Fun with Family and Friends

My little brother stayed the whole weekend with us recently--we had a blast!!! Saturday night we went out to eat and wanted to go play Putt-Putt...not known to us our best friends were making 'Putt-Putt plans' as well...so we just met up with them and had a grand ol' time!

I have to be honest--I suck at putt-putt...I did however manage to get 3 holes in one (don't ask how you can suck and get 3 holes in one..because I don't know...just know that I did NOT have any technique in those holes in one, luck was just on my side!) Even with those 3 lucky shots I came in second to last! (That should just tell you how awful all the other holes were!) ha!!

After putt-putt we decided to ride the go-karts! Talk about F-U-N! Zach was bummed because somehow he managed to pick the worst car and got lapped by me, James and Ashley-ha!!

Here are a couple pictures from the night!

We talked the man into taking a picture of us before our trip around!

Jay and Ash!

Me and my little brother!

Me and my honey!!

Ash and I

Here I am concentrating...

Zach did good!

Poor Dylan came in last!

Dylan, Me and Zach!

Our First Boat Ride

Well we took the boat out for our first ride, my little brother came as well!! We had a blast, it was a very exciting time! I am looking forward to many more trips out...here are a couple pics!

Perfect Day for a trip on the lake!

Zach and Dylan (the boat wasn't going anywhere, I just didn't get a pic of Zach driving...so this was a 'staged picture' cute huh?)

Loving Brother in Laws!

Me and my honey!

Lil' Bro and Me...

Zach napping/tanning...

A special note to my sweet mom #2...I promise Dylan wore his life jacket the whole time, it just so happened the very few pictures I got he was sitting down and didn't have it on ...just know he did have it on 95% of the time... :) Love ya!!

Why?

I always tell myself I will not do this....and to be honest I haven't in months.

But I caved...and to no surprise I didn't see what I prayed for...

Why is it that we 'know' it will be negative but we still test?

After over 4 years of trying, I can honestly say that I am used to seeing a negative...and normally I handle them quite well, in fact I haven't been too terribly upset about a negative since our trip to the RE for our IUI. However this time was different...and I am not sure why. It was an emotional day for me, seeing that negative was something I expected to see...but it hurt this time.

I wish that if it wasn't God's desire for me to be a mother at this particular time, he could take the desire away temporarily. I know that God has a plan for Zach and I. I truly believe that things will happen the way he has written for us and I accept that. It just sometimes things hits me harder some days vs. others...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Comments

I have resorted back to just regular comments through blogger...I switched a while back due to getting several spam comments; however I am having too many problems with this new comment system as well as so many blog friends have told me they can't comment through it...so I figured I would give this one a try again....maybe the pesky little spammers will leave me alone this time around :)


Hope y'all are enjoying y'alls week!!! :)

New Addition

We have a new addition...

A BOAT!

Now before you 'gasp' let me explain we did NOT pay for this boat...I don't want anyone thinking-

'Gesh...there saving for IVF and there buying a boat!!??'

The story is this boat is my grandparents...it's a 1982 (older than me!!)...my dad actually skied on this boat a few times which I think it really awesome!!! This boat sat for 12 years at my grandparents house and one day they asked if we would be interested in taking it (this was about 2 years ago)...Zach quickly agreed yes and off my grandpa and him went to take it to the shop (after sitting for 12 years it was in major need for a tune up). The place it sat kept putting it on the back burner, no one wanted to work on it due to the age (I think they figured it was just too much work and wasn't worth their time)...2 years later (about 2 months ago) Zach and my grandpa took it to another place, one that Zach found while working...they looked at it and said all it needed was a tune up and would be ready in no time!!

I got the call last week that it was ready and they went and picked it up...when I arrived home from work Zach was sitting in the boat scrubbing the inside. I think it's safe to say he has a 'new toy'.

I am not to crazy about how the boat 'looks'...lets face it...it's 28 years old, and sat untouched for 12 years...it IS in decent condition due to my grandpa taking good care of it...but it's still not the prettiest boat out there...but it's a boat and that is something I'm extremely happy about!

I will have to get some pictures of it soon so y'all can see our new addition and Zach's new toy :)

Emotional Fathers Day...

How come things have to be so hard? This Fathers Day was a hard one on Zach and I absolutley hated seeing him hurt. I'd rather be the one in pain then see him hurting. It seems with each year that goes by the stronger I get and learn to deal with these things better....but it seems that with each year these holidays hit Zach a little harder... I think he is finally at the age where being a dad and our 'future' consumes his mind. I often hear him talking about when we have kids 'this'...or when we have kids 'that'.... I want our kid to do this...I want to take our kids here...and so forth...

I want to make him a Father so very bad! It hurts me that I can't provide him this!!

I know that he would be a terrific daddy and I can't wait for the day that I can watch him fall in love with our kids...I long for that day!

Thankfully my little brother stayed the weekend with us, so come Sunday after our emotional morning we went in the living room and saw his smiling face which helped Zach a lot!! Zach also received a few Fathers Day cards, ones telling him that their thinking of him, praying for us and one day he will make an amazing Father...I was a bit nervous when the cards came because you never know how something like that will effect someone, but he truly enjoyed and appreciated the cards.

So thank you to the few blog readers and family who sent him a card and even a text or email...that was really sweet of y'all!

Did the washer pay you?

I wash all the clothes and Zach is horrible at remembering to empty his pockets; I also am horrible at remembering to check his pockets, so the deal is...whatever money is left in his pockets and finds it's way in my washer or dryer is mine...

With that said the following conversation happened last night:

Zach- Did the washer pay you lately?

Me- Yes

Zach- I know it did, and it paid you good too!

Me- Yes it was pretty good...

Zach- That was $30.00, I need that money back...

Me- Nope, that's my tip for doing your clothes ;-)

Zach- Ughhh, when will I learn to check my pockets...

Me- With payments like that, hopefully no time soon!!!

I can't tell you how much money I've made off of 'the washer paying me'. I have a milk jug in there and it's almost full of coins and dollars...once it's full I am going to cash it in---I'm really curious how much money Zach has ''tipped' me to do his clothes through the past year!!

Am I the only wife out there that keeps the money I find in the washer?? Does that make me bad-ha!! :)

Cattle Baron's Ball

Last weekend my new boss invited Zach and I to a benefit that the American Cancer Society was hosting, called the Cattle Baron's Ball. Zach nor I have ever been, so we were really excited.

We went with a group of people my boss knows as well as a few customers of ours. Blake Shelton was the entertainer and he was fantastic! He put on an amazing show!!!

Here are a few pictures from the evening!

Peanut had to jump in a picture :)

Blake Shelton---he is a cutie pa-tootie!!

Heather, one of our customers, and I

Broken :(

Well blogger friends....my laptop is broken at the moment. So about the time I finally figure out how to juggle all my daily task as well as blogging and keeping up with all my friends my computer as went down....urgh!


I just wanted to let y'all know I am keeping updated on y'alls blogs through my phone, but commenting is near impossible! I should have my laptop up and running by the end of the week! (yay!) I have alot of catch up post to do and pictures to upload once it's back up and running!!!

Mom Update

My mom had a discussion with her surgeon at Baylor Hospital; unfortunately it didn't go as we had hoped for....

My moms purpose for wanting to go to Dallas was so that when then time comes that she is in a wheelchair she wanted to know in her heart that she did everything there was possible to prevent that. We knew going in that there more than likely wouldn't be anything that Dr's could do; but with Faith and modern day technology we had hope that maybe just maybe something might come from these appts.

However after reviewing her charts the Dr advised there was nothing they could do to help her. Surgery would be a matter of life or death, and he said unfortunately surgery would lean closer to death than life. He said that he nor any Dr should perform surgery on her, her and the only way they would is if she was already on the verge of life and death.

She was very emotional when telling me this news, I know in her heart she was hoping for more. My heart aches for her, I can not imagine what it will be like living day by day knowing that tomorrow may be your last day walking for the rest of your life.

I hate seeing her in pain, I hate seeing her embarrassed because she can't walk normally; I want my mom to be happy and I pray that one day she can be at ease with this journey God has placed her on and as pain free as she can possibly be.

If you have a moment can you please say a small prayer for peace for my mother, I would greatly appreciate that.

Lil' Hawaiian Birthday Party

Guess who turned TWO....little Miss Haidyn!

Haidyn is one of my best friends Ashley's daughter, she is a cutie-pa-tootie! I can't believe she is already TWO years old!

