Monday, May 31, 2010
Our weekend started out wonderful, but quickly came to an end when I woke up and was barely able to move...Zach and I went out to Lake Whitney Saturday with some friends, and Sunday we went over to our friends house and hung out by there pool. Zach and I planned on spending 'actual' Memorial Day outside in the sun...finishing up our 3 day weekend in the sun, having fun...
Well...needless to say that's not how things happened. As I type this I am curled up on the couch with a heating pad on my back, I somehow pinched a nerve in my back and literally can barely walk. My sweet husband and dusting the living room while I am crippled...bless his soul!
I have the worst back, it's always in pain...I have a slight case of scoliosis and seem to get pinched nerves in my back or shoulders often (it was just last week that I couldn't move my arm due to my shoulder...)
I took a few pictures last night at our friends house, but my camera is nowhere near me and it really takes alot to move, so I will have to upload those later. :)
Does anyone have any cures for pinched nerves, besides soaking in the tub or heating pads??
Hope everyone's Memorial Day has been great!!!!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Out of nowhere she asked me 'Do you ever feel like you are broken?'
I was a little caught off guard, all of these thoughts were running through my head as I was trying to figure out if she 'knew' me or not?? What brought her to ask me this question?
I finally answered her 'honestly, yes mam' I do...'
She quickly said, 'Sometimes I do to, but you know...everyone of us is broken or bruised in some way...God does that to help each one of us grow'...
I grabbed her hand and told her 'Thank you' and told her I really needed to hear that!
She said, 'Dear...something in my heart told me to tell you this'
I do not know why she decided to share this with me, who knows...she may do this with everyone she meets...but I do believe she said this to me for a reason; I believe God's hand was on it....
God brings some people in our lives for a reason, even if it's just for a split second to remind you that he is by your side at all times!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
For example, I think and pray about having a child everyday...however the dream of me becoming a mother and making my husband a father is in Gods hands, and his hands alone, so being realistic I can't help but think that being a mother may not be my destiny. Although my heart desires it, it may not be in the plans that God created for my husband and I...
While thinking about these things I can't help but wonder will my husband still love me if I am unable to provide him a son or daughter? Although in my heart I know he will as he is my biggest support system and my rock that keeps me strong, I can't help but think these things at times?
Will my family be disappointed in me if I can't make them grandparents? I know they will love me no matter what, but it's so hard 'not' to wonder things like these....
Although my husband and I share this infertility 'problem', at times I feel like it's solely me who is 'broken'...I feel incomplete as a women...my heart aches for a child so very bad, especially on nights like last night. As I sat down and went through my facebook and blogger to catch up on my friends, I couldn't help but stare with tears in my eyes at there family pictures with their precious babies in them...don't get me wrong--I am extremely overjoyed and happy for each one of my friends, I just wish I could join in on the family pictures...I would give anything to have a child to take a million and one pictures of...
As all know, the only 'children' in my life right now are my little 4 legged fur babies and I often wonder will they be the only children I have in my life? I love them so much, but they can't begin to fill this hole in my heart that aches for a child of our own....
So many deep thoughts and so much heartache, but yet so much happiness too...our life has been far from 'normal' (but whose is?)!!
I don't want a pitty party, this is the path in my life where I am supposed to be and I have accepted this, I just often catch myself 'wondering' about how things will end up...will we finally be blessed with our miracle child, or will be continue to struggle with this for years to come??
I trust in God, my faith in Him has not dwindled away, it never will! I still believe that God placed us on this journey for a reason, and I do not doubt him...I can see how much infertility has changed Zach and I for the better; so although this journey has been a painful ride--it's been a blessing as well...
I just don't want to be on this ride forever...
Our greatest glory consist not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thank you for all the sweet anniversary comments, we had an amazing day celebrating our 4 years of marriage :)
Hope y'all have a blessed weekend :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
We have been through so much in our short 4 years of marriage; God has truly tested our strength...
Sometimes I wonder what our life would be like without infertility, would our marriage be as strong?
I am so thankful that God placed us on this journey together. Zachary, you are my rock...you keep me sane through the rough times! I can't put into words how much you mean to me!
I love you more than words can ever express and as the days go by I find myself falling more and more in love with you. The things I treasure most in life, are those that we share!
Thank you Zach, for being you and for loving me! Thank you for picking me up when I am weak! You are my soul mate and my best friend!
May you always be as happy as you make me!! I love you honey!
Happy 4 year Anniversary!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
As most know by reading my blog, he is the cook. Although I love to cook, I rarely do so. While he was gone I hardly ate supper, most days I kept myself busy with other things that by the time it was 9:00pm it was too late to eat.
So when he arrived home the first thing he wanted to do was cook me a dinner; because while I wasn't cooking here-he wasn't cooking there!
Although it practically killed him to not make one of his ‘specials’ we were just so busy so we resorted to hamburger helper…he called me in the kitchen and wanted to ‘show me something’…
Monday, May 17, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
It was so pretty the other weekend that our pups were able to get a bath outside…normally we bath them in our bathtub, which the two little ones are easy but it’s really hard getting Sasha in the tub…so it’s really nice when we can fill up the little doggy pool and bath them…
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I am not your typical camper. I like my makeup, my hair products, and defiantly my straightener. I hate hate hate bugs, and have pretty bad allergies…
But guess who went camping….ME!
OK, so I did bring my makeup, and my straightener…and we didn’t sleep in an actual tent we stayed in a screened in cabin…but it was camping! Camping enough for me!!!
We went with our best friends, Ashley and James, and there little girls and her mom and boyfriend.
Do you know how many bugs there are and how many come out at night? Well let me just tell you I killed more spiders than I could count…and two scorpions!!
OH, and did you know that raccoons are sneaky little creatures?! Well let me just tell you a little about them…we were sitting at our little ‘hut’ (that’s what I called our cabin)…and all of the sudden we heard Ashley’s mom yelling for the guys to get to her hut ‘quick’…wanna know why she was in shear panic? Well that’s because a RACCOON was in her HUT! INSIDE IT, yes—these huts are screened in; however it appears that these raccoons have little thumbs and they can maneuver these screens and crawl in…makes for sleeping at night a tricky thing (not easy to sleep with one eye open)…ha!!
One night I woke up to a noise outside of our hut and it was a raccoon going through our trash; we had a little stare down during the night as I panickly awaked my husband to go shoo this creature away!
Overall our trip was a blast!!! Creatures, bugs and all we will defiantly be going back many times during this summer…I just know now what all type of repellant to buy for our next trip! ;-)
Here are some pics (way out of order):
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Zach and I hardly ever go out on the town; our going out normally consist of going to a friends house and watching movies, playing the wii, or just hanging out—I love any excuse to get all dolled up!! So the other weekend we went out with some of our best friends; Ashley and James and some other people that Zach went to school with…
Friday, May 7, 2010
You know it’s spring in Texas when you are driving down the road and see nothing but fields of ‘blue’…bluebonnets that is; and you can defiantly expect to see many people stopped along the interstate, at the park or in the many fields full of beautiful bluebonnets or Indian paintbrushes.
Bluebonnets are our state flower; I am not sure if it’s just a ‘
Well a couple weeks ago, Ashley and her family and Zach and I headed to one of the parks nearby to capture some ‘bluebonnet pictures’…here are some that we took.