't have been blessed with some amazing people in my life...

Now with that all said...

Being apart of a divorced family stinks at times!!!

In fact, it absolutely kills me at times, I want to curl in a little ball and go into hiding.

I'm 26 years old, my parents have been divorced a good 25 years. I know there were harsh feelings between them in the beginning, but you would think after 25 flippin' years they could learn to get along for ME! I don't care if they continue to hate each other, that's there own issues...I just want a couple days out of a year with my whole family together, is that really too much to ask?!

My in-laws are coming in town for Christmas this year...they haven't spent Christmas in TX since Zach and I were married and they moved away. I would love nothing more to have his family AND mine together for one holiday, chances are with them living a few states away this won't happen often...so I honestly didn't think for my split family being together with his family for a couple hours was too much to ask....I guess it was.

I heard excuses after excuses....but the one that really broke my heart was 'well you know -so and so- will be there, and that wouldn't work out'...so and so in case your wondering is one of my parents...(although I can post whatever I feel needed on my blog, b/c its more like a diary to me, I do want to leave out exactly which parent was making a big deal over all of this...just for fairness, and because I don't want to point fingers...I just need advice and to vent about the situation!!)

You know my wedding was the last time I had my whole family together...and I can't tell you the last Christmas or holiday period I've had my mom and dad together. I know to some it may not be a big deal but to me it is, I truly envy children who can go home for the holidays and walk in to a big hug from there mom and dad!! My mom and dad don't even have to talk to each other, they could ignore each other the whole time BUT both be in my house with my inlaws on Christmas and I think I would be the happiest girl for that whole hour or two hours they were there...

Maybe it's selfish of me to ask them to put there pride away for just a couple hours to humor me and to make my day good...but that's how I feel!! Maybe I shouldn't worry about it so much, but I can't help it!

There is no secret my mom won't outlive my dad...in fact her Dr's have asked her to make sure her affairs are in order due to her health looking so bad...before it becomes my moms turn to fly away to heaven (which I can't even bare the thought of that) I would love nothing more than my family together at least one time! At least ONE time!

Am I bad for thinking this way? Am I selfish for thinking after 25 years no matter how much hate you have for each other you could put it aside for your child? For years I have dealt with being stuck in the middle, for years I was torn between my mom and my dad...don't you think there comes a time where they could half way come together for ME!?

I love my family dearly, divorced or not and like I mentioned above due to there divorce I have been blessed with some amazing people in my lives...however being apart of a divorced family is hard and it hurts so bad at times. I think sometimes the parents don't realize how hard it is on their children...even after 25 years...

Sorry to vent...but I would love to hear to hear from any divorced families out there...how do y'all deal with it? Will it ever end?

Questions Galore...

I have received about 20 emails asking me why we are waiting to proceed with our infertility treatments since ins. will cover it now. First I have to wait 3o days anyways, with the beginning of the new year and Zach taking me to Puxatony, PA on my birthday in early February it just makes sense to at least wait a couple months after the New Year. God blessed us with patience throughout this almost 5 years, and a couple more months will not hurt us...not to mention that I have just started a new job, although my boss is more than understanding of our situation and knows all about it I want to get a couple months under my belt before I am going out of town for treatments. There is also a fertility clinic in Temple which is only 30-45 minutes away (closer than the one we have been going to in Austin) that Zach and I want to have a consult with. We love our fertility clinic in Austin, but if we have a connection with this one, and there closer we would prefer to have that...so this will be a slow process, BUT it will be a process. We are not going to jump into anything just because we have coverage now (well almost now...in 30 days)...We have walked patiently together through this journey and we will continue to do that. But rest assured, y'all will be one of the first to know when we take this step... :)

By the way, I have a new blog layout courtesy of Jenn at Muchkin Land Designs, she did a wonderful job-I love it!! If my new blog button didn't carry over to your page and you would like to grab it feel free :)

Happy

This smile hasn't left my face...Have I mentioned just how happy I am, I knew one way or another we would be able to proceed, in His timing. God is so great, we are so grateful for this opportunity!

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God is Great

I've been patient...

I've prayed...and prayed...

I've honestly come inches away from just giving up hope...

God wouldn't allow that to happen...

He kept me positive...

He kept me sane...

And although I was leery, and questioned if I was making the right decision, I trusted in him to walk next to me as I took this new job.

This new job that lead me more pay...

As well as INSURANCE THAT 100% COVERS INFERTILITY TREATMENTS.

God is great! It goes to show, if you just have faith...God is ALWAYS by your side!

Thanks for the many prayers, they worked!! I won't be eligible to ins for 30 days, then I am sure we will wait a couple months and proceed with the treatments! How exciting to know that in 2011 we will for sure be able to proceed! Have I mentioned just how awesome God is!?

Coincidence or Not?

Before I proceed let me just ask you all to PLEASE keep your fingers (and toes) crossed...and anything else you are able to cross as I am not 100% sure about the following just yet...

BUT....

I think Talbots insurance covers infertility...it mentioned in my hand book about infertility (but didn't give the details)...so I started Googleing about Cigna when I came across 'Cigna, Talbots, Infertility'...so then I started Googleing and researching even more...

I found the following (plus more) in several locations...

Talbots (All States)
All IF tx including IVF (Cigna); Company offers Cigna HMO 3 IVF attempts, bloodwork, & ultrasounds. Plan offerred in all 50 states; must be Full-time or Part-time 'B'. Adoption expenses may be reimbursed up to $3,000.

I know the part about the adoption is true because that IS listed in my handbook (so thats good news also!) But I am 80% sure that Talbots Ins. covers infertility...

I have ins. with my husband now, however his company is kicking all the spouses off IF they are eligible for coverage at there own employee....coincidence? This job pretty much feel in my lap...coincidence? Or is this part of God's whole plan!?

I am not getting my hopes up until I know for sure...but this would be a HUGE blessing. So please say a special prayer for us if you would...I'll keep y'all posted :)

Time Flies

I think I've said it a million times just this year, but TIME IS FLYING BY!

Where has this year gone!?!

It's December, pretty much mid December....Christmas is just around the corner! Are you done shopping?! I am! Yay!! I am officially done! I finished last weekend! That doesn't mean that I might not find something from now till then that I 'have' to get someone, haha...but I'm done and can relax!

Zach's family will be arriving on Christmas eve to stay a whole week with us, his grandparents haven't ever seen our house (which it's nothing at all to brag about...it's just a little ol' house) but still, Zach is very excited for them to come!

I have alot to post...just mostly random stuff, I know my blog post are far and few between right now, I'm trying hard...I promise! Work just keeps me busy, which is nice at times...keeps my mind off of other things, esp. around the holidays. It's easy to get depressed and I am determined to stay positive through this whole Christmas!

Well....I threw this 'random...no point...useless' post in before I headed to work, I hope you all have a super day, and if you haven't finished shopping for Christmas, Happy Shopping :)

Christmas Time is Here!!

I absolutely LOVE decorating for Christmas!! Here are just a few pictures of our house!

Thanksgiving Dinners

We had a total of 3 Thanksgivings this year...one on Thanksgiving day with my brother in law, the day after with my grandparents in Valley Mills, and one the Saturday after at our house...

I am stuffed and totally over turkey, we had it for leftovers quite a bit already and I think I'm turkeyed-out! ha!!

We normally put our Christmas decor out on the Saturday after Thanksgiving once we have finished eating; however things were a little backwards this year so we ended up putting them up on Thanksgiving day, and my wonderful brother in law helped...it was soo nice for Zach to have someone help him with the outside lights vs. me...ha!!

Here are some pictures that we took during our 'Thanksgivings' (ignore the Christmas decor as there is a post coming esp. with Christmas decor pics...haha)

Momma and I (this is the best she has looked in a LONG time, I was excited!!)

It never fails, Zach will always blink right when the camera flashes!

Me and my grandmother's

(The following 3 pictures were taken with my phone then copied off of my facebook to put on here...please excuse the quality. Also, please excuse our looks. I have you know TX weather on Thanksgiving morning & early afternoon WAS cool, but it was a very nice day. We could have easily wore short sleeve shirts out and been comfortable...however that evening a cold front blew in and you would have thought it was -20 outside...burrrr! I was inside most of the time getting the inside decorated but wanted to run out and take a picture of the guys, they died laughing at my outfit I threw together really fast to snap some pictures and Zach said I 'had' to have my picture taken....) So there is your warning! Haha!!

Don't you love the giraffe rain boots, ha!

2 of my favorite men!

Happy Thanksgiving

From the Pifer Family to your family, I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Thankful

I am thankful that I have such an amazing, understanding, forgiving, and glorifying God in my life. Without our Lord and Savior I wouldn't be the women I am today. God has guided me and has built my strength during the trying times. Our God is a Big God, a God who can do anything, and I'm Blessed and honored to call him My God!!

I'm beyond thankful for my husband, Zachary. I loved him more than anything in the world 6+ years ago when we met, but with each day that passes I find myself falling in love with him even more. I can't begin to tell you how Thankful I am for the man who he is-for the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at me-for the way he holds my hand-for the kisses on my nose in the morning-for the sweet messages throughout the day-for the way he makes everyday worth while...he is my very best friend, my soul mate and has been my #1 support system throughout our infertility journey. A journey like this can break a marriage, and I'm thankful that we have climbed these mountains together, side by side and grown closer than we could ever imagine! To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be there world--I'm thankful to have him as 'my world' and that I'm 'his world'.

My family...if you add, a mom, a dad, a stepmom, a brother, amazing inlaws, 3 grandma's, 2 grandpas, a jillion aunts uncles and cousions that would = the best family on Earth! I am so Thankful for each person in my family, for they are there when I'm weak to pick me back up. They know the words to say to put a smile on my face. Family is God's greatest blessing, and boy has He blessed me with an extraordinary family. Other things in life, such as struggles may change us, we may move away and not talk often...but we start and end with family and we will always be! I'm so thankful!!!

My three dog-kids. Yes, they are like kids to us! In fact I don't think they realize there animals. I'm thankful for there sweet whimpering excitements when I come home from work, there sweet kisses and how excited they get when we give them a treat. I'm thankful for how they know when I'm sad or crying and they come and curl up right next to me and lick my tears off of my cheek. I'm blessed to have such amazing dogs who are well behaved, potty trained, and the sweetest (and cutest) ever!

I'm thankful for my friends and all of the sweet people I have meet through the years. This journey has taught me who were my true friends and who were not; I've learned a lot and have met so many amazing people. I'm thankful for all of my friends who have stuck by my side through thick and thin, I'm thankful for the ones who have let me share in there special moments with there children knowing that it meant so much to be to be apart of such important days, however those same people are so very caring of my feelings as well. I'm thankful for the many sweet emails I get on a daily basis from complete strangers, I'm thankful for the amazing comments from my readers, and for the close friendships I've built with some amazing people who I've met through this blog world. A friend is someone who understand your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are--I'm thankful for all of my friends!

I'm thankful for our struggles, infertility being one of them. I'm thankful that God picked us! Although 5 years ago I couldn't say that, I see the light now...I see how much this journey has changed us and has molded us into the couple and individuals we are now. It's amazing how certain things are placed in your life, things that seem as far from 'blessings' as possible, however those certain things that we often refer to as struggles are what we are most Thankful for. If it wasn't for infertility being in our life, I'm not sure I would be the lady I am today...


Difficulties are opportunities to better things; they are stepping stones to greater experience. Perhaps someday we will all be thankful for some temporary failure in a particular direction. When one door closes, another always opens. If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

My Big News...

This is BIG News to me, probably not y'all...but I'm UBBER excited and can't wait to share!!!

I wasn't really job searching, however I was presented with an opportunity I could not pass up.

I was offered a position as the Asst. Mgr at Talbots, the pay was better-the incentives were better. I have the potential to advance with the company in ways that I don't have where I am at now...the only negative of the whole thing was there will be times I have to work weekends; however it's only one or two weekends out of the month (not bad) and with ALL the positives, I couldn't pass it up. If you asked at the beginning of this year that I would be in the position I am now in retail I would have probably laughed, retail isn't something I thought I would want to do...but it's so much fun! I love the challenges, the people and the atmosphere.

I am extremely excited about this new transition, I can't believe things have fallen in place this way for me, but I am extremely blessed and thankful!!

I will start this new chapter in my life at the end of November.

Miscellaneous Catch Up's

Since I've been such a horrible blogger lately I thought I would try to catch y'all up on our crazy but wonderful life...

* My momma put in her order for a wheel chair, it's come that time and it won't be long till that will be her only mobility...I am thankful that she is alive given everything she has been through, so if she has to spend the majority of her time in a wheel chair I'm thankful that our God gave her that option! She decided to pick a blue wheel chair-she said it reminds her of me. My mom is stronger than I could ever imagine being, and I am s proud of her for accomplishing so much! Thank you for all the sweet emails asking about her...

*Speaking of emails, I have a huge list of people to add to the infertility support tab, I am getting through the names slowly but surely. So if your name isn't up there yet, I promise it will be soon :)

* I can't believe Thanksgiving is RIGHT around the corner...as well as Black Friday. This will be our first year where we will not be shopping on black Friday, partly because I will be working the day after this year (so I'll be on the other side of it)...thankfully we starting buying for Christmas at the beginning of this year, so we almost done with a lot of it! YAY!

* A few of Zach's family will be coming down for Christmas this year and spending it with us and my family, I am so extremely excited about this! It will be nice having both of our families together on a holiday!

*I have exciting news coming soon (and no it's not that I'm pregnant) in fact ya'll may not even find it to be exciting news, but I think it is...I'm extremely excited and can't wait to share the details!

* I finally had that lesion removed that my Dr. was concerned about, thankfully it came back clear-NO cancer; however it hurt like CRAZY...I had a few stitches which I had removed this past Friday...and I surprisingly lost another 3 pounds at the Dr's office...

*Speaking of 'pounds' I am almost to my goal weight...I am fitting in the size pants I was wearing my Sr. year of high school...I don't think I'll EVER see those double 0's again (which I honestly don't care to see) but I am right where I've wanted to be...YAY! I've lost a little over 20 pounds and I feel great. I just need to tone up some and I'll be 100% happy with the outcome :) --while on the whole weight issue, Zach has lost a little over 25. When I wanted to start watching my carbs and really dieting hardcore he said he would do it with me. (You see before he would never diet with me, so it always was so easy to just quit...I would sink back into my little rut and eat whatever he was eating--however this time he decided he would give it a try with me and let me tell you it helped SO much). I don't think he thought he would lose so much, he could be the 'spokesperson' for dieting now with as much as he tries to convience people how much it's worked for him, haha!

WELL...enough rambling from me...I just wanted to keep y'all posted on what our boring but beautiful imperfect life consist of :)

Beautiful Imperfect Life

IMperfect....that's who I am!

I'm not afraid to admit that I am imperfect. My body is imperfect, my actions are imperfect, my relationship with my husband is imperfect...my life is imperfect!

But, with all that said. I love my imperfect life and couldn't be happier with it! God has blessed me in many ways, one being that he make me imperfect!

Being imperfect has taught me a lot, it's made me grow in ways I never thought I could.

Infertility is apart of my imperfect life. I don't hate it anymore, in fact after almost 5 years it's become apart of me, a part of me that I'm thankful for.

I believe that God gives each person in life there own struggles to help them grow in the aspects that he believes they need to grow in...ours just happens to be infertility. We may or may not ever concieve our our child...Zach and I don't worry about the future anymore, we set our imperfect life in God's hands, for him to guide us down the path he wants us on.

So today, and everyday, I'm thankful for our BEAUTIFUL IMPERFECT LIFE!

It's November!!!

I can't believe it's already November!! This year has flown by!

I always try to count my blessings on a daily basis, however during Thanksgiving season I catch myself counting them even more...

I will be posting what I am Thankful for closer to Thanksgiving...but right now, I wanted to write and tell everyone 'Happy November'!!

I'd love for each of y'all to tell me something small y'all are thankful for in the mean time.

PICTURES

To spare you time, I only posted a portion of our family pictures...they are all posted on my facebook here, if you would like to see the rest. I LOVED how they turned out! I have so many favorites!! Thank you Khim, at Snaptastic Shots!

Me and my mommy!

Boo Cake Balls

Tonight I made one of my favorites....Red Velvet Cake Balls.

I made these for Zach's work and my work...it's my little 'treat' for them.

Recipe:

Bake your red velvet cake (any cake flavor will do, I just love Red Velvet)
Let cool for about 20-30 minutes
While warm crumble up in a large bowl and mix with the icing of your choice, I prefer cream cheese icing.
Place bowl in refrigerator to let cool for one hour

When done, proceed to rolling up your balls...be warned this can be messy.

Once your done, melt your white chocolate (I use almond bark) and dunk your balls in your chocolate...

Decorate if wanted, or serve the way they are... I let them cool in the fridge over night before serving for the chocolate has time to set.

SUPER easy recipe, a little time consuming but super easy and YUMMMMMY :)

Stressed

I don't know what it is, but lately I can honestly say I am beyond stressed. About what you ask? I'm not exactly sure, there has been a lot of things going on lately...

There has been alot on my mind...

I often wonder about my moms health, it's declining and it will only be a matter of months probably before she is in a wheelchair for good. She is beyond sad, I'm beyond sad for her. We saw it coming, but it's still not easy...losing your mobility is hard, and a hard to accept.

This is my first Holiday season in retail...that right there spells S-T-R-E-S-S! I already work long hours, but even longer hours will be coming along. I think it's just recently hit me that I will be working on Christmas Eve this year, and late at that...that means I'll either be late to Christmas celebration with family if I'll even be able to make it at all.

Then you have family in general, I know it's impossible for family (and friends) to be there for you 24/7 and I'm not exactly asking for that...maybe I'm just a 26 year old baby who is having a hard couple months and wants her family there for her...but it seems they only ask how I am when I write about it on here, or write a status on facebook...I guess I just need a hug...a BIG hug, and maybe a how are you. (I know, wah..wah...wah, can I complain any more?!!)

Then you have my health...it always weighs heavy on my heart...yes THANK THE GOOD LORD, nothing is wrong with my thyroid and my swollen lymph nodes are nothing (thank God!) but it's hard not to think about our journey at times...God has a special plan for Zach and I...we know this; we believe in this...and we have faith. But we still have our weak moments at times.

I could go on...it seems when your stressed things pile up fast, but I'm not going to waste y'alls time by listing my mile long list of 'poor me moments'... :) I'll be ok! In fact Zach promised to make me a Chocolate Sundae this afternoon, so that's already made things somewhat better.... :) I know, I know, I'm cheating on my diet...but you have to every now and then! :)

By the way...if you have my email address (the grandecom.net one) saved in your computer, please change it... it's now tiffpifer@yahoo.com I have been unable to respond to emails via my phone, which has been delaying some of my email responses back to y'all...so please send any emails to my yahoo account :)

A Preview just for You!

Zach and I, along with all 3 dogs, have recently had family pictures taken by the sweet Khim, at Snaptasticshots. She has posted a few 'previews' for us and I can hardly wait to see the rest...

Here is a sneak-peak.

Feeling a bit gray...

*I'm really digging my new gray finger nail polish...I was never into the grays, browns or darker (dull) colors until recently..

*I have been in a funk today, I blame it on being sick for two weeks straight, hopefully with my new meds I'll be out of this funk soon :)

*I did get all my blood test back and am happy to announce there is NOTHING wrong with my thyroid, the cyst are so small and are not effecting my thyroid at all- nor is this the cause/added caused to my infertility.

*I have a 'blogger' app on my phone now, so hopefully I'll be able to post a little more now :)

*Such a random blog post I know...

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My Big Green Tractor

The Heart of Texas Fair and Rodeo is in town (yay!), another reason why I love fall oh so much. Ashley and James went with Zach and I the other night to go watch Arron Watson...it was so crowded so we stayed near the back, which just so happened to be next to all of the 'big green tractors', we couldn't help but sneak some photos...

Love our Cowboys :)

FALL

I love fall, I love the smell in the air, the smell of pumpkin spice candles, I love how Starbucks starts making there holiday coffee....and I truly truly truly love to decorate for fall...my house is 98% done in fall colors anyways, just because I love them that much (they make for a cozy house)...

WELCOME FALL!!

Here are just a 'few' pics of my decorations....

Not really a 'fall' decoration, but I dress up things in my house with Raffia...

I have ivory candles here, however for fall I just replace them with my pumpkins...