Her theme was Hawaiian, and aren't her cupcakes just adorable!?

Big sister Avery thought they looked yummy too, So Aunt Tiff snuck her one and let her eat one early, she loved it! :)

The Birthday girl loved her little party--I didn't get a picture of her in her little grass skirt, but she sure did look too cute for words!

The day wouldn't have been complete without getting a few pictures of my Reesey Poo...after all she is going on 4 months (sniff sniff)...

Look at those beautiful eyes!

And that adorable little smile...

Ahhh...I just love my little 'Heard' girls!

Memorial Day-Promised Pics

Yes Yes Yes...I know I am late on this blog, but I've been swamped and I am just now getting time to upload these pictures.

This is the night we went over to our friend Selena's house for a pool party on Memorial Day weekend. My allergies were killing me this day, so I think while everyone else swam the majority of the time I sneezed and sniffled...but I throughout me sneezing I managed to have a wonderful time---it's always great when friends get together and hang out! I love it!

After we left Zach took me to Dairy Queen to get a dipped ice cream cone in hopes to make me feel better, it really didn't work, but it was mighty tasty :)

Here are a few pictures :)

Me and one of the sweetest friends ever-Ashley!

Me and Zach

Zach cooking yummy food!

From left to right: Selena, Me, Zach, Ash, James G., Shane, and James

Zach and I at Dairy Queen getting a dipped ice cream cone, YUM!

Raining Cats and Dogs

When it rains it pours...literally.

We have been having some pretty bad storms in central TX the past couple weeks...I've been holding my breath hoping that our roof would stay strong (we live in an older house and it's just a matter of time before having to get a new roof)....we were kinda hoping that we could buy time until we move, however thanks to this lovely storm we had today we will probably be getting a new roof...SOON.

I hate to admit this next part, but due to being so extremely busy my house has been a disaster, laundry was piling up and things weren't getting done. I am adjusting to my new work hours and trying to do all of my normal routine cleaning, however there was so much that I was lacking...so I was beyond thrilled when my new bosses cleaning lady offered to clean my entire house and do my laundry for really cheap. I initially turned her down because I've always done things myself, but thought I could give it a shot since it was so cheap and maybe it would help me out...I know look at it as a blessing in disguise.

About an hour after being here she called me in panic to tell me my roof in my kitchen was leaking and water was 'pouring' in... (this is about the time I had a mini heart attack)...I quickly explained the situation to my boss and ran out the door to come home, thankfully she was exaggerating a bit as it wasn't 'pouring' in, but it was def. a consistent drip (I can only imagine all the water that would have been in my house if it wasn't for her calling me and placing a bucket under the leak!) I am also very thankful that my insurance agent is as amazing as he is because I called him and he came over within 10 minutes to look at it with me...thankfully this kind of stuff is covered under my home owners insurance...

This wasn't how I planned my Wednesday to go...but thankfully I've had help throughout this crazy crazy day!!

P.S. thank you to everyone who has emailed me about my cousin and their babies, they are doing amazing. Cullen is off of his C-Pap (which is amazing) and Presley is doing great...for being so early and so tiny they are proving to be so very strong! My cousin and his sweet wife are doing great as well...thanks again for continuing to check on them and pray for them! I really appreciate it. :)

Random Bits and Prayer Request

*Please keep my cousin Corey and his wife Brittani in your prayers, she delivered her twins this morning at 28 weeks, both babies are a little over 2lbs. Momma and babies seem to be doing fine right now, but please say a special prayer for them if you could.

* We went to lake Whitney again this weekend and I am so burnt....as we were driving up to the park we normally go to they were escorting everyone out of the water due to a missing person, a 15 year old old was missing, hours later with the help of scuba divers they found his body--please keep that family in your prayers.

* I have so many pictures to upload, still some from Memorial Day Weekend, and some from this past weekend...one of my besties, Ashley's, little girl turned 2...she had a Hawaiian party, everything was adorable! I will get those uploaded soon!

* I believe the countdown is 2 months till my inlaws will be officially living in IL. Once they are there and settled we will be making a road-trip to see them!

* It's just the beginning of summer here and it's already 100 degrees...it's going to be a HOT summer for us Texans!

* I had alot more to add on here....but once I got to typing and catching up on some blogs I forgot about all the little things I wanted to add....maybe I will remember them later...


Hope y'all have a great week!

Happiness and Sadness

A very sweet and dear friend of mine asked me recently what I thought about happiness and sadness, and why I believe happiness should over-way sadness...

That's a very tough and difficult question to answer, as all know being sad is one of the worst feelings one can have...but being happy is one of the best and most rewarding feelings.

Happiness and sadness run parallel to each other, it never fails when one stops to take a rest the other one tends to take up the slack...you can not escape either one of them.

I've learned through this journey that happiness sneaks up through a door you didn't know you left open, a door that brought in the sadness.... Happiness comes at just the right moments in your life. Happiness comes from accepting your troubles and appreciating your journey. Happiness can come wherever you are in your life!

I know at times sadness seems as though it completely takes over, I know this feeling all too well unfortunately...but thankfully throughout our trails God has given me the patience and understanding to know that you can and are allowed to be happy as well!

I can't tell you not to be sad, it's human nature to be sad, and cry--that makes us normal. I can however tell you that if you can try to find comfort in the sadness that God is with you and has his arms around you at that very moment and is walking with you side by side during whatever situation you are in, then that can help you become happy during your trails.

Life is like a box of crayons...

We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they all have learned to live together in the same box.

I'm sure you have heard this quote often, it's a popular one...I often get it on emails that are forwarded to me...

BUT, I never really looked at that statement in any other way then a nice analogy... until someone recently sent me a card in the mail with those words on it, and below saying 'Life is alot like a box of crayons, and so is infertility'.

How true!

Every crayon is different. Each one made differently. Each one created differently to produce a different picture than the one next to it. Much like humans. We were all created differently, each one of us were created to produce a different picture than our neighbors. However instead of looking at our self as unique individuals we often want what the other has...

Crayons start out as just liquid and particulars that with time hardened up to make them what children want. They're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect....but with time they'll be ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, some broken, some missing their wrappers, and some smudged with other colors...

Sometimes in life we get lost with those around us and forget that God created us differently on purpose. Sometimes Infertility hits me like a train going full force, but sometimes I sit in amazement and pride that God choose me for this journey...

It's normal in life to want to be just like your neighbor, to love there 'shape'...there 'beautiful color' ... 'there box may be brand new' .... 'there friends may be the most popular ones' ....

But that's not what life's about; life's about loving who you are and what God has blessed you with! God has trusted me with infertility, and I trust him that he will guide us to where we are supposed to be.

Thank you God for creating me the way you wanted to, for my 'brightness' my 'shape' my 'dullness' my 'uniqueness'....my 'wrapper' may be torn....my 'tip' may be flat... I may not be the most popular one in the box, but I am happy with who I am and who I have become because of you!

Emails-Questions

I've been receiving quite a bit of emails lately, I wanted to thank you all for sending me warm wishing at my new job, I do love it so far--it's not as stressful and I'm learning so many new things...

Thank you again for all of the emails, I really appreciate them and I will be answering each one soon...I apologize it's taken me longer than normal to answer.

I have received two particular questions quite frequently lately--I will be putting these under my FAQ at the top of my page as well...anytime you can't find the answer your looking for up there always feel free to email me... :)

Where do we stand as far as going back to the RE for IVF: as of right now we are on hold, still saving and always praying. Due to my recent job transition we don't look to go back to the RE for quite a while (whats quite a while? not sure...6 months?? I can't really answer that question)....we are still praying for a miracle in the mean time, we are still actively trying....I have one more cycle of 50mg clomid then we will go back to my regular OBGYN for follicle scans. (The clomid was brought back in the picture due to my very abnormal cycles, this was put in action to try to balance us out so that we could at least have the opportunity to try naturally...we will not go above 50mg, as this is more-less to help regulate me vs. getting me to ovulate, we do not want to take chances of hyper-stimulating my ovaries as well as the more the mg the higher the cost and we are trying to save money for IVF...

Where exactly do I work now and what do I do: I moved to a local jewelery store as the store manager. I seriously do everything from sale the jewelry to payroll. I love it so far as it's so different from anything I've ever done, not to mention it's more money as well. :-)

By the way, I can't believe it's already JUNE...where has this year flew by too???

HAPPY JUNE!