I have had so much on my mind lately, and I am not sure how to sort all of my thoughts. I feel guilty for being so excited about our upcoming IVF journey. I realize how ridiculous that sounds. I guess it feels weird having it handed to us when there are so many couples out there whose insurance will not cover it...I am blessed, but I feel sad at the same time. Why are we so deserving of this? Why can't insurance cover infertility issues for everyone?!
I guess I don't feel worthy of this journey, I see others struggling like us, I read so many others blogs...why does this journey have to be so hard. Why can't starting a family be 'easy'. I'm holding onto faith!
When Zach and I first met, we daydreamed about our future. I remember Zach planning our whole life out, when we would get engaged, married, when we would start trying for kids, how many we would have...if only it were that easy! For some it is, for some it's far from that!
I can't imagine my life without infertility as crazy as it sounds, I'm so thankful for this journey because of who it has molded me into, not to mention our marriage growing so much closer due to this. I'm so used to this journey, I can't picture myself actually pregnant. I want to be pregnant, ohhh so bad....I guess I am just used to this, I know nothing else other than use struggling to conceive...will we finally be able to beat this journey?! I'm holding onto faith!!!
'Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to'
35 MORE DAYS!