When Your Hut's on Fire

I recieved this in an email today and it's so true. Sometimes; well alot of times we often look at the bad and ask why me? BUT we need to look at the bigger picture, God has a PLAN...EVERYTHING happens for a reason. God is in control and each and everything he does is for a certain reason. Although we will never know, we just have to have faith and follow the path that leads us to our own "plan".

Here is the email:

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.. Exhausted, he eventually managedto build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and tostore his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived hometo find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?" Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

Dear God

Dear God,

Every month, I obsess over my symptoms. I search the internet for gifts to give our parents when we share with them the news. I look for songs that would go well as a soundrack to a video that ends with "We're pregnant.." and a little photo of the first ultrasound. I think of ways to tell my husband. I decorate a nursery in my head. I search for fabrics, cribs, and for understanding.

I wait two weeks for nothing. I wait two weeks only to begin again. I wait two weeks for disappointment. I wait two weeks to turn to You and ask You "Why? Why, God, why?" From here on out, I promise I am taking You on this journey with me. I am not going to wait until I fall apart or "need you". I need You now and always. And so I'm asking for Your help.

Heavenly Father, I pray in my heart of hearts to create a little one in Your image. I pray for forgiveness and strength-and for the ability to get through the times when we fail. I pray for Your plan, and that You will do things in YOUR time, and NOT mine...as hard as that is sometimes. I pray for the willingness to accept what I am dealt, and to be thankful for the things I have been given, that so often I do not deserve. Lord, let this be a time of learning and a time of thankfulness. For I was born a woman, with my own gifts and characteristics that no one can match or re-create. Bless me on this journey. And bless those that struggle with me.

AMEN

All my love and devotion,

Tiffany

Grocery store venting

OK, So I had to go to the grocery store today for some things....I am standing in line at the checkout and there is this older lady with a younger girl and then a baby (probably around 2 years old). The baby wanted skittles realllllllly bad...the little girl kept saying no were fixing to go eat just hold on a bit (you could tell the baby was hungry just b/c she was whining, but she wasn't screaming or being a loud...just normal baby whining) well they start walking away and the mom (I am asumming)/older lady tells the baby to "SHUT THE F*** UP". OK so this REALLLLLLY makes me mad, however this the lady was TRIPLE my size I kept my mouth shut. I really don't feel good today b/c of my allergies moreless getting my butt kicked in a grocery store!

I just don't undestand some people. That is an inocent child...why do you have to tell them to "Shut the f*** up"??? That baby is just hungry, that baby wasn't being overly loud (I have witnessed WAYYYYY worse in public) The child was just obviously cranky and hungry.

Maybe I see things more now b/c I want a child of my own and would do anything to have one. Maybe I appriciate children more...I don't know what it is honestly, but I don't think you should ever speak to anyone like that, MORELESS A inocent child. That lady has NO idea how lucky and how blessed she is. A baby/child is a WONDERFUL blessing...I am not saying not to get angry or frustrated with your kids b/c I am sure that will happen. But this baby couldn't have been more than 2 years old, and on top of that she wasn't doing anything wrong AND on top of that...EVEN if she is frustrating you; you don't have to cuss at them.

It just breaks my heart...I guess everyone is differnt...I am STRONLY against talking/cussing at your children OR any of your loved ones like that!!!!!!

"Always count your blessing from God; for without them...life is meaningless"

TTC Terms...

Well the past 2 1/2 years have been a journey...and I have LEARNED soooo much! Especially the trying to concieve "lingo". I remember going into my first TTC support group and reading "My AF.....we BD.....DH this...CD that...." I was COMPLETELY lost. I thought to myself...how in the world am I suposed to know what all this means??? Well....I learned and NOW I am "one" of those girls who use these words in every day use and have my family and friends go "What...what did you just say??" haha!!! I can't help it though, I talk to these girls every single day, it's normal to us to talk in this "lingo"...sooo....I thought I would let yall in on some of our TTC lingo :o)

*TTC=Trying to concieve

*BD=Baby Dance/intercourse

*AF= Aunt Flo/Menstrual Cycle

*CD=cycle day/the day your cycle is on

*DH=Dear Husband (in reference to when your talking about your husband)

*DD/DS=Dear Daughter/Dear Son (same as above)

*O=ovulate/ovulation

*BBT=Basal Body Temperature

*BFN=Big Fat Negative (neg. pregnancy test)

*BFP=Big Fat Positive (positive pregnancy test)

*OPK=Ovulation Predictor Kit

*HPT=home pregnancy test

AND thats just the begining of the list...I could go ON and ON and ON. I don't know what I would do without those group of girls on my support page. They are amazing and they truly know what I am going though, and not only that...but they have taught me so much through this journey, inculding the above lingo ;o)...each one of them are little angels from above sent to help me through the TTC journey!

Suprise Suprise

Well my Monday morning started normal, during the day I had some "fertile symptoms" but didn't think too much into it. My friend that I have met online in one of the "trying to concieve threads" bought a fancy fertility monitor so she offered to send me her left over ovulation test, I almost didn't want them b/c they have hardly ever worked before, but I decided what the heck..there free so why not try? (I wasn't going to do this this cycle, but thought it would be nice to see what they say....) Well that afternoon I got home and they were in my mailbox, I took one as soon as I walked in the door...the line was dark, but not enough to be positive (with ovulation test there are always 2 lines, but the test line has to be as dark or darker than the control line). Well for the last week I decided I did want to take my temp every morning b/c I wanted to compare this "break" month off of fertilites to when I am on my fertilites, well I am really glad that I decided that!!! I was only on CD8 on Monday (really early!!!) but I told myself IF my temp went up the next morning I would test again (I only had 6 test and didn't want to waste them unless I was sure) WELL....I took it and SUPRISE SUPRISE, OH MY GOODNESS....A FREAKIN' POSITIVE OPK!!!! I can't believe it....my body is gearing up and getting ready to Ovulate! HOLY COW...and it's doing it WITHOUT all the other meds, just vitamins!!!!!

WELL....Wednesday morning I took another....POSITIVE AGAIN....This morning I took another one...positive again!!!! THIS CONFIRMS I HAVE INDEED OVULATED. As well as my temps being high (and all the other ovulation symptoms I have)!!!! I am sooo extremly glad I decided to temp and try these OPK's b/c without them I wouldn't have known 100% for sure and it's VERY nice to know I have Ovulated!!!!

NOW, I don't know if I will get pregnant; or how the rest of this cycle will fall...but I do know my body isn't just sitting here like a bump on a log till August. Which that in itself makes me really really happy!!!

Zach and I are keeping busy working out and redoing a couple rooms (decorating wise) in our house so even through all this good news we are trying to keep our mind off of things. So if I don't get back on here in a while with an update thats why...I don't "expect" to be pregnant just because I ovulated on my own, I am extremly thrilled and blessed I have...but I don't expect anything else. If it happens, it will happen (I pray it does but don't want to get my hopes up)! God is in charge and there is only one thing Zach and I can do "have fun" "in many different aspects" haha!!!! SOO...just say a little prayer that a blessing comes from this, but if not that we have fun during this break :o)

Define "Break"

Well stinkin' ol' AF (Aunt Flo, you know the mean on lady who comes to town once a month who makes you miserable...yea her) well she has arrived...which we knew that she was most likely going to come since I didn't ovulate and all...so it wasn't a big let down to see her. WELL..anyways, now I am suposed to be on a 2 month "break"....well can you define break???

As most of yall know I can't just sit back and let my body do "nothing" (it tends to do that on breaks) SOO...Zach and I have been researching herbal vitamins...with the help of my lovely TTC online friends and my Dr. of course we have found the PERFECT vitamins to take during this "so called break". I will be taking Wheat Germ Oil/Omega 3 and Zach will be taking Imperal Gold Maca...these are both wonderful vitamins as it is, but can extremly help with trying to concieve. SOOO we are going to give it a whirl during this "break"...can't hurt...right?

SOOO here comes the "break" part....I know I am suposed to be "realxing" BLAH BLAH BLAH...well we will be...there will be NO timed "baby dancing", NO charting my cycle and NO temping....whatever happens WILL happen...BUT we want to take these vitamins to help our bodys PLUS see if MAYBE just MAYBE it will help us concieve naturally...it's a long stretch, but hey...it can happen!!!

So again I ask.....define "break" for me... :o)

4th of July

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!

We had a wonderful 4th of July! Our day started by going out on the lake with "A", her dad, Amanda, Brett and us of course. We took turns tubing and flying through the water! BOY was that FUN FUN FUN!!!! After hours baking in the sun we went to Donna's and grilled out!!! mmmm....mmmm.....goood!!!!! Once we got done eating we hurried to Lorena and bought some fireworks then came home hurried and got ready to make it down town to watch the fireworks. The fireworks were PRETTY but it seemed like there wasn't as many as last year...oh well we made up for the lack of fireworks when we got home and shot off all our own....check out a few of the pics from the 4th!!!

Zach tubing

2 thumbs up...I'm ready

God has a plan....

I went to the Dr again today (for "THE" ultrasound) you know the one that would tell me if a) I am going to ovulate and get the IUI or b) not ovulate and rest for 2 months and start back up with Clomid/IUI till December....WELLLL.....my body has chosed option B. UNFORTUANTLY...BUT it's ok because I truely believe God has a plan. I SOO wish I knew what his plan was, but I don't...so I just have to have faith that he knows what he is doing and everything will be ok. I've told a million and one ppl. that I would LOVE to be "one" of those girls who doesn't have to try to get pregnant and who can be like "OMG...I think my period is late I need to take a test" you know the ones who get pregnant on accident...YEA I would SOOO love for that to happen to me, it sure would beat trying for 2 darn years....WELL...maybe thats God's plan for me to "accidently" get pregnant these 2 months I am on this little break...maybe not....maybe it's his plan for me to be on Clomid...maybe not....maybe he is guideing me to the fertility clinic....maybe not. WE don't know God's plan, but he does!!!!

It has taken me a long time to accept everything, and even though I have accepted it...these past couple days I have had to RE-accept everything. I know that God has a plan and knowing that makes me feel better. YES I want to be a mother more than anything in the world, I want to be able to tell my husband he is going to be a father and watch his eyes light up and I truely believe that God wants that as well...unfortuantly our road to a baby is a little longer and has a little more potholes than others. WE WILL GET THERE THOUGH and when we do we will be WAY PAST cloud 9...we will be on "Cloud 99" :o)

"Don't worry about anything: instead, pray for everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. The you will experience God's peace which exceeds anything we can understand." Philippians 4:6

Everything will be ok in the end....if it's not ok....it's NOT THE END!!!!!!!!! Thanks for all your prayers, and please keep them up.

-LOVE